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If you actually laugh out loud, write AALOL

http://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=344.msg1561282#msg1561282
« Last edited by Baruch on September 18, 2016, 09:14:18 PM »

Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 415417 times)

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2550 on: July 16, 2020, 01:14:41 PM »
A cop notices a man driving solo in the HOV lane, and pulls him over. "Sir," he says to the driver, " you do realize that this is an HOV lane, and you need to have at least one other passenger in the car?"

"But officer, I do!" replied the driver, " we're trying to observe social distancing so he's riding in the car behind me".

Online etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2551 on: July 16, 2020, 01:18:06 PM »
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2552 on: July 16, 2020, 03:33:09 PM »



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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2553 on: August 02, 2020, 09:35:03 AM »
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked.
“Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”
Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”

Offline Yonah

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2554 on: August 10, 2020, 09:39:44 PM »
Cohen is shipwrecked and washes ashore on a small island. After exploring for signs of life, he comes across a small village of 3 huts - including two with Stars of David on their entrances. He calls out, and lo and behold, another Jewish man walks out. He explains to Cohen that he was also shipwrecked and wanted to build a proper jewish community on the Island. Cohen asks him - "What's up with the huts?"

"Well", says the man, " the first building, without the start of David is my house; the one on the left, is the shul that I go to."

"What about the one on the right?" asks Cohen, alluding to the other building with the star of david, " Is that the Mikvah? Yeshiva?"

"No," replies the other man, "that's the shul I won't set foot in"

Offline joe1234

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2555 on: August 10, 2020, 10:01:44 PM »
Cohen is shipwrecked and washes ashore on a small island. After exploring for signs of life, he comes across a small village of 3 huts - including two with Stars of David on their entrances. He calls out, and lo and behold, another Jewish man walks out. He explains to Cohen that he was also shipwrecked and wanted to build a proper jewish community on the Island. Cohen asks him - "What's up with the huts?"

"Well", says the man, " the first building, without the start of David is my house; the one on the left, is the shul that I go to."

"What about the one on the right?" asks Cohen, alluding to the other building with the star of david, " Is that the Mikvah? Yeshiva?"

"No," replies the other man, "that's the shul I won't set foot in"
Did he end up getting saved??

P.s. I must’ve missed the boat..

Online etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2556 on: August 10, 2020, 10:03:44 PM »
Did he end up getting saved??

P.s. I must’ve missed the boat..
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Online Euclid

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2557 on: August 11, 2020, 12:37:34 AM »
Did he end up getting saved??

P.s. I must’ve missed the boat..
He obviously did. How else do we know this story?

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2558 on: August 11, 2020, 09:41:01 AM »
He obviously did. How else do we know this story?
The other guy remembered the story
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline lcm

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2559 on: August 11, 2020, 11:16:14 AM »

Offline joe1234

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2560 on: August 11, 2020, 03:01:17 PM »
The other guy remembered the story
what story?...

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2561 on: August 11, 2020, 03:29:56 PM »
I’m Joe Biden and I approve this message.

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2562 on: August 11, 2020, 04:37:54 PM »
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline Yo ssi

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2563 on: August 14, 2020, 01:02:30 AM »
This chassid won $3 million on the lottery last weekend so he decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now he has $2,999,999.75.

Offline SuperFlyer

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2564 on: August 14, 2020, 02:24:17 AM »
This chassid won $3 million on the lottery last weekend so he decided to donate a quarter to charity. Now he has $2,999,999.75.
Chassidim are usually generous, so the word litvak is probably more appropriate.