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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 303979 times)

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2400 on: June 04, 2019, 05:02:25 PM »
A Man comes home to find his wife de-cluttering the house. "What is this?", he asks her. "There is this new method for de-cluttering the house, it's called Marie Kondo", she replied. "How does it work?", asked her husband. "Simple," replies the wife, " if something doesn't bring you joy, you get rid of it. Why don't you try it?"

The husband smiled and says okay, and then picks up the wife an puts her out on the front porch.

Offline ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2401 on: June 04, 2019, 07:23:26 PM »
Thirty seconds? Wow, you type fast!  :P
ROTFALOL

Offline wayfe

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2402 on: June 11, 2019, 08:20:29 AM »
My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home.
I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline chief_mag

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2403 on: June 11, 2019, 10:44:15 AM »
I just scored 177 on an online IQ Test! All I had to do was answer three questions correctly.

1. My CC Number
2. A copy of my birth certificate
3. My SSN


They're shipping my certificate from Nigeria next week. Can't wait to show off!
« Last Edit: June 11, 2019, 10:49:07 AM by chief_mag »

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2404 on: June 11, 2019, 01:25:24 PM »
I just scored 177 on an online IQ Test! All I had to do was answer three questions correctly.

1. My CC Number
2. A copy of my birth certificate
3. My SSN


They're shipping my certificate from Nigeria next week. Can't wait to show off!
I wouldn’t be so proud if I was you. 177 in Nigerian equals 6.5 in American.  ;)

Offline gingyguy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2405 on: June 11, 2019, 01:30:20 PM »
I wouldn’t be so proud if I was you. 177 in Nigerian equals 6.5 in American.  ;)
way to burst his bubble!
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2406 on: June 11, 2019, 02:40:37 PM »
A husband and wife are reviewing a draft of their will from their attorney. The wife turns to the husband and says:

"Honey, if I do die before you, would you re-marry?"

The husband thinks about it, and replies - " I don't know. I mean if you died young, after a while I'd be lonely, and you wouldn't want me to be lonely?"

"I guess not, " replied the wife, " but if you did, would you still live in the same house?"

The husband thinks about it, and replies - "I can't see why not, I mean, it's a great location and an amazing house. After all of the work put in, I wouldn't want to sell it."

The Wife thinks a bit more - "What about my Golf clubs, would you let her use those?"

"Of course not, " replies the husband, " it won't work, she's left-handed"

Offline ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2407 on: June 14, 2019, 12:19:03 AM »
here is a little known fact
known fact

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2408 on: June 14, 2019, 10:29:35 AM »
and here is a brownie

E
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline username

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2409 on: June 14, 2019, 11:09:14 AM »
and here is a brownie

E
Looks red to me. and yes, i see the code.
^^^

Offline wayfe

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2410 on: June 14, 2019, 11:46:42 AM »
Along that vein...

"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
— Richard Feynman

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2411 on: June 14, 2019, 12:41:58 PM »
Looks red to me. and yes, i see the code.
me too. Couldn't figure out a way to choose a different shade of brown though.
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Luvtotravel

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2412 on: June 14, 2019, 12:43:29 PM »
Along that vein...
took me a moment there
Don't wait for the perfect moment; take the moment and make it perfect.

Offline username

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2413 on: June 14, 2019, 12:58:19 PM »
and here is a brownie

E

FTFY

Brown E
Saddle Brown E
« Last Edit: June 14, 2019, 01:07:40 PM by username »
^^^

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2414 on: June 14, 2019, 01:42:44 PM »
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.