Poll

Do you shake hands with the opposite gender at work?

Yes, and I work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must".
19 (17.1%)
No, and I work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must".
21 (18.9%)
Yes, and I don't work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must"
19 (17.1%)
No, and I don't work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must"
44 (39.6%)
I wear a ring, and I like to take it off and spin it on my desk.
8 (7.2%)

Total Members Voted: 111

Author Topic: Married men wear a ring to the office?  (Read 79383 times)

Offline Drago

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #120 on: January 16, 2014, 02:45:22 AM »
I do. Started after kollel when I went to work.

I received it under the huppa when we exchanged rings and took solemn vows to be with each other, until death do us apart.

Offline george

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #121 on: January 16, 2014, 02:48:05 AM »
Holy smokes! Which is more "normal"? To have everyone think you are as crazy as Howard Hughes? Or to just tell them that you and millions of other decent folks follow a code of law that has been around for thousands of years?
Are you replying to me here?
If yes, I am confused. Your openeing words make it sound like you are in disagreement with me, yet you don't follow through with an argument that contradicts mine.
If you are not replying to my post, fine, but you could have done without quoting me.

Holy smokes! Which is more "normal"? To have everyone think you are as crazy as Howard Hughes? Or to just tell them that you and millions of other decent folks follow a code of law that has been around for thousands of years?
-1
There aren't "millions" of orthodox Jews worldwide. The accurate figure, which includes basically any definition of "orthodox" - from far left to far right - is about one million. And a significant percentage of that one million do not refrain from shaking hands with opposite gender (i.e. modern orthodox.)



Offline Freddie

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #122 on: January 16, 2014, 02:55:26 AM »
Are you replying to me here?
If yes, I am confused. Your openeing words make it sound like you are in disagreement with me, yet you don't follow through with an

Dude, it's 3am here. I have no idea who I'm replying to.

Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #123 on: January 16, 2014, 02:58:57 AM »
The same reason there are separate men's and women's bathrooms.
That has to do with anti discrimination laws
״וזה כלל גדול: שישנא אדם כל דבר שקר. וכל מה שיוסיף שנאה לדרכי השקר – יוסיף אהבה לתורה.״ - אורחות צדיקים

Offline george

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #124 on: January 16, 2014, 02:59:24 AM »
Dude, it's 3am here. I have no idea who I'm replying to.
ALOL
Ok I'll let it go this time  ;) :P ;) :P ;) :P

Offline rots5

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #125 on: January 16, 2014, 03:02:52 AM »
I take things each situation at a time.
does that mean you give hugs sometimes? :) jk

@ushdude, i shake my dr's hands. yes even my dentist when he has come to the waiting room. now a days i switched to a female dentist in monsey and i dont think i ever formally met her.

though i have been to big hospitals and i can tell you that forsure every time i would see the dr in the office (every visit) he would shake my hand, and his assistant as well.
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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #126 on: January 16, 2014, 03:06:29 AM »
Men and women don't touch. That's the short answer.
I have a cold ;)
Look, CV, it's a modesty thing. The same reason there are separate men's and women's bathrooms.
It might lead to mixed dancing.  ;)
So Chabad.org is mistaken?

“The reason is a rather complex, even Freudian rationale. It is felt that touching a person of the opposite gender is essentially a sexual act, or at least the precursor of a sexual act. While it is true that most handshakes between men and women do not lead to sexual relations and are not even contemplated, sexual relations always begin with touching. It is also true that a handshake does communicate feelings albeit on a superficial level.”
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Offline jj1000

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #127 on: January 16, 2014, 03:09:54 AM »
Holy smokes! Which is more "normal"? To have everyone think you are as crazy as Howard Hughes Howie Mandel?
FTFY get with the times :P Also a more normal and realistic comparison.


I usually say "I don't touch what I can't afford." Goes over real well  :P

So Chabad.org is mistaken?
Heresy.
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Offline Freddie

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #128 on: January 16, 2014, 03:10:26 AM »
So Chabad.org is mistaken?

“The reason is a rather complex, even Freudian rationale. It is felt that touching a person of the opposite gender is essentially a sexual act, or at least the precursor of a sexual act. While it is true that most handshakes between men and women do not lead to sexual relations and are not even contemplated, sexual relations always begin with touching. It is also true that a handshake does communicate feelings albeit on a superficial level.”

