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http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 300587 times)

Offline Knaper_Chuchem

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1875 on: October 23, 2015, 01:24:06 PM »
Well you see most people that see people die rethink their life and improve it, which is what the writer wants you to think he will do, but he made a joke and made a twist that he wished he could of killed the muslims so he became a truck driver in hopes of killing other muslims.

“Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.”


― E.B. White

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1876 on: October 23, 2015, 01:26:43 PM »
Well you see most people that see people die rethink their life and improve it, which is what the writer wants you to think he will do, but he made a joke and made a twist that he wished he could of killed the muslims so he became a truck driver in hopes of killing other muslims.
It took a minute but what you said came to me. I have to remember the forum I am on.  ;)
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1877 on: October 23, 2015, 01:27:46 PM »

“Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.”


― E.B. White
Actually it didn't this time. It was funny in the end.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1878 on: October 23, 2015, 02:03:56 PM »
I forgot I have to think like a Jew. I get it and I guess it is funny.
Because you cannot go a day without hearing about random Jews on the street murdering Muslims.... :o
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used to start a religious discussion.

Offline grodnoking

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1879 on: October 23, 2015, 02:49:19 PM »
It took a minute but what you said came to me. I have to remember the forum I am on.  ;)

Because you cannot go a day without hearing about random Jews on the street murdering Muslims.... :o
Oh come on guys! Not this thread too!
I'm not who you think I am.

Offline ChaimMoskowitz

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1880 on: October 23, 2015, 02:54:50 PM »
Oh come on guys! Not this thread too!
Sorry but I was being serious.
I just found a new supply of forks!

Offline yakrot

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1881 on: October 23, 2015, 03:11:44 PM »
FTFY ( and it's Friday.   This is not gonna be a pretty reaction. )
*face palm*

Offline David Smith

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1882 on: October 23, 2015, 03:19:52 PM »
Who do you think you are fooling? You think you are going to pull a quick one on your Creator? Good luck with that.
JTZ

Offline shoobi

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1883 on: October 24, 2015, 11:42:35 PM »
While we're on emojis, I figured to add this... No deciphering needed though...

Hilarious!!

Offline YOSEF

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1884 on: October 25, 2015, 10:18:12 AM »
Was I the only one who scanned the list of emojiis, saw #8, realized it was Wales, and immediately got turned off from looking at the rest, because it isn't a country as claimed?

Offline AnonymousUser

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1885 on: October 25, 2015, 10:22:59 AM »
Was I the only one who scanned the list of emojiis, saw #8, realized it was Wales, and immediately got turned off from looking at the rest, because it isn't a country as claimed?
Yes.

Offline lubaby

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1886 on: October 25, 2015, 10:35:40 AM »
Was I the only one who scanned the list of emojiis, saw #8, realized it was Wales, and immediately got turned off from looking at the rest, because it isn't a country as claimed?
Yes.
Wikipedia seems to disagree with you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wales
Quote
Wales is a country that is part of the United Kingdom and the island of Great Britain, bordered by England to its east, the Irish Sea to its north and west, and the Bristol Channel to its south.
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Offline grodnoking

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1887 on: October 25, 2015, 11:07:06 AM »
Wales is a country, but not a sovereign state.

There are three related terms that are often confused:
Country: This is traditionally a geographical term, but can also be a political term. A country typically has its own governing structure, symbols such as flags etc.
Nation: This is a cultural/ethnic term. It usually refers to a group of people who share some common culture.
State: This is a geopolitical term for a community of people who live under one government. [Btw.. note the State here is denoted with a capital "S". When it is denoted with a lowercase "s" it means a province - two very different meanings]

Country is more about the physical region; nation is more about the people and their customs; state is more about the government.

When we talk about the government, we need to distinguish between a government that has another government above it and governments that are supreme with nothing above them. If the governments have nothing above them, then the state is termed a sovereign. Only sovereign states are admitted into the UN. Only sovereign states can enter into an agreement with other sovereign states.

In the case of Wales - it is a country and a nation, but not a sovereign state. The Parliament of UK is still the supreme government. It can change the status of Wales anytime. Thus, it cannot be admitted into the UN.

As a country it can have its own sporting teams in the FIFA World Cup and other international leagues. It has its own Parliament that makes the law. It can have its own legal system. But, it is not a geopolitical entity and thus it cannot enter into a treaty with the US or any other sovereign state. It cannot issue its own passport and you would not need a visa to move from an another part of UK.

Here is my simple rule of thumb. If a region can qualify for football World Cup then it is a country. If it can issue its own passports too then it is one step above - a sovereign state.
I'm not who you think I am.

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1888 on: November 05, 2015, 09:52:07 PM »
Two idiots were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first guy declared them to be deer tracks. The second guy disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks. This went back and forth for a while.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Baruch

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #1889 on: November 05, 2015, 10:01:58 PM »
Reb Yankel Miller relates:

The night of his chasuna he made up that he's gonna wake up every morning at 6 AM - yisgaber Ka'ari!

The next morning at 6, he thought to himself - "it's the morning after my chasuna, I'm so tired, I'm excused, I'll wake up at 7."

But the Yetzer Hatov came, and argued, "when you made up 6 AM, you said every morning - you gotta wake up".

The Yetzer Hara argued back.

And back and forth the Yetzer hara and yetzer tov argued.

Finally Reb Yankel told his yitzrim, "go argue in a different room, you're disturbing my sleep, when you come to a reconciliation, wake me up and inform me".

In the end the Yetzer Hatov won!











They fought for 8 hours!
 ;D ;D ;D
« Last Edit: November 05, 2015, 10:31:40 PM by Baruch »
When somebody thanks you for a favor you've done, respond "my pleasure", not "no problem".