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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 375413 times)

Offline pointer

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2520 on: March 13, 2020, 01:02:42 AM »
There was a Yekke who came late for Mincha and he missed Ashrei.
Don't worry he made it for for Yoshvei.

Offline ltttc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2521 on: March 13, 2020, 10:40:12 AM »
Yankel was speeding and passed a red light. A cop pulled him over and requested license/registration. Not being able to afford any points, Yankel quickly forces an ugly sneeze onto his license and hands it to the cop. The cop quickly tells Yankel to go just this once and drive safely
« Last Edit: March 13, 2020, 11:04:28 AM by ltttc »

Offline chinagel

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2522 on: March 15, 2020, 11:39:39 AM »
There was a Yekke who came late for Mincha and he missed Ashrei.
Don't worry he made it for for Yoshvei.
On that note, the Gabbai in a Yekke Shul once came by yoshvei. When he went around with the puske during chazaras hashatz, all the quarters fell on the floor.

Offline ltttc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2523 on: March 30, 2020, 12:48:37 PM »
Boy aged 4: "Dad, I've decided to get married."
Dad: "Wonderful! Do you have a girl in mind?"
Boy: "Yes...grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too...and she's the best cook and storyteller in the whole world!!!"
Dad: "That's nice, but we have a small problem there..."
Boy: "What problem?"
Dad: " She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother??"
Boy : Why not?! You married mine!!!"

Offline ltttc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2524 on: March 31, 2020, 07:06:23 PM »
"My husband got on my nerves today, so I poured some water next to the washing machine, and for two hours now it has been quiet as he tries to figure out where the problem is coming from.

Offline stooges44

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2525 on: April 01, 2020, 11:36:24 AM »
Try it seriously dont cheat its amazing
ALL MUST TRY!!!!!!! ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

(I love this part..
It's absolutely amazing!)

Count every " F " in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)


HOW MANY ?

3....4....






WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.


The reasoning behind is further down.





The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.

Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy!!:
Good isn't it.. 👍
If it's not free shipping it's not worth it.

Offline ltttc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2526 on: April 01, 2020, 01:10:58 PM »
Stepped on my scale this morning and it said: Please use social distancing, one person at a time.

Offline ltttc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2527 on: April 04, 2020, 09:45:30 PM »
Anyone else starting to get a tan from the light in the fridge?!

Offline Yehudaa

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2528 on: April 22, 2020, 09:34:46 PM »
"I find that Zoom weddings seem to go quickly."

-a friend of mine
« Last Edit: April 22, 2020, 09:41:18 PM by Yehudaa »

Offline ltttc

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2529 on: April 27, 2020, 10:10:07 PM »
I'm not a very good sleeper.
But you know what? I'm willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That's just the kind of hard worker I am.

Online Davidthebest

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2530 on: April 28, 2020, 03:58:26 PM »
KARS 4 KIDS is a total scam!!!

I just called them offered them 1 of my kids and they wouldn't give me a car

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2531 on: April 28, 2020, 04:40:28 PM »
KARS 4 KIDS is a total scam!!!

I just called them offered them 1 of my kids and they wouldn't give me a car

That was once one of their April Fool's day jokes. They changed their jingle to Kids for Kars. "You get a free vacation with every kid you trade in to us, where to - no where, being home without your kids is the vacation".

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2532 on: April 28, 2020, 04:48:56 PM »
That was once one of their April Fool's day jokes. They changed their jingle to Kids for Kars. "You get a free vacation with every kid you trade in to us, where to - no where, being home without your kids is the vacation".
There was a cute website too
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline lubaby

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2533 on: April 28, 2020, 08:37:42 PM »
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2534 on: April 28, 2020, 08:39:42 PM »
Itís still up.

http://kids4kars.org/
Nice! I went looking for it once and couldn't find, I wonder if it went down and back up.
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.