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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 436992 times)

Offline joe1234

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2560 on: August 11, 2020, 03:01:17 PM »
The other guy remembered the story
what story?...

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2561 on: August 11, 2020, 03:29:56 PM »
Iím Joe Biden and I approve this message.
Monkeys don't fly unless you put them on airplanes

Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2562 on: August 11, 2020, 04:37:54 PM »
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Yo ssi

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2563 on: August 14, 2020, 01:02:30 AM »
This chassid won $3 million on the lottery last weekend so he decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now he has $2,999,999.75.

Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2564 on: August 14, 2020, 02:24:17 AM »
This chassid won $3 million on the lottery last weekend so he decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now he has $2,999,999.75.
Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2565 on: August 14, 2020, 02:37:24 AM »
Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.

Neither.

Most likely match would be an extreme left wing progressive.

Joke would be great if you put AOC in there. Just try it and post on Social Media and see how many likes you get and how viral it would go.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2020, 02:40:45 AM by ExGingi »
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2566 on: August 14, 2020, 06:56:21 AM »
Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.
+1
I'm going crazy, wanna come along?

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2567 on: August 14, 2020, 08:19:41 AM »
Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.
I'm sure that all of those coming from EY to raise money and do better in Lakewood than anywhere else will back that one up. I am on @ExGingi 's side here. Bringing in chasidim or litvaks is nothing but vile sinas chinam. Shame on all of you!
« Last Edit: August 14, 2020, 08:33:22 AM by aygart »
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline pointer

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2568 on: August 14, 2020, 08:26:45 AM »
Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.
Neither.

Most likely match would be an extreme left wing progressive.

Joke would be great if you put AOC in there. Just try it and post on Social Media and see how many likes you get and how viral it would go.
I'm sure that all of those coming from EY to raise money and do better in Lakewood than anywhere else will back that one up. I am on @ExGingi 's side here. Bringing in chasidim or litvaks is nothing but vile sinas chinam. Shame on all 3 of you!
I think you guys got it all wrong.

The joke has nothing to do with anyone being stingy.
It is all about Chasidim not knowing their math and English properly.

Offline ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2569 on: August 14, 2020, 08:33:54 AM »
I think you guys got it all wrong.

The joke has nothing to do with anyone being stingy.
It is all about Chasidim not knowing their math and English properly.
Don't know if chasidim know there math or not (that's not true, I'm probably better at math then you are even though I didn't learn it properly in cheider/school!) But what I see is that there is more wealthy people by the chasidim then by the litvish community!!
I'm going crazy, wanna come along?

Offline pointer

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2570 on: August 14, 2020, 08:37:48 AM »
Don't know if chasidim know there math or not (that's not true, I'm probably better at math then you are even though I didn't learn it properly in cheider/school!) But what I see is that there is more wealthy people by the chasidim then by the litvish community!!
Whatever. I don't want to hijack the thread.

Offline ExGingi

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2571 on: August 14, 2020, 08:38:39 AM »
I think you guys got it all wrong.

The joke has nothing to do with anyone being stingy.
It is all about Chasidim not knowing their math and English properly.

IDK. Seems like many are doing perfectly well in business. Might have been a joke if you gave an example of giving way more than it makes sense mathematically.
I've been waiting over 5 years with bated breath for someone to say that!
-- Dan

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2572 on: August 14, 2020, 08:44:16 AM »
Don't know if chasidim know there math or not (that's not true, I'm probably better at math then you are even though I didn't learn it properly in cheider/school!) But what I see is that there is more wealthy people by the chasidim then by the litvish community!!
Is this supposed to be an example your your superior math skills?
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline pointer

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2573 on: August 14, 2020, 08:45:16 AM »
IDK. Seems like many are doing perfectly well in business.
That is not the discussion.

The fact still stands (as a general rule, of course there are lots of acceptions).

But hey! as the Satmer rabbi once said to his chasid who was looking to get educated and go into accounting, "Why be busy with other peoples money, You make the money, and let others be busy with it"

Offline aygart

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2574 on: August 14, 2020, 08:48:34 AM »
IDK. Seems like many are doing perfectly well in business. Might have been a joke if you gave an example of giving way more than it makes sense mathematically.

אין הברכה מצוי' אלא בדבר הסמוי מן העין
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline yuneeq

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2575 on: August 14, 2020, 09:04:12 AM »
אין הברכה מצוי' אלא בדבר הסמוי מן העין

Once this thread is hijacked already, I always wondered does this statement apply to a bank account? The original context is that you shouldnít count how much fruit you have so the bracha should apply to it. But a bank account is already quantified, not looking at the numbers doesnít change anything.

Offline Yo ssi

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2576 on: August 14, 2020, 09:19:01 AM »
With all this discussion and not even one like on the joke! Talking about being stingy 😉

Offline joe1234

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2577 on: August 14, 2020, 09:20:55 AM »
With all this discussion and not even one like on the joke! Talking about being stingy 😉
at least i liked this post. lol

Offline Lurker

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2578 on: August 14, 2020, 10:01:21 AM »
Clean up on aisle 5. This is disgusting.
Failing at maintaining Lurker status.

Offline YitzyS

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Monkeys don't fly unless you put them on airplanes