Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread (Read 229686 times)

NTorch · « **Reply #960 on:** March 07, 2022, 10:00:09 AM »

From my BiL in today

Quote

Why was the birthday cake hard as a rock?

It was a marble cake

Randomex · « **Reply #961 on:** March 11, 2022, 01:05:15 PM »

People are often shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.

Yehudaa · « **Reply #962 on:** March 11, 2022, 02:06:32 PM »

Quote from: Randomex on March 11, 2022, 01:05:15 PM

People are often shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.

Quote from: NTorch on February 15, 2022, 08:54:43 AM

NTorch · « **Reply #963 on:** March 11, 2022, 02:08:55 PM »

Moshe Green · « **Reply #964 on:** March 12, 2022, 03:45:47 PM »

Lchvod Purim:

What advice did Dan give the CEO of "His Majesty's Hangmen" when there were complaints that Haman had fallen down from the gallows?

"HUTA"

Something Fishy · « **Reply #965 on:** March 13, 2022, 12:51:47 AM »

Happyguy · « **Reply #966 on:** March 13, 2022, 08:54:58 AM »

yungermanchik · « **Reply #967 on:** March 14, 2022, 03:26:21 PM »

To avoid the spread of AchashVirus, please Vashti hands.

S209 · « **Reply #968 on:** March 15, 2022, 01:40:03 AM »

Quote from: Yehudaa on March 11, 2022, 02:06:32 PM

Randomex’s was better.

Randomex · « **Reply #969 on:** March 15, 2022, 04:49:25 AM »

(I actually got it from an issue of Jewish Life that someone recently brought my family.)

yitzgar · « **Reply #970 on:** March 15, 2022, 08:19:24 AM »

Quote from: Something Fishy on March 13, 2022, 12:51:47 AM

JoeyShmoe · « **Reply #971 on:** March 15, 2022, 10:28:54 AM »

Quote from: Something Fishy on March 13, 2022, 12:51:47 AM

Took me way too long to get this one, I'm embarrassed

aygart · « **Reply #972 on:** March 15, 2022, 10:38:36 AM »

Quote from: JoeyShmoe on March 15, 2022, 10:28:54 AM

Took me way too long to get this one, I'm embarrassed

The whole thing makes no sense. He is Austrian and would pronounce the ch correctly

YitzyS · « **Reply #973 on:** March 15, 2022, 10:43:49 AM »

Quote from: JoeyShmoe on March 15, 2022, 10:28:54 AM

Took me way too long to get this one, I'm embarrassed

You should be embarrassed that you got it. I only understood it after I did a lot of Google searching. I'm yeshivish, and I'm proud of it!

aygart · « **Reply #974 on:** March 15, 2022, 12:55:02 PM »

Quote from: YitzyS on March 15, 2022, 10:43:49 AM

You should be embarrassed that you got it. I only understood it after I did a lot of Google searching. I'm yeshivish, and I'm proud of it!

Took until after I figured out it wasn't Haydn or Tchaikovsky.

biobook · « **Reply #975 on:** March 15, 2022, 01:40:11 PM »

Quote from: YitzyS on March 15, 2022, 10:43:49 AM

You should be embarrassed that you got it. I only understood it after I did a lot of Google searching. I'm yeshivish, and I'm proud of it!

The yeshivish version:

Stallone: I’m making a movie about composers. I’ll play Beethoven.
Van Damme: I’ll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: I’ll be Rav Yoel Sirkis.

YitzyS · « **Reply #976 on:** March 15, 2022, 01:48:01 PM »

Quote from: aygart on March 15, 2022, 12:55:02 PM

Took until after I figured out it wasn't Haydn or Tchaikovsky.

Silly guy. The issue isn't the names of the musicians...

Quote from: biobook on March 15, 2022, 01:40:11 PM

The yeshivish version:

Stallone: I’m making a movie about nosei keilim. I’ll play Taz.
Van Damme: I’ll be Shach
Schwarzenegger: I’ll be Rav Yoel Sirkis.

FTFY

sguitarist18 · « **Reply #977 on:** March 20, 2022, 12:28:02 PM »

My friend wanted to dress up for Purim with a tail and a bar of soap - he's dressing up as "Clean Vashti."

My family was dressing up as animals, I realized that if we carry lightning bolts we can say we're dressing up as "Zoos."

Shmulie · « **Reply #978 on:** March 22, 2022, 04:55:26 PM »

TimT · « **Reply #979 on:** March 25, 2022, 11:20:11 AM »

https://twitter.com/ShimmyGoodman/status/1507345148946100239