Author Topic: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread  (Read 288409 times)

Offline yungermanchik

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Nov 2018
  • Posts: 2983
  • Total likes: 2404
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: Previous Signatures: If you chapped hana'ah from a post, like it; You think you know the answers and things are the way they seem.. it just ain't so -The Rebbe from Lublin-
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1100 on: March 28, 2023, 08:38:27 PM »
Are you being intentionally obtuse? If a person spreads on SM that he found @Something Fishy in an establishment then his reputation is ruined.
Whose, @Something Fishy's or the Establishment's?
Small people talk about other people.
Average people talk about things
BIG PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS.

Offline aygart

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 19443
  • Total likes: 15882
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 14
    • View Profile
    • Lower Watt Energy Brokers
  • Programs: www.lowerwatt.com
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1101 on: March 28, 2023, 09:39:40 PM »
Whose, @Something Fishy's or the Establishment's?

After saying it enough times I just had to add the @ in front once.
Feelings don't care about your facts

Offline Ver hut gazugt

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Silver Elite
  • *****
  • Join Date: Jan 2021
  • Posts: 734
  • Total likes: 704
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: New york
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1102 on: March 30, 2023, 12:25:20 PM »
A lady calls the Rabbi at 10 pm Erev Pesach.

Wife: "Rabbi!, we scattered ten pieces of bread around the house, and my husband only found nine of them. What should we do?"

Rabbi: Is the bread the size of kezayit

Wife: Yes.

Rabbi: So he has to find it!!

At midnight, she calls again.

Wife: Rabbi!, my husband has already dismantled all the closets, taken out the rugs, turned over the furniture, and nothing. He can not find the tenth piece of chametz!

Rabbi: There's nothing to do. He must search until he finds it.

2:00 am she calls again.

Wife: Dear Rabbi, we are all tired. My husband has searched 702 times as a gematria of Shabbat, searched on the roof, opened the plumbing, everything, and still has not found it. What can we do?

Rabbi: If it's a kazayit, there is no choice. He has to find it!

Wife: Can I at least give him a hint?

Offline mevinyavin

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Sep 2022
  • Posts: 2657
  • Total likes: 3117
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Laptop help/deal request template
  • Location: Yerushalayim
  • Programs: Windows 10 and 11 Home, Word/Excel/Publisher 2021, Wordweb, McGill English Dictionary of Rhyme, VLC, Torat Emet, 7-Zip, Lightshot, Calibre, FDM, FreeFileSync, Teracopy, Handbrake, Lightshot
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1103 on: March 31, 2023, 03:12:21 AM »


Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline mevinyavin

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Sep 2022
  • Posts: 2657
  • Total likes: 3117
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Laptop help/deal request template
  • Location: Yerushalayim
  • Programs: Windows 10 and 11 Home, Word/Excel/Publisher 2021, Wordweb, McGill English Dictionary of Rhyme, VLC, Torat Emet, 7-Zip, Lightshot, Calibre, FDM, FreeFileSync, Teracopy, Handbrake, Lightshot
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1104 on: April 02, 2023, 05:27:43 AM »
Razer (the video gaming and gaming peripherals company) has launched the Razer Razer lchvod April 1st. Advertised as "the world's first shaving mouse."
PS It may be kosher to shave with because it doesn't exist.
https://www.razer.com/ca-en/razer-razer





« Last Edit: April 02, 2023, 05:32:19 AM by mevinyavin »
Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline NTorch

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Feb 2016
  • Posts: 2343
  • Total likes: 1254
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 84
    • View Profile
  • Location: West Hempstead
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1105 on: April 18, 2023, 09:32:18 AM »



Offline Yehudaa

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Mar 2018
  • Posts: 3909
  • Total likes: 2914
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 111
    • View Profile
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1106 on: April 18, 2023, 11:08:53 PM »


Offline NTorch

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Feb 2016
  • Posts: 2343
  • Total likes: 1254
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 84
    • View Profile
  • Location: West Hempstead
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1107 on: April 19, 2023, 09:19:36 AM »



Offline mevinyavin

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Sep 2022
  • Posts: 2657
  • Total likes: 3117
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Laptop help/deal request template
  • Location: Yerushalayim
  • Programs: Windows 10 and 11 Home, Word/Excel/Publisher 2021, Wordweb, McGill English Dictionary of Rhyme, VLC, Torat Emet, 7-Zip, Lightshot, Calibre, FDM, FreeFileSync, Teracopy, Handbrake, Lightshot
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1108 on: April 20, 2023, 04:06:40 AM »


Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline NTorch

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Feb 2016
  • Posts: 2343
  • Total likes: 1254
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 84
    • View Profile
  • Location: West Hempstead
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1109 on: April 24, 2023, 02:47:25 PM »



Offline NTorch

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Feb 2016
  • Posts: 2343
  • Total likes: 1254
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 84
    • View Profile
  • Location: West Hempstead
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1110 on: April 25, 2023, 09:16:50 AM »



Offline Lurker

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jul 2019
  • Posts: 5141
  • Total likes: 6402
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: As always, silence is NOT an admission of agreement on DDF. It just means that people lack the stamina to keep on arguing with made up "facts", illogical arguments, deceiving statements, nasty and degrading comments, and fuzzy math. - @yelped
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1111 on: April 25, 2023, 10:12:20 AM »


I heard it's scheduled to be hung.
Failing at maintaining Lurker status.

Offline NTorch

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Feb 2016
  • Posts: 2343
  • Total likes: 1254
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 84
    • View Profile
  • Location: West Hempstead
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1112 on: April 26, 2023, 10:00:53 AM »



Offline joe1234

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Posts: 2150
  • Total likes: 610
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1113 on: April 26, 2023, 08:05:52 PM »

especially when it comes to mooving into a moscow...

Offline YitzyS

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jan 2015
  • Posts: 5974
  • Total likes: 15158
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 34
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood, NJ
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1114 on: April 26, 2023, 08:18:09 PM »
especially when it comes to mooving into a moscow...
I think you're milking this too much

Offline AsherO

  • Global Moderator
  • Dansdeals Lifetime 25K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • **********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 31730
  • Total likes: 8576
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1115 on: April 26, 2023, 08:26:43 PM »
I think you're milking this too much

Udder yeah, udder nisht
DDF FFB (Forum From Birth)

Offline joe1234

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jul 2015
  • Posts: 2150
  • Total likes: 610
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 19
    • View Profile
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1116 on: April 26, 2023, 09:11:10 PM »
I think you're milking this too much
as long as nobody has a cow...

Offline NTorch

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Feb 2016
  • Posts: 2343
  • Total likes: 1254
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 84
    • View Profile
  • Location: West Hempstead
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1117 on: April 27, 2023, 09:46:48 AM »



Offline mevinyavin

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Sep 2022
  • Posts: 2657
  • Total likes: 3117
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
    • Laptop help/deal request template
  • Location: Yerushalayim
  • Programs: Windows 10 and 11 Home, Word/Excel/Publisher 2021, Wordweb, McGill English Dictionary of Rhyme, VLC, Torat Emet, 7-Zip, Lightshot, Calibre, FDM, FreeFileSync, Teracopy, Handbrake, Lightshot
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1118 on: April 28, 2023, 07:10:28 AM »
Quote from: ExGingi
Echo chambers are boring and don't contribute much to deeper thinking and understanding!

Offline Euclid

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jun 2010
  • Posts: 5263
  • Total likes: 6608
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
Re: Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread
« Reply #1119 on: April 30, 2023, 01:19:28 AM »