How is that different than what I said? They're just being all fancy about it.

I said it's because of modesty, like separate bathrooms. Men and women don't go to the bathroom together because of modesty. Modesty doesn't mean sexual repression. I don't think having mixed bathrooms would be that much a turn-on for most people. It's just a recognition of gender differences. You don't touch each other at all unless you are in a physically intimate relationship (iow marriage.)

Offline Drago

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #129 on: January 16, 2014, 03:11:21 AM »
Jeez, this thread has gone OT.
Why not just set up a shomer negiah thread, and ya'll can have endless arguments there.

Offline george

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #130 on: January 16, 2014, 03:12:28 AM »
I usually say "I don't touch what I can't afford." Goes over real well  :P
Nice!

Offline rots5

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #131 on: January 16, 2014, 03:13:31 AM »
Jeez, this thread has gone OT.
Why not just set up a shomer negiah thread, and ya'll can have endless arguments there.
Now a days men should wear rings for a whole diff reason.... fear of other men!!
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Offline Freddie

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #132 on: January 16, 2014, 03:13:58 AM »
Jeez, this thread has gone OT.
Why not just set up a shomer negiah thread, and ya'll can have endless arguments there.

It's not off topic at all. It is ON topic. The OP suggested a contrivance for warding off unwanted sexual advances. What very naturally and organically occurred is that the thread veered away from the contrivance and settled on the tried and true. Like, "oh yeah, isnt that what we have negiah for?"

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #133 on: January 16, 2014, 03:18:21 AM »
How is that different than what I said? They're just being all fancy about it.

I said it's because of modesty, like separate bathrooms. Men and women don't go to the bathroom together because of modesty. Modesty doesn't mean sexual repression. I don't think having mixed bathrooms would be that much a turn-on for most people. It's just a recognition of gender differences. You don't touch each other at all unless you are in a physically intimate relationship (iow marriage.)
If all that men and women did in restrooms was wash their hands we would have no separate public bathrooms in the US.

Saying it is because of modesty and saying it leads to sex are not the same. The one is plausible and the other is just (insert your own word).
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Offline Freddie

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #134 on: January 16, 2014, 03:25:11 AM »
If all that men and women did in restrooms was wash their hands we would have no separate public bathrooms in the US.

Saying it is because of modesty and saying it leads to sex are not the same. The one is plausible and the other is just (insert your own word).

The chabad.org version was just spicing it up. Handshakes aren't a problem because of what they lead to. Handshakes are a problem because of what they are. It's a way of bonding through touch. The question is where do you draw the line? Some draw the line at a foot massage. Halacha draws the line at handshakes.

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #135 on: January 16, 2014, 03:28:44 AM »
Halacha draws the line at handshakes.
This is the part I don't get. How can some say that it is then all right in business situations? Forget about the rules when it doesn’t benefit you?
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Offline Freddie

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #136 on: January 16, 2014, 03:38:06 AM »
This is the part I don't get. How can some say that it is then all right in business situations? Forget about the rules when it doesn’t benefit you?

You tell 'em, Count! R' Moshe Feinstein z"l said that handshakes were yaharog v'al ya'avor. Some people like RMF when it's time to eat M&M's but not when it's time to explain to some important business lady why you can't shake her hand.

Offline jj1000

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #137 on: January 16, 2014, 03:40:49 AM »
This is the part I don't get. How can some say that it is then all right in business situations? Forget about the rules when it doesn’t benefit you?
Don't rules have by laws?

I'm not commenting on this specific but your question has an easy answer and that's bylaws of the laws.
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Offline Drago

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #138 on: January 16, 2014, 03:45:09 AM »
You tell 'em, Count! R' Moshe Feinstein z"l said that handshakes were yaharog v'al ya'avor. Some people like RMF when it's time to eat M&M's but not when it's time to explain to some important business lady why you can't shake her hand.
You tell 'em!!
I carry around a sword with me to all places in case I find myself in this exact scenario. It's the only honorable thing to do.

Offline Freddie

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #139 on: January 16, 2014, 03:47:26 AM »
You tell 'em!!
I carry around a sword with me to all places in case I find myself in this exact scenario. It's the only honorable thing to do.

LOL!  ;D

It's okay to make fun, Drago. I did sound a little intense there. I am not really a kanoy. Besides, it's a spear, not a sword.