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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 400930 times)

Offline good sam

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A screwdriver walks into a bar.

The bartender looks at him quizzically.

The screwdriver asks "What's the matter?"

The bartender replies "You know, we have a drink named after you"

"You have a drink named Steve?"
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HT: DMYD

Offline good sam

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(First time a Reader's Digest joke made me laugh)

The other two people, the ones who yelled "its a bird," "its a plane," what were they so worked up about?
If you don't care why would you comment?
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Offline sky121

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Does anyone remember the joke with the guy writing the telegram who keeps removing words that aren't needed?

Can't find it.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Achas Veachas

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Here it is:
Quote
I took out the redundant parts ;D

Offline sky121

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Here it is:
Quote
I took out the redundant parts ;D


Lol
I guess I was asking for that.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Online yuneeq

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Does anyone remember the joke with the guy writing the telegram who keeps removing words that aren't needed?

Can't find it.

Really thought that was supposed to be the actual joke.
And I think you're asking about the comfordabul joke. 

Offline elizmm

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Heard this recently, instead of writing it up myself I used the lazy man's trusted helper - google, and found it nicely written up.



A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.

The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned. I committed adultery."

Priest says: "How many times?"

Woman: "Three times."

Priest says, "Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more."

A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

Priest says, "What did you do?"

Man says, "I committed adultery."

Priest asks, "How many times?"

Man replies, "Three times."

Priest says, "Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the box, and sin no more."

The Rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."

Rabbi says, "What did you do?"

Woman replies, "I committed adultery."

Rabbi asks, "How many times?"

Woman says "Once."

Rabbi says, "Go do it two more times, we have a special this week, three for $5.00."
It is all from Hashem and he will continue to give!

Offline Moishebatchy

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Does anyone remember the joke with the guy writing the telegram who keeps removing words that aren't needed?

Can't find it.

I remember it... but in Yiddish.  :-\

Offline mmermss

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It's not about the quantity of your posts.  It's about the quality.

Offline sky121

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Really thought that was supposed to be the actual joke.
And I think you're asking about the comfordabul joke.

No, not that one.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline good sam

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If you don't care why would you comment?
HT: DMYD

Offline mmermss

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It's not about the quantity of your posts.  It's about the quality.

Offline DrDanny

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Mike is a 30 year old successful investor. He goes out and buys a brand new Lamborghini for his birthday. He stays up all night and at 4 in the morning he gets on the freeway near his home to try out his new toy. He takes her up to 180mph enjoying the thrill of the immense power under the hood. Suddenly, he passes a cop who flicks on his lights and gives chase. Mike obediently slows down and pulls onto the shoulder. The cop gets out and comes over to his window. He gives Mike a dirty look and says, "clearly we both know why I pulled you over." Mike smiles at him and calmly says, "ye, because I let you"
;D

Offline rots5

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Mike is a 30 year old successful investor. He goes out and buys a brand new Lamborghini for his birthday. He stays up all night and at 4 in the morning he gets on the freeway near his home to try out his new toy. He takes her up to 180mph enjoying the thrill of the immense power under the hood. Suddenly, he passes a cop who flicks on his lights and gives chase. Mike obediently slows down and pulls onto the shoulder. The cop gets out and comes over to his window. He gives Mike a dirty look and says, "clearly we both know why I pulled you over." Mike smiles at him and calmly says, "ye, because I let you"
;D
lol!!
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Offline Moishebatchy

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