Jokes Master Thread

[Zevi16]

I had a friend who saw someone getting shocked from a washing machine, it took him 5 minutes to calm down from laughing so hard just that he can tell me what he saw.
and when I heard that's why he was laughing so hard, I completely melted from laughing.

Honestly, I don't know why I find it so funny, but I am still rolling from reading your post 

I just read this and burst out laughing. 2 years old....

[etech0]

Two kids talking in the playground.

First kid: "My Daddy's an accountant"
Second kid: "Well, my Daddy's a lawyer!"
First kid: "Honest?"
Second kid: "No, the regular type"

[yuneeq]

Who was the first chassidishe rebbe?

Eisav.
He had a fur coat, 400 chassidim, and wanted to kill his brother.

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Who was the first chassidishe rebbe?

Eisav.
He had a fur coat, 400 chassidim, and wanted to kill his brother.

[etech0]

Nu, use the like button!

[Work-for-ur-muny]

[Baruch]

*History class in the year 2100*
Teacher: So, we've finished 2015. On to 2017!
Student: What about 2016?
Teacher: We don't talk about 2016

[yuneeq]

*History class in the year 2100*
Teacher: So, we've finished 2015. On to 2021!
Student: What about 2016-2020?
Teacher: We don't talk about 2016-2020

FTFY

[danrocks613]

Fwd:
One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, "Samsung has had this feature for years".

[ExGingi]

Fwd:
One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, "Samsung has had this feature for years".

ALOL!

What makes this so funny is that it is soooo true. I am probably one of the furthest things one can be from an Apple fan, but I must admit that Apple engineering and QC seems to be on a totally different level than all the rest (especially Samsung - even their dumb phones used to heat up so much more than any other...)

Full Disclosure: I now use an iPhone, and while I dislike a lot about it, the engineering is simply better.

[mmgfarb]

ALOL!

+1

[Centro]

Fwd:
One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, "Samsung has had this feature for years".

I actually laughed out loud.

[shulem92]

ALOL!

I actually laughed out loud.

U do realize that ALOL = Actually Laughed Out Loud

[JTZ]

Fwd:
One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, "Samsung has had this feature for years".

Finally a joke that makes sense.

[Centro]

U do realize that ALOL = Actually Laughed Out Loud

U do realize that lol means laughed out loud, so why the need for ALOL? Because lol doesn't really mean that you actually laughed out loud, same goes to Alol...

[Work-for-ur-muny]

U do realize that lol means laughed out loud, so why the need for ALOL? Because lol doesn't really mean that you actually laughed out loud, same goes to Alol...

So I will now introduce the all new AALOL. 

[yochiek93]

So I will now introduce the all new AALOL. 

Wiki it

[Work-for-ur-muny]

Wiki it

Yea, but I don't know how many will get the amkus if not in context.

[Baruch]

So I will now introduce the all new AALOL. 

Wikified

[shulem92]

U do realize that lol means laughed out loud, so why the need for ALOL? Because lol doesn't really mean that you actually laughed out loud, same goes to Alol...

Lol became a standard response, like ha. Along came alol, which means that u actually laughed out loud. Why do u say that that too lost its literal meaning?