Poll

Do you shake hands with the opposite gender at work?

Yes, and I work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must".
19 (17.6%)
No, and I work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must".
21 (19.4%)
Yes, and I don't work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must"
19 (17.6%)
No, and I don't work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must"
41 (38%)
I wear a ring, and I like to take it off and spin it on my desk.
8 (7.4%)

Total Members Voted: 108

Author Topic: Married men wear a ring to the office?  (Read 42343 times)

Offline henche

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #315 on: January 16, 2014, 02:20:32 PM »
What do you do in school where the professor is female?

most of my profs never tried to shake my hand. (also, most were male) (also, they couldn't do anything to me)

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #316 on: January 16, 2014, 02:22:02 PM »
perhaps what you just wrote is the reason they got annoyed at you.  you are right, it wasnt about the eiruv, bc im sure its trustworthy, it was your rxn to it.

btw, you should watch out for those teaneck restaurants, never know who the mashgiach is there.  he may carry in the north jersey eiruv
For the record, it wasn't teaneck

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #317 on: January 16, 2014, 02:23:19 PM »
For the record, it wasn't teaneck

can you carry there?

Offline Aaaron

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #318 on: January 16, 2014, 02:23:58 PM »
What do you do in school where the professor is female?

I know people that didn't walk at their law school graduation because they'd have to shake the female dean's hand on stage.

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #319 on: January 16, 2014, 02:26:12 PM »
most of my profs never tried to shake my hand. (also, most were male) (also, they couldn't do anything to me)

dont have this problem in YU.

#irony

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #320 on: January 16, 2014, 02:27:36 PM »
can you carry there?
No idea. The place that i was in I actually discussed the eiruv with the Rabbi, after going through the long laundry list of kulos that had to be relied on to make the eiruv in question kosher he actually told me that "its not for me"...

Offline SamKey

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #321 on: January 16, 2014, 02:29:39 PM »
This is one of the best threads ever. I am floored that this is over a handshake.
Can't wait to hear what you'd say about kol isha

Offline Moishel

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #322 on: January 16, 2014, 02:31:39 PM »
+1
Plus onning yourself, is that as bad as liking yourself on facebook?

Re the poll that was added, where's the option for "No, and I work in an environment where shaking hands is "a must not!"?

Can't wait to hear what you'd say about kol isha
You forgot about the hair shaving thread?

Offline henche

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #323 on: January 16, 2014, 02:33:55 PM »
I know people that didn't walk at their law school graduation because they'd have to shake the female dean's hand on stage.

Why not just tell the dean beforehand that you aren't going to shake? (I totally can't remember what happened at mine, but I think it's ok if you're wearing a gown and therefore dressed like a woman anyway)

Offline shlaros228

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #324 on: January 16, 2014, 02:35:15 PM »
Why not just tell the dean beforehand that you aren't going to shake? (I totally can't remember what happened at mine, but I think it's ok if you're wearing a gown and therefore dressed like a woman anyway)

+1

Offline Aaaron

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #325 on: January 16, 2014, 02:41:38 PM »
Why not just tell the dean beforehand that you aren't going to shake? (I totally can't remember what happened at mine, but I think it's ok if you're wearing a gown and therefore dressed like a woman anyway)

It would look very odd, with everyone else stopping halfway across the stage to shake her hand, and you just walk right past her.  Although it's just speculation.  They may just have used that as an excuse not to walk.

Offline SamKey

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #326 on: January 16, 2014, 02:42:25 PM »
From R' Gil Student at Hirhurim - http://hirhurim.blogspot.com/2005/07/shaking-hands-with-women.html:

II. Shaking and Enjoying

Is there sufficient pleasure in shaking a woman's hand to render it prohibited, even according to the Shakh? R. Moshe Feinstein repeatedly (Iggeros Moshe, Orah Hayim vol. 1 no. 113; Even Ha-Ezer vol. 1 no. 56) ruled that a man enjoys shaking a woman's hand and it is therefore prohibited.

As someone who has been shaking women's hands for years, I simply cannot understand his reasoning. A quick handshake yields no pleasure, and is so quick that it cannot even warm a cold hand. It also indicates no closeness between the two parties and is the equivalent of saying "Hello." R. Joseph B. Soloveitchik is quoted as having permitted shaking a woman's hand when necessary, and I once went to the trouble of confirming this from people who asked him directly. R. Mordechai Willig recommends what he calls a "dead fish" handshake -- shaking with a limp hand.

Granted, all agree that someone who does feel pleasure from a handshake should refrain from doing so. But a simple handshake does not, normally, give any pleasure.

I would add that this certainly varies based on culture and in some places a handshake might, indeed, be intended to demonstrate affection or closeness. In that case, it would also be forbidden. In this vein, R. Yosef Hayim of Baghdad (Od Yosef Hai 1, Shofetim) permits a woman kissing a man's hand but not shaking it, because in his culture the latter was considered an affectionate embrace.


I once heard a rabbi, who had previously worked for the OU, speak on this issue. He said that he could not understand why many of his former colleagues would shake hands with women while he went to amazing lengths to avoid shaking hands with women on the few occasions in which it arose. Had he only bothered to ask his colleagues, some of whom can learn circles around him, he might have recognized that (they and) their rabbinic mentors permit this when necessary. (NOTE that this is not intended to imply an OU policy on the subject or that everyone at the OU shakes hands with women.)
I find this to be kefira. It reminds me of what the Satmar Rav Z"L said about "litvish" dating "How many aveiros did they have to commit for this not to have an effect on them"
Vhameivin Yavin

Offline Menachem613

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #327 on: January 16, 2014, 02:44:24 PM »

I find this to be kefira. It reminds me of what the Satmar Rav Z"L said about "litvish" dating "How many aveiros did they have to commit for this not to have an effect on them"
Vhameivin Yavin

Which one of the foundations of Judaism does it contradict?

Offline Crazy tools

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #328 on: January 16, 2014, 02:48:45 PM »
I heard this line think it fits in well here.
" Don't judge me because I sin differently then you"

Offline Ergel

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Re: Married men wear a ring to the office?
« Reply #329 on: January 16, 2014, 02:49:30 PM »
I find this to be kefira.
You may disagree, but kefira? ???
Quote
It reminds me of what the Satmar Rav Z"L said about "litvish" dating "How many aveiros did they have to commit for this not to have an effect on them"
Vhameivin Yavin
Are you saying Gil Student is a ba'al aveiros. Not sure what is worse-publicly defaming thousands of Jews or calling a single Jew a ba'al aveiros
Life isn't about checking the boxes. Nobody cares.