Getting off topic here but yeah we all have challenges. My older brother is a very respected Rav and my father always says / said that I have higher potential. But I'm just not a saint.
Did I waste my life in that aspect? I'm not sure.. thought I heard stories of various Jewish leaders who overcame many challenges etc..
I'd actually understand and respect a Jewish leader who comes clean and said "chatasi" the evil inclination got the better of me and I sinned.
Him I would I respect.
The greater the man, the greater the evil inclination works.
The story of Yehuda and Tamar is a constant reminder and from them came David.
And let's not be foolish, Ruth and Boaz was hardly your chareidi coupling.. even I wouldn't sleep with some random woman by my bed!
But side issue is where these rabbi's treated underage molestation as just a taiva.
Anyways, so far off topic.