Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread  (Read 54826 times)

Offline Randomex

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #260 on: February 16, 2021, 04:14:26 PM »


And on that note, what's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? A weasel is
weasily recognized, and a stoat is stoatally different (that might work better spoken).
If I find a dead deer, I don't have to fight a bear for it. I don't even have to eat it if I don't want to.

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #261 on: February 17, 2021, 12:50:16 AM »
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Friend sends along: &quot;Just read an amazing account of a 13th-Century siege. The attackers killed the duke's son, knocking him from the battlements with a peasant's severed head fired from a trebuchet, the first recorded instance of a serf-face-to-heir missile.&quot;</p>&mdash; Olivier Knox (@OKnox) <a href="?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 16, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>[/size]

Offline NTorch

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #262 on: February 17, 2021, 09:00:53 AM »



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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #263 on: February 18, 2021, 07:26:58 AM »


Monkeys don't fly unless you put them on airplanes

Offline NTorch

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #264 on: February 18, 2021, 09:41:32 AM »



Offline Something Fishy

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #265 on: February 18, 2021, 10:21:29 AM »
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?






The people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but the ones in Abu Dhabi do.
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Offline Something Fishy

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #266 on: February 18, 2021, 10:22:19 AM »
(Pretty certain that was posted somewhere on DDF in the past, but I can't find it (maybe it was an image?))
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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #267 on: February 18, 2021, 08:35:19 PM »


Monkeys don't fly unless you put them on airplanes

Online Euclid

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #268 on: February 18, 2021, 08:41:47 PM »

Wow that's huge - whoever takes it will be crowned king?

Offline lcm

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #269 on: February 18, 2021, 09:49:39 PM »
Wow that's huge - whoever takes it will be crowned king?
If you take it to the right then you'll be a chossid

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #270 on: February 19, 2021, 12:37:25 AM »

Offline Something Fishy

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #271 on: February 19, 2021, 12:42:40 AM »

More like Hoomin Poopin
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Offline S209

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #272 on: February 19, 2021, 01:53:11 AM »
After being accused of stealing the Royal Crown, the Count refused to confess and name the location of the priceless artifact. Enraged, the King threatened to put the good Count to death if he would not budge. Pleading, begging, asking for mercy, the Count insisted upon his innocence. Finally, the King ordered the executioner to lower the death axe.

As the hatchet descended, the Count cried “OK! I confess! The Crown is..” But it was too late to pull back. The blade descended and the severed head fell with a thud into the receptacle with the end of the sentence forever a mystery.





Moral of the story: Don’t hatchet your Counts before they chicken.
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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #273 on: February 19, 2021, 08:37:49 AM »

Offline NTorch

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #274 on: February 19, 2021, 10:21:21 AM »

My kind of humor!

Offline cholent

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Don't ask stupid questions and you won't get stupid answers

Offline Randomex

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #276 on: February 19, 2021, 01:05:08 PM »
https://mobile.twitter.com/JewishPitch/status/1362088310437478400

Drop "mobile." and you get:
If I find a dead deer, I don't have to fight a bear for it. I don't even have to eat it if I don't want to.

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #277 on: February 19, 2021, 04:50:04 PM »
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #278 on: February 20, 2021, 08:41:08 PM »
Microsoft Wireless Mobile Mouse 3500 - Loch Ness Gray (GMF-00010) ($9.99)
Alive again
Alive again, again
Soon (at 9 lives) this mouse will be a cat... :D
Monkeys don't fly unless you put them on airplanes

Online AsherO

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #279 on: February 21, 2021, 01:09:35 AM »


If I like this, am I liking my own post?