NO NURSING HOME FOR US!!
No nursing home for us. We ' ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing £188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I ' ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.
For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it ' s £59.23 per night.
Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves £128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
£5 worth of tips a day you ' ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There ' s a bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
While you ' re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you ' re not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Scotland ? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they ' ll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, NHS will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grandkids can use the pool.
What more could I ask for?
So, when I reach that golden age, I ' ll face it with a grin.
AIDS WARNING!
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this email is especially for you......
SENIOR CITIZENS
ARE THE NATION ' S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)