Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread  (Read 229535 times)

Offline Something Fishy

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #980 on: March 27, 2022, 03:04:36 AM »


Check out my site for epic kosher adventures: Kosher Horizons

Offline NTorch

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #981 on: March 29, 2022, 02:47:09 PM »
Following up on the Oscars ceremony, investigators dusted Chris Rock's face for evidence, but all they found were Fresh Prince.

Offline sguitarist18

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #982 on: March 29, 2022, 05:31:30 PM »



Offline YitzyS

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Offline Rafi

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #984 on: April 05, 2022, 08:40:34 PM »
A hamburger walks into a restaurant and asks for a bowl of soup.
The waiter says, sorry. We don't serve food here.

Offline Jellybelly

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #985 on: April 05, 2022, 08:48:33 PM »
A hamburger walks into a restaurant and asks for a bowl of soup.
The waiter says, sorry. We don't serve food here.
Rafi1000??

Offline etech0

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #986 on: April 05, 2022, 08:52:18 PM »
The waiter comes up to the gentleman and says, "And how did you find your steak, sir?"

"I just moved my potato and there it was!"
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline JoeyShmoe

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #987 on: April 05, 2022, 09:14:04 PM »
DDF A-Z Link Extension
Chrome
Firefox
Info

Offline TimT

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Offline Dan

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #989 on: April 25, 2022, 10:33:21 PM »
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
Or just a low ha?
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #990 on: April 25, 2022, 10:33:54 PM »
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
Or just a low ha?
painful!

Offline Dan

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #991 on: April 26, 2022, 04:25:21 PM »
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Dan

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #992 on: April 26, 2022, 05:24:02 PM »
PSA: Challahs made without a shlissel this Shabbos will be missing a key ingredient!
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline TimT

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Offline lcm

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #994 on: April 26, 2022, 07:20:10 PM »
Just lei it on me.
Planning another trip to Hawaii?

Offline Dan

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #995 on: April 26, 2022, 08:19:12 PM »
Planning another trip to Hawaii?
Halewaii
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Offline Sam 77

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #996 on: April 26, 2022, 08:24:04 PM »
Halewaii
Wow your on a roll today!

Offline YitzyS

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #997 on: April 26, 2022, 10:48:04 PM »
Wow your on a roll today!
mango and pineapple on brown rice?

Offline Ver hut gazugt

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #998 on: May 11, 2022, 05:35:49 PM »
The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed: Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)…

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck
Tech Support😂😂😂😂

Offline TimT

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Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #999 on: May 11, 2022, 05:46:01 PM »
Gut Gazugt