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Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 714651 times)

Offline bestwatchman

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2680 on: November 25, 2020, 08:41:09 PM »
There was once an aguda convention in Israel over Thanksgiving. The American rabbis told the Israeli rabanim that on the American Thanksgiving we do kriyas hatorah every year, the Israelis went ballistic.  (They didn't understand its always on Thursday)
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Offline yesitsme

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2681 on: November 26, 2020, 07:29:02 AM »
הגננת מספרת לילדות בגן כמה קשה היה בזמן אנטיוכוס הרשע...
הרומאים סגרו את כל הישיבות ואת התלמודי תורה...

"אז מה הבעיה???"
קופצת ילדה ממקומה,
שילמדו ב'זום'...😝
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Offline yitzgar

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2682 on: November 26, 2020, 09:06:17 AM »
It was the greeks not the romans
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Online YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2683 on: November 26, 2020, 09:34:14 AM »
Quote from: yitzgar on November 26, 2020, 09:06:17 AM
It was the greeks not the romans
Oh, you live in Cleveland? Do you know my friend? He lives in Detroit.
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Online skyguy918

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2684 on: November 26, 2020, 10:39:09 AM »
Quote from: yitzgar on November 26, 2020, 09:06:17 AM
It was the greeks not the romans
Even Greeks is a mistranslation. Hellenists or Seleucids is better, or Syrian-Greeks maybe.
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Online ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2685 on: November 26, 2020, 05:24:22 PM »
A doughnut a day keeps the ? ? ? away

What do you think belongs in there?
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Offline yeshivabucher

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2686 on: November 26, 2020, 05:32:57 PM »
Quote from: ~King Lake~ on November 26, 2020, 05:24:22 PM
A doughnut a day keeps the six pack away

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Online TimT

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2687 on: November 26, 2020, 06:34:54 PM »
Quote from: ~King Lake~ on November 26, 2020, 05:24:22 PM
A doughnut a day keeps the ? ? ? away

What do you think belongs in there?
Certainly not cops
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Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2688 on: November 26, 2020, 06:58:24 PM »
Keeps the belt buckle far away
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״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Online ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2689 on: November 26, 2020, 08:31:35 PM »
Quote from: ~King Lake~ on November 26, 2020, 05:24:22 PM
A doughnut a day keeps the cravings away

What do you think belongs in there?
I'd put it this way 👆
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Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2690 on: November 26, 2020, 08:37:36 PM »
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Online ~King Lake~

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2691 on: November 26, 2020, 08:38:38 PM »
Quote from: etech0 on November 26, 2020, 08:37:36 PM
disagree
At how much would you agree?
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Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2692 on: November 26, 2020, 08:54:41 PM »
Quote from: ~King Lake~ on November 26, 2020, 08:38:38 PM
At how much would you agree?
Depends how big they are and what's inside / on top and how many you ate yesterday
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Offline Kobe Bryant

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2693 on: November 27, 2020, 09:14:39 AM »
‏בעולם הישיבות שואלים למה יעקב לא אמר ללבן שהתרפים קמו וברחו איתו יחד, כמו שאברהם אמר לתרח שהפסילים קמו והיכו זה את זה?

אלא שאת השקרים שאתה מוכר לאבא שלך - אתה לא יכול למכור לשווער
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Offline etech0

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2694 on: November 27, 2020, 09:15:50 AM »
Quote from: Kobe Bryant on November 27, 2020, 09:14:39 AM
‏בעולם הישיבות שואלים למה יעקב לא אמר ללבן שהתרפים קמו וברחו איתו יחד, כמו שאברהם אמר לתרח שהפסילים קמו והיכו זה את זה?

אלא שאת השקרים שאתה מוכר לאבא שלך - אתה לא יכול למכור לשווער
Quote
In the yeshiva world, people ask why Yaakov did not tell Laban that the therapists got up and fled with him, just as Avraham told Terah that the psalms got up and beat each other?

But the lies you sell to your father - you can not sell to the gate
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Offline Kobe Bryant

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2695 on: November 27, 2020, 09:18:05 AM »
Quote from: etech0 on November 27, 2020, 09:15:50 AM

Many a people were killed in the olden days because of translators.
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Offline cholent

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2696 on: November 27, 2020, 09:44:12 AM »
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Online Mordyk

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2697 on: November 27, 2020, 10:14:01 AM »
Quote from: ~King Lake~ on November 26, 2020, 05:24:22 PM
A doughnut a day keeps the all the pants in my closet that i don't get rid of because i will lose weight and it will fit again away

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#TYH

Offline Lurker

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2698 on: November 27, 2020, 10:42:52 AM »
Quote from: Mordyk on November 27, 2020, 10:14:01 AM


You have those, too? I have more clothes I'd like to fit into than clothes I can actually wear.
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Online YitzyS

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Re: Jokes Master Thread
« Reply #2699 on: November 27, 2020, 10:44:42 AM »
I find it pathetic that a whole group of DDFers seem to believe that one needs a REASON to eat a donut
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