Poll

Do you shake hands with the opposite gender at work?

Yes, and I work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must".
19 (17.1%)
No, and I work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must".
21 (18.9%)
Yes, and I don't work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must"
19 (17.1%)
No, and I don't work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must"
44 (39.6%)
I wear a ring, and I like to take it off and spin it on my desk.
8 (7.2%)

Total Members Voted: 111

Author Topic: Married men wear a ring to the office?  (Read 79392 times)

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #300 on: January 16, 2014, 02:08:24 PM »
to illustrate my point: I once a guest in a small Modern Orthodox community in North Jersey for shabbos. I walk to shul on shabbos morning wearing my talis, all the non Jews that I passed by greeted me with respect . Four separate members of the Jewish  community approach and either angrily or mockingly commented on my wearing a talis in public. They were ashamed, deeply ashamed of the talis, that G-d forbid they should realize that we are different . This is what they teach in the modern orthodox communities and yu.
We must blend with the nations and not show them that we're different in order that they should like us and we should be a light upon them... Or something like that...

thanks of the anecdote.  was there an eruv?

Offline Ergel

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #301 on: January 16, 2014, 02:09:43 PM »
they take it as a virtue. They dress like them, use non Jewish names etc. This is their hashkafa. Don't let them know that you are different in anyway.
I am part of the YU world. I wear my tzitzis out at work (I'm the only frum Jew)
Life isn't about checking the boxes. Nobody cares.

Offline ushdadude

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #302 on: January 16, 2014, 02:09:59 PM »
MODS- can we please close this thread down before it deteriorates any further and we are to have any hope of Bayit Shlishi?

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #303 on: January 16, 2014, 02:10:09 PM »
thanks of the anecdote.  was there an eruv?
Of course, not one that I was comfortable with (duh!  ;) ).
The comments made were not eiruv related though.

Offline Ergel

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #304 on: January 16, 2014, 02:11:23 PM »
to illustrate my point: I once a guest in a small Modern Orthodox community in North Jersey for shabbos. I walk to shul on shabbos morning wearing my talis, all the non Jews that I passed by greeted me with respect . Four separate members of the Jewish  community approach and either angrily or mockingly commented on my wearing a talis in public. They were ashamed, deeply ashamed of the talis, that G-d forbid they should realize that we are different . This is what they teach in the modern orthodox communities and yu.
We must blend with the nations and not show them that we're different in order that they should like us and we should be a light upon them... Or something like that...
I wear my talis to and from shul on shabbos
Life isn't about checking the boxes. Nobody cares.

Offline Menachem613

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #305 on: January 16, 2014, 02:12:47 PM »



Don't mean to offend anyone. Just discussing the general hashkafa, NOT the wonderful ppl!

Sounds like "hate the sin but not the sinner."

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #306 on: January 16, 2014, 02:13:02 PM »
Of course, not one that I was comfortable with (duh!  ;) ).
The comments made were not eiruv related though.

perhaps what you just wrote is the reason they got annoyed at you.  you are right, it wasnt about the eiruv, bc im sure its trustworthy, it was your rxn to it.

btw, you should watch out for those teaneck restaurants, never know who the mashgiach is there.  he may carry in the north jersey eiruv

Offline meshugener

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #307 on: January 16, 2014, 02:13:11 PM »
Unfortunately, the average DDF member agrees with him
NO, I DON'T.
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Offline LA2NYC

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #308 on: January 16, 2014, 02:13:51 PM »
Ok, I'm Sorry

I honestly did not mean to offend anyone, I did make a general comment about the way I personally perceive the Modern orthodox hashkofas hachaim. I dont think that I am better then anyone. I was expecting responses debating the hashkafa and how it applies to hand shakes. Did not expect guys to get insulted!

Thought we had thicker skins, I certainly do!


Sorry!

Honestly, I wasn't hurt by it.  Objectively it was insulting and "since we didn't have thicker skins," you feel sorry.  It's not a din in whether someone is hurt, it's the fact that it's said...

Offline ushdadude

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #309 on: January 16, 2014, 02:13:57 PM »
MODS- can we please close this thread down before it deteriorates any further and we are to have any hope of Bayit Shlishi?

+1

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #310 on: January 16, 2014, 02:14:26 PM »
NO, I DON'T.

perhaps you are not average

Offline meshugener

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #311 on: January 16, 2014, 02:15:54 PM »
What do you do in school where the professor is female?
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Offline Ergel

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #312 on: January 16, 2014, 02:16:26 PM »
To break it down simply:

Yeshivish/Chareidi don't like/agree with the MO hashkafa as they feel it's diluted Judaism.

MO/YU don't like the Chareidi hashkafa of elitism and xenophobia as they feel it's not conducive to harboring good feelings from others, among other things.
Disagree
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Offline LA2NYC

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #313 on: January 16, 2014, 02:16:34 PM »
Is this a good idea? Do you do so?

Will women be even less reserved with you because it feels "safe"? Or more reserved because they'll understand you're off limits? Doesn't your yarlmuke make you off limits enough?

So, uh, Henche, you gonna wear a ring? LOL

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #314 on: January 16, 2014, 02:19:08 PM »
So, uh, Henche, you gonna wear a ring? LOL
+1 :)

Offline henche

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #315 on: January 16, 2014, 02:20:32 PM »
What do you do in school where the professor is female?

most of my profs never tried to shake my hand. (also, most were male) (also, they couldn't do anything to me)

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #316 on: January 16, 2014, 02:22:02 PM »
perhaps what you just wrote is the reason they got annoyed at you.  you are right, it wasnt about the eiruv, bc im sure its trustworthy, it was your rxn to it.

btw, you should watch out for those teaneck restaurants, never know who the mashgiach is there.  he may carry in the north jersey eiruv
For the record, it wasn't teaneck

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #317 on: January 16, 2014, 02:23:19 PM »
For the record, it wasn't teaneck

can you carry there?

Offline Aaaron

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #318 on: January 16, 2014, 02:23:58 PM »
What do you do in school where the professor is female?

I know people that didn't walk at their law school graduation because they'd have to shake the female dean's hand on stage.

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #319 on: January 16, 2014, 02:26:12 PM »
most of my profs never tried to shake my hand. (also, most were male) (also, they couldn't do anything to me)

dont have this problem in YU.

#irony