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http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 429778 times)

Offline Iz

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1860 on: October 23, 2015, 01:27:57 AM »
Let guys have fun.
Don't give them all away.
+12!

Offline whYME

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1861 on: October 23, 2015, 02:08:11 AM »
I believe I got them all except 1 & 3. (so far)

2, 5, 6, 8,9, and 12 Are super easy. (at least with Knaper's picture where you can actually see the emoji.)
4 took me a minute to figure out what word I needed from the emoji.
7 I'm pretty sure I know though I'm not sure the emoji fits all that well with my answer.
10 & 11 I believe I got but the phonics don't fit nearly as well as the ones listed above, I feel like it's kinda stretching things a bit.

Offline chaimmayer

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1862 on: October 23, 2015, 08:18:42 AM »
There is a famous story that in yeshiv at gush etzion the Rosh yeshiva rav Lichtenstein z"l once answered the pay phone and it was a girl who wanted to speak to one one of his bachurim.
She gave him a message and then added "oh please tell him I love him"
Later the rosh yeshiva delivered the message and understandably the guy was quite embarrassed.

They say that after that there was a sign on top of the pay phone that said
אם בת תתקשר:
אמרי נא אחותי את למען ייטב לי בעבורך

Offline Baruch

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1863 on: October 23, 2015, 10:00:54 AM »
It seems like the most trouble people are having is with #1. I think it's "germ"any.

Offline skyguy918

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1864 on: October 23, 2015, 10:04:02 AM »
I believe I got them all except 1 & 3. (so far)

2, 5, 6, 8,9, and 12 Are super easy. (at least with Knaper's picture where you can actually see the emoji.)
4 took me a minute to figure out what word I needed from the emoji.
7 I'm pretty sure I know though I'm not sure the emoji fits all that well with my answer.
10 & 11 I believe I got but the phonics don't fit nearly as well as the ones listed above, I feel like it's kinda stretching things a bit.
I'd say 1, 3, 4, and 7 all are a stretch in terms of converting the emoji into the intended word. 10 and 11, the emoji make perfect sense, but you have to finagle the pronunciation to get to the final answer.

Offline Knaper_Chuchem

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1865 on: October 23, 2015, 11:10:38 AM »
While we're on emojis, I figured to add this... No deciphering needed though...

Offline lubaby

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1866 on: October 23, 2015, 11:20:26 AM »
Answers can be found here  :)

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1867 on: October 23, 2015, 11:26:19 AM »
Brain teaser - Guess the names of the countries:
1.🚽+any
2. O+👨
3. ☕+na
4. 🎲+a
5. 🚣+s+1⃣+a
6. Uk+☔+e
7. S+💆
8. 🐋+s
9. I 🏃
10. 💊+📌
11. 💪+re+🚗
12. 😡+⛽+🚘
Think outside the box..
Too hard not on whatsapp to see the images.
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Offline David Smith

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1868 on: October 23, 2015, 11:30:40 AM »
Too hard not on whatsapp to see the images.
Why is this in the jokes thread and not in the forum games thread?
Who do you think you are fooling? You think you are going to pull a quick one on your Creator? Good luck with that.
JTZ

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1869 on: October 23, 2015, 11:33:09 AM »
Why is this in the jokes thread and not in the forum games thread?
it's a joke trying to figure out off of whatsapp?
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Offline David Smith

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1870 on: October 23, 2015, 11:33:33 AM »
it's a joke trying to figure out off of whatsapp?
Why don't you move it?
Who do you think you are fooling? You think you are going to pull a quick one on your Creator? Good luck with that.
JTZ

Offline lubaby

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1871 on: October 23, 2015, 11:40:39 AM »
Too hard not on whatsapp to see the images.
See here.

Offline whYME

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1872 on: October 23, 2015, 12:15:09 PM »
I'd say 1, 3, 4, and 7 all are a stretch in terms of converting the emoji into the intended word.
Yup, we need merge this with the "missing word" thread :)

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1873 on: October 23, 2015, 01:15:22 PM »
I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business,patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting

anti-American slogans, with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side, was stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, "Aqbar Allah! Praise Allah!" and took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man...that could have been me!"










So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
I don't get it.  ???

ETA: I forgot I have to think like a Jew. I get it and I guess it is funny.
I just found a new supply of forks!

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1874 on: October 23, 2015, 01:19:49 PM »
I don't get it.  ???
Well you see most people that see people die rethink their life and improve it, which is what the writer wants you to think he will do, but he made a joke and made a twist that he wished he could of killed the muslims so he became a truck driver in hopes of killing other muslims.
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Offline Knaper_Chuchem

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1875 on: October 23, 2015, 01:24:06 PM »
Well you see most people that see people die rethink their life and improve it, which is what the writer wants you to think he will do, but he made a joke and made a twist that he wished he could of killed the muslims so he became a truck driver in hopes of killing other muslims.

“Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.”


― E.B. White

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1876 on: October 23, 2015, 01:26:43 PM »
Well you see most people that see people die rethink their life and improve it, which is what the writer wants you to think he will do, but he made a joke and made a twist that he wished he could of killed the muslims so he became a truck driver in hopes of killing other muslims.
It took a minute but what you said came to me. I have to remember the forum I am on.  ;)
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1877 on: October 23, 2015, 01:27:46 PM »

“Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.”


― E.B. White
Actually it didn't this time. It was funny in the end.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1878 on: October 23, 2015, 02:03:56 PM »
I forgot I have to think like a Jew. I get it and I guess it is funny.
Because you cannot go a day without hearing about random Jews on the street murdering Muslims.... :o
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline grodnoking

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1879 on: October 23, 2015, 02:49:19 PM »
It took a minute but what you said came to me. I have to remember the forum I am on.  ;)

Because you cannot go a day without hearing about random Jews on the street murdering Muslims.... :o
Oh come on guys! Not this thread too!
I'm not who you think I am.