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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 294682 times)

Offline danrocks613

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Why did the fisherman cross the road?
For the hallibut.

Offline yoruel

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What is the difference between a terrorist and a woman cleaning for Pesach?
A terrorist you can negotiate with.

Offline etech0

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Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Achas Veachas

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While attending a marriage seminar in Lakewood on communication, Chaim and his wife Shira listened to the instructor declare, "it's essential that husbands and wives are aware of the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Chaim leaned over to his wife and asked in a whisper, "Kemach All-Purpose, isn't it?"...
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline Achas Veachas

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I have a friend who's a physicist. He says he could predict the winner of any horse race, provided it involved perfectly elastic spherical horses moving through a vacuum...
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline Baruch

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While attending a marriage seminar in Lakewood Crown Heights on communication, Chaim and his wife Shira listened to the instructor declare, "it's essential that husbands and wives are aware of the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Chaim leaned over to his wife and asked in a whisper, "Kemach All-Purpose, isn't it?"...
FTFY,  :P ;D
When somebody thanks you for a favor you've done, respond "my pleasure", not "no problem".

Offline dovy2

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Offline Technical Difficulties

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A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novacaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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Offline Achas Veachas

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If you chose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you will be correct?

A) 25%
B) 50%
C) 60%
D) 25%
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline MC

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If you chose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you will be correct?

A) 25%
B) 50%
C) 60%
D) 25%
A statistics teacher of mine once used this on the first day of class.  :)

Offline Achas Veachas

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A statistics teacher of mine once used this on the first day of class.  :)
Just saw it and my head is in the process of exploding...
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline MC

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Just saw it and my head is in the process of exploding...
Lol, it's a probability paradox. Essentially, there are three answers 25%, 50% and 60%.  So, if you choose one of these at random then you will have a 33% chance of being correct.  However, this is not one of the answers, so the real answer is 0%.

Offline Achas Veachas

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Lol, it's a probability paradox. Essentially, there are three answers 25%, 50% and 60%.  So, if you choose one of these at random then you will have a 33% chance of being correct.  However, this is not one of the answers, so the real answer is 0%.
But you twice as likely to chose the correct answer if it's 25%....
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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If you chose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you will be correct?

A) 25%
B) 50%
C) 60%
D) 25%
What if C was 0%?  :P
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline Achas Veachas

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I may be off here but this is how I understood the situation.

There are 4 answers, assuming ONE of them is correct you have a 25% of guessing it at random so the correct answer would be 25%.

Now I look at the actual choices and see there are two "25%" answers which gives me a 50% chance of guessing one of them at random so the correct answer becomes 50%.

However now there's only one 50% answer so I'm back with a 25% probability of guessing it and random..............................................
Curiosity made the cat smarter.