Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread  (Read 715133 times)

Offline Cholentfresser

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this is getting a little stupid, IMHO.
In order to understand recursion, you first need to understand recursion.

Offline moish

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this is getting a little stupid, IMHO.
you still dont get it?

Offline Cholentfresser

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lol, its the oldest joke in the book, its been around before the dead sea got sick...
In order to understand recursion, you first need to understand recursion.

Offline YOSEF

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Who says it got sick?
Maybe someone shot it dead?

Offline Cholentfresser

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Who says it got sick?
Maybe someone shot it dead?
well, obviously you weren't around then.
In order to understand recursion, you first need to understand recursion.

Offline Yaalili

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A pencil has the potential to draw a line 38 miles long.

Offline moish

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A pencil has the potential to draw a line 38 miles long.
is that supposed to be a joke?

Offline Yaalili

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is that supposed to be a joke?

More of like a snapple-fact kind of joke.

Offline Yaalili

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A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh ... I know what you've been doing."

Offline Cholentfresser

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that was yesterday's joke on 1saleaday...funny indeed;)
In order to understand recursion, you first need to understand recursion.

Offline regalhome

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NEW YORK - In an unusual display of unity, leaders of five Chasidic groups
today issued a joint statement in support of proposed state legislation to
allow same-sects marriages.
The groups represented were Belz, Pupa, Saatmar, Bobov, and Lubavitch.
 "Of course we want same-sects marriages," said Rabbi Wurzma Shtreimel, head
of the Belz movement. "A Belzer should marry only a Belzer. That makes
perfect sense."
 The other rabbis agreed.
 "If a Saatmar weds a Bobover, woe to their offspring," proclaimed Rabbi
Praymita Gartel of Saatmar. "What would their children be-Saatovers?? That's
totally unheard of."
 The rabbis shared concerns about the dilution of their individual groups
through intersect marriages.
 "The Tanya warns us," said Rabbi Mendy Pantz of Lubavitch. "If a
Lubavitcher marries outside his sect, his children lose half their heritage.
His son is not Lubavitch, just Vitch. And his grandson becomes a son of a
Vitch." At a separate news conference, Chasidic women expressed similar
concerns.
 "It's less confusing when our kind marry their own kind," said Rebbetzin
Donna Kittel, founder of a Pupa women's group, The Mamas and the Pupas.
 To prevent intersect marriages, Belz rebbetzin Gitta Kapotah announced the
formation of a new community matchmaking service, Wedding Belz.
 "We must protect our Belz," she said. "They're our family
jewels." Contacted by Mr. Richard Feder of Ft. Lee, N.J., Rebbetzin Emily
Littella of Bobov asked: "What's all this I hear about same-sox marriage?

Offline Cholentfresser

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NEW YORK - In an unusual display of unity, leaders of five Chasidic groups
today issued a joint statement in support of proposed state legislation to
allow same-sects marriages.
The groups represented were Belz, Pupa, Saatmar, Bobov, and Lubavitch.
 "Of course we want same-sects marriages," said Rabbi Wurzma Shtreimel, head
of the Belz movement. "A Belzer should marry only a Belzer. That makes
perfect sense."
 The other rabbis agreed.
 "If a Saatmar weds a Bobover, woe to their offspring," proclaimed Rabbi
Praymita Gartel of Saatmar. "What would their children be-Saatovers?? That's
totally unheard of."
 The rabbis shared concerns about the dilution of their individual groups
through intersect marriages.
 "The Tanya warns us," said Rabbi Mendy Pantz of Lubavitch. "If a
Lubavitcher marries outside his sect, his children lose half their heritage.
His son is not Lubavitch, just Vitch. And his grandson becomes a son of a
Vitch." At a separate news conference, Chasidic women expressed similar
concerns.
 "It's less confusing when our kind marry their own kind," said Rebbetzin
Donna Kittel, founder of a Pupa women's group, The Mamas and the Pupas.
 To prevent intersect marriages, Belz rebbetzin Gitta Kapotah announced the
formation of a new community matchmaking service, Wedding Belz.
 "We must protect our Belz," she said. "They're our family
jewels." Contacted by Mr. Richard Feder of Ft. Lee, N.J., Rebbetzin Emily
Littella of Bobov asked: "What's all this I hear about same-sox marriage?
Lol
In order to understand recursion, you first need to understand recursion.

Offline Avid Reader

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NEW YORK - In an unusual display of unity, leaders of five Chasidic groups
today issued a joint statement in support of proposed state legislation to
allow same-sects marriages.
The groups represented were Belz, Pupa, Saatmar, Bobov, and Lubavitch.
 "Of course we want same-sects marriages," said Rabbi Wurzma Shtreimel, head
of the Belz movement. "A Belzer should marry only a Belzer. That makes
perfect sense."
 The other rabbis agreed.
 "If a Saatmar weds a Bobover, woe to their offspring," proclaimed Rabbi
Praymita Gartel of Saatmar. "What would their children be-Saatovers?? That's
totally unheard of."
 The rabbis shared concerns about the dilution of their individual groups
through intersect marriages.
 "The Tanya warns us," said Rabbi Mendy Pantz of Lubavitch. "If a
Lubavitcher marries outside his sect, his children lose half their heritage.
His son is not Lubavitch, just Vitch. And his grandson becomes a son of a
Vitch." At a separate news conference, Chasidic women expressed similar
concerns.
 "It's less confusing when our kind marry their own kind," said Rebbetzin
Donna Kittel, founder of a Pupa women's group, The Mamas and the Pupas.
 To prevent intersect marriages, Belz rebbetzin Gitta Kapotah announced the
formation of a new community matchmaking service, Wedding Belz.
 "We must protect our Belz," she said. "They're our family
jewels." Contacted by Mr. Richard Feder of Ft. Lee, N.J., Rebbetzin Emily
Littella of Bobov asked: "What's all this I hear about same-sox marriage?
Lol...

Offline Q274

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behind every great man
is a woman rolling her eyes

Offline jj1000

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  • Location: The value of a forum such as this one is not in that one can post a question and receive an answer, but in that the question has most likely been asked before, and the answer is available to him that will but only use the search function.
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Offline whYME

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Your dog's barking at the back door. Your wife's barking at the front.
Who do you let in?


Well, it's your call... but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.

Offline SuperFlyer

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A woman goes to see her Rabbi and asks, “Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?”
 
The wise old Rabbi answers, “Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one.

Offline SuperFlyer

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5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN! (1) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut up. (2) NOTHING: means something & you need to be worried. (3) GO AHEAD: this is a dare, not permission , do not do it. (4) WHATEVER: A woman's way of saying screw you. (5) THAT'S OK: She is thinking long & hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake...

Offline Avid Reader

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ROFL!

Where did you pick this one up?

Offline SuperFlyer

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From a married man obviously.