Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread  (Read 229581 times)

Online Something Fishy

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1060 on: January 04, 2023, 01:26:36 PM »
Why isn't there a new pope yet?

Because they haven't found the appopriate person yet.
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Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1061 on: January 04, 2023, 01:39:58 PM »
Why isn't there a new pope yet?

Because they haven't found the appopriate person yet.

Post this in a different thread and I'd guess many would think you were making a statement of fact.

Offline mevinyavin

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1062 on: January 06, 2023, 04:38:15 AM »


Next post will be someone else's pun spelling it "kup."
Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1063 on: February 03, 2023, 12:00:53 AM »
check these out
Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things
BIG PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS.

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1064 on: February 03, 2023, 12:13:14 AM »
check these out

How do you say מן in English? Taster's choice.

Offline drosenberg88429

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1065 on: February 03, 2023, 12:19:54 AM »
I'm not sure what a cache is, but I always clear out all the cookies. Doesn't make my kids very happy though.

Your kids don't clear out your cache?!?

Offline yungermanchik

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1067 on: February 05, 2023, 06:20:33 AM »


Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1068 on: February 09, 2023, 11:16:25 PM »
There's a story about a child psychology professor who was always preaching how you have to love children no matter what. He was once redoing his sidewalk and a toddler walked on the wet pavement. He began to beat him. When a student passed by and challeged him for acting contrary to his teachings, he replied
I love them in the abstract, but not in the CONCRETE!

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1069 on: February 10, 2023, 03:14:04 AM »


Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1070 on: February 15, 2023, 10:02:17 AM »
They have Mac and Cheese for $22. It’s  whatever the consumer will swallow.
Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline yungermanchik

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1071 on: February 16, 2023, 02:17:27 PM »
But seriously, was there an issue with Kain? Why are we trying to push him out?
(Because we're Abel to)
Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things
BIG PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS.

Offline joe1234

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1072 on: February 16, 2023, 05:55:16 PM »

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1073 on: February 18, 2023, 02:03:34 PM »
Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline yfr bachur

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1074 on: February 19, 2023, 05:10:10 AM »
My original and favorite

Why is the bracha on Cake and Cookies "Borei Mini Mezonos"?
To remind you that it's only the bracha for a small portion, a lot will be Hamotzie

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1075 on: February 19, 2023, 09:24:44 AM »
My son (6) holding up what is left of his pizza, "this is a shalom of pizza."
"What? A shalom?"
"Yes. Shalom is peace. This is a shalom of pizza."


Offline Euclid

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1076 on: February 19, 2023, 09:31:05 AM »
My son (6) holding up what is left of his pizza, "this is a shalom of pizza."
"What? A shalom?"
"Yes. Shalom is peace. This is a shalom of pizza."


confusing when shaleim means whole and shalom means piece

Offline Yehuda57

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1077 on: February 19, 2023, 09:31:43 AM »
confusing when shaleim means whole and shalom means piece

He's ahead on the piece process reality

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1078 on: February 20, 2023, 04:25:15 AM »
Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline Yehuda57

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