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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 400960 times)

Offline Achas Veachas

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According to poll data, President Obama's victory on Tuesday was due largely to his popularity with both college students and the unemployed.
So basically Obama became president the same way Budweiser became the King of Beers.

-SNL
;D

Offline Achas Veachas

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Offline SamDaMan

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@TURXJOKES: An American seminary girl gets into a cab in Yerushalyim on a Friday.
The driver asks, "Eifo at b'Shabbat?"
She answers, "Daf Lamed Vav."
But I'm still proud to be from clev!

Offline meshugener

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@TURXJOKES: An American seminary girl gets into a cab in Yerushalyim on a Friday.
The driver asks, "Eifo at b'Shabbat?"
She answers, "Daf Lamed Vav."
reminds me of, a young American girl with a load of luggage asks the bus driver ?היש לך מקום בתחתונים שלך
Love me or hate me. I still love you.

Offline Achas Veachas

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reminds me of, a young American girl with a load of luggage asks the bus driver ?היש לך מקום בתחתונים שלך
Heard that a bit different, as she's going off the bus she says נהג יש לי משהו בתחתונים

Offline Achas Veachas

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A girl is dating an Israeli Ba'al Teshuvah and is trying to assess how deeply committed he is, so she asks him 'have you read the book מסילת ישרים?' the boy scrunches his forehead trying to recall and says 'I don't think so but I probably watched the movie'.

Offline smurf

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Wife: do I look fat in this dress ?
Husband: do I look stupid in this shirt?

Offline creditor

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president O went shopping at a local bookstore with a shopping list on his blackberry. to show support for SBS

I bet ya, I know which amex card the guy ownes, I just don't wanna come across as a racist ;)
I'm just say'inę«

Offline Mimi K.

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A girl is dating an Israeli Ba'al Teshuvah and is trying to assess how deeply committed he is, so she asks him 'have you read the book מסילת ישרים?' the boy scrunches his forehead trying to recall and says 'I don't think so but I probably watched the movie'.
it was an Irv Perv w/ a BJJ girl and she asked if he reads from Michtav Me'Eliyahu.
"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Free Stuff!" 8)

Offline Chaikel

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A guy says he's collecting for a poor family in Israel.

I tell him to give me their name and address and ill send them the money.

He says "If I gave everyone my leads, I'd be out of business in no time"

#TrueEvenIfItDidntHappen
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Offline Achas Veachas

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A Meshulach is in town collecting for his Kollel in Yerushalayim. Someone gets to talking to him, and he starts asking questions about the Kollel, the Yungerleit, the learning etc. and soon enough realizes that the whole Kollel exists in the Meshulachs imagination and thats it. Finally the man asks the meshulach what's your name? The Meshulach answers Dan, so the man says I'm sorry I can't give you any money; because Dan is BeGimatria Ganev. The poor Meshulach answers what do you mean? דן is 54 while גנב is 55? the man answered "Your right however דן עם הכולל = גנב"

Offline meshugener

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A Meshulach is in town collecting for his Kollel in Yerushalayim. Someone gets to talking to him, and he starts asking questions about the Kollel, the Yungerleit, the learning etc. and soon enough realizes that the whole Kollel exists in the Meshulachs imagination and thats it. Finally the man asks the meshulach what's your name? The Meshulach answers Dan, so the man says I'm sorry I can't give you any money; because Dan is BeGimatria Ganev. The poor Meshulach answers what do you mean? דן is 54 while גנב is 55? the man answered "Your right however דן עם הכולל = גנב"
you're trying to be controversial, I see.
Love me or hate me. I still love you.

Offline Achas Veachas

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you're trying to be controversial, I see.
I was thinking of putting a tongue in cheek comment about a possible relationship :P
Doubt there is any though. Dan doesn't strike me as the Meshulach type 8)

Offline SamDaMan

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Dan doesn't strike me as the Meshulach type 8)
ha ALOL
But I'm still proud to be from clev!

Offline mmermss

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