Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 705401 times)

Offline PlatinumGuy

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he's saying that when the automatic toilet flushes b4 ur done its fine but when the toaster pops out the bread b4 its done its like excuse me but I'm not done yet get back in there
A bit late but nevertheless I was referring to the bidets (Park Hyatt has them). The automatic flush isn't the problem, it's a b*** toaster and can be very difficult to turn off.
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Offline PlatinumGuy

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An "alter" yeshiva bachur:
אחת שאלתי מאת ה' !!! אותה אבקש! ואם לא .שבתי בבית השם כל ימי חיי
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Offline whacked1

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An "alter" yeshiva bachur:
אחת שאלתי מאת ה' !!! אותה אבקש! ואם לא .שבתי בבית השם כל ימי חיי
:) cute

Offline smurf

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1,000,000 people attended President Obama's inauguration. Only 13 missed work.

Offline U-no-me!

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1,000,000 people attended President Obama's inauguration. Only 13 missed work.

Cute...

1,000,000 people attended President Obama's inauguration, they all showed up to work.
Vote U-no-me '14!

Offline noturbizniss

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two blondes were walking in the woods and they came across some tracks.  They began to argue whether they were bear tracks or fox tracks. The argued for some time and were close reaching an answer when they got hit by a train.
READ THE DARN WIKI!!!!

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...READS THE WIKI!!!

Offline noturbizniss

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says why the long face?
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The horse says i just lost my job.
:P





READ THE DARN WIKI!!!!

Chuck Norris...
...can still do FT method
...READS THE WIKI!!!

Offline noturbizniss

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A guy walks into a bar.                   OUCH!
READ THE DARN WIKI!!!!

Chuck Norris...
...can still do FT method
...READS THE WIKI!!!

Online jj1000

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A Jew walks into a bar to buy a drink.
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He buys the bar.

 ::) Yet to hear a funny walked into a bar joke...
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Offline Moishebatchy

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A man walked into a flower shop. "I'd like some flowers, please."

"Certainly, sir. What did you have in mind?"

He shrugged. "Well, uh, I'm not sure, ah, I uh..."

The clerk interrupted. "Maybe I can help... what exactly did you do wrong?"

Offline noturbizniss

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A man walked into a flower shop. "I'd like some flowers, please."

"Certainly, sir. What did you have in mind?"

He shrugged. "Well, uh, I'm not sure, ah, I uh..."

The clerk interrupted. "Maybe I can help... what exactly did you do wrong?"
::)
READ THE DARN WIKI!!!!

Chuck Norris...
...can still do FT method
...READS THE WIKI!!!

Offline PlatinumGuy

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The best ad of the Super Bowl? The 30 minute ad for modernizing our nation's power grid.
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Online jj1000

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The best ad of the Super Bowl? The 30 minute ad for modernizing our nation's power grid.
LIKE!
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Offline Dan

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"In a shocking twist, rich people are trapped in the super dome"

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Offline Dan

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"Congrats if you had 34 minutes for the power outage in your Super Bowl prop bet."
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline PlatinumGuy

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'The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.' -Phyllis Diller"
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Offline yuneeq

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Why do women have small feet?


So they can stand closer to the sink.
Visibly Jewish

Online jj1000

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Why do women have small feet?


So they can stand closer to the sink.
Small feet=closer to sink? ???
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Offline Moshe123

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Israelis are faced multiple times a day with a critical decision, "Chatzi meichal" or "Meichal malei".

Offline Moishebatchy

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Israelis are faced multiple times a day with a critical decision, "Chatzi meichal" or "Meichal malei".

ALOL!!! ;D