What came in your email today?

[grodnoking]

they've ramped up their game with me now, they started with phonecalls from Microsoft telling me that have evidence that my computer is infected, meanwhile I never had one...

I got phone calls that I won a hundred dollar gift card and needed to pay $5 shipping. When I said I want proof thier real they got nasty with me. They called three Times already.

[David Smith]

I got phone calls that I won a hundred dollar gift card and needed to pay $5 shipping. When I said I want proof thier real they got nasty with me. They called three Times already.

When they asked me for my cc number to pay for s&h, I told them to use the gift card as the payment method. The Indian didn't quite get what I was saying, and a conversation displaying stupidity to an absurd degree ensued. Eventually I got bored, told them I was informing the authorities, and hung up.

[Live N Learn]

When they asked me for my cc number to pay for s&h, I told them to use the gift card as the payment method. The Indian didn't quite get what I was saying, and a conversation displaying stupidity to an absurd degree ensued. Eventually I got bored, told them I was informing the authorities, and hung up.

+1

Did the same thing, and after arguing around for 15 minutes, he offered another gift card of $50 if I make the payment with a credit card.

[freddy]

Hi Freddy,

Thanks for writing in! I’m sorry to hear your free processing expired. I noticed you had just a little under $300 left.

For the inconvenience, I’m happy to offer you $500 in free card processing with Square for another 180 days. You’ll now receive a reimbursement for card processing fees on your next $500 worth of sales. You can view your free processing balance by logging in to the Pricing & Services tab of your online Square Dashboard. Once you process $500 of payments or 180 calendar days has passed (whichever occurs first), you’ll automatically be charged your usual per-transaction fee.

If you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be more than happy to help!

Best Wishes,

 Noel
 Square Support​

[Achas Veachas]

Anyone wanna deal with this for a 20% cut?

Follow up:

MESSAGE FROM CHIEF IMMIGRATION OFFICER.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999
 
Attention my good friend ,

                     Re: Your Package For Delivery

Thanks for your message, please i will need your complete information for verification which will enable me to go ahead and pay for the release of the consignment box from the Airport Storage Vault. So for proper verification, you need to send down your complete address so that we can crosscheck what we have here, if it's the same i will proceed with you. Furthermore, the consignment box contained cash in the amount of $10.5Million US Dollars, for you to have full confidence of the existence of this consignment, I have attached to this email a confidential copy of the US Customs Ultra Scan Report(For Your Eyes Only) which indicates that the trunk box have been scanned and confirmed to be filled with valuable monetary instrument worth $10Millions Dollars and in order for me to negotiate with the airport vault authorities for the release of the withheld package to you, i will need you to confirm your address to me to ensure that it correspond with what we have here, after which i go ahead and pay for the US Non Inspection Charges of $3,700 which was the main reason the consignment was with-held by the Los Angeles International Airport authorities here in California since these charges were not paid by the diplomatic agent delivering this consignment to you from United Nations office in London.

Now send me your complete address and telephone number so that i can crosscheck what i have here on the consignment to ensure am dealing with the right owner of the consignment box.

Thank you.

Regards,
Mr. Kalstrom S. James,
Chief Immigration officer.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999
Cell:(415) 891-4192

The following "scan" was attached:

[etech0]

that should convince you if nothing else did

[maxie m]

Got another call today from the same scammers as usual, instead of giving them a chance to talk I started a guessing game "are you head of mi6 with a lost property from a reconnaissance mission" "no".  "wait, wait! Maybe the Malaysian consulate with my passport forgotten on my last visit?"  "No", I politely ended the call by requesting that he swim to the bottom of the ganges and not come up

[Achas Veachas]

Follow up:

So after I sent him my "address" (I'm sure no one at 770 will complain if a box full of cash arrived ) this is what he sent back:

MESSAGE FROM CHIEF IMMIGRATION OFFICER.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999

Attention My Friend,

I have been able to secure the release of the CONSIGNMENT BOX this morning after a heated negotiation with the airport vault authorities. I have also paid the Non Inspection fees of $3.700 which was the main reason why the Diplomat abandoned the CONSIGNMENT BOX because he was unable to pay the fee but after making payment I have been required by the U.S. Customs and Border Protection authority to settle the accumulated demurrage fee of $2,870.00 Otherwise clearance will not be issue and they would not allow the package to exit the Airport premises for delivery to you.

I have also paid the said demurrage fee of $2,870 this morning as well but on the process of doing that, the U.S. Customs and Border Protection Staff discovered that the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate of the CONSIGNMENT has expired, so they said i will have to apply for a new Diplomatic Immunity from Miami, Florida, and that will cost extra $200, but due to my shortage of funds i cannot afford to send the $200 to Florida for the Diplomatic Immunity. This requires me to make the payment to their paying office in Florida before they will issue their receipt for exit clearance and the Custom Release Order.

It has now become imperative for you to support me at this point, so that, I can make this payment as required to avoid delay. What is left now is $200.00, Due to the exigent situation, we need to round this up fast. Do try and send me $200.00 so that I can pay for the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate of the CONSIGNMENT BOX.

Remember this payment is for the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate of the CONSIGNMENT BOX before the clearance will be completed, As soon as the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate is paid i will make my schedule available to you to know my time of arrival in your city.

I did not bargain for this, hence your understanding and assistance is highly needed for a fast and smooth delivery of your Consignment Box, you will need to send the $200 to Florida with the information below through Western Union or Money Gram so that they can make the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate available to enable me to exit the airport and meet up with you in the morning.

Custom Officer name: Roy Kessler
City/State: Miami, Florida
Amount: $200


This is the only role you are to play in this delivery process. I shall leave Los Angeles to meet you once the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate is updated in Florida today. I hope you recognize my effort so far in this process, in ensuring a safe delivery and to guide against any unforeseen circumstance.

Find attached payment receipt for Non inspection and the Demurrage paid today for your perusal.

I wait your urgent compliance.

Warmest regards,

Thank you.

Regards,
Mr. Kalstrom S. James,
Chief Immigration officer.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999
Cell:(415) 891-4192

The two receipts below were attached.

I asked him:

Dear kind sir,

Thank you so much for going through all of this trouble on my behalf, but is there a way for you to accept PayPal or something? That would be a lot easier...

I just got the following:

MESSAGE FROM CHIEF IMMIGRATION OFFICER.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999

Attention My Friend,

Thanks very much for your email and your understanding, am sorry to let you know that i don't have PayPal account as requested, moreover your supposed to send the money to Florida and not to California because it is in Florida that the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate would be issue from, so the $200 should be going to Florida as directed below.

Custom Officer name: Roy Kessler
City/State: Miami, Florida
Amount: $200

You should send the money to Florida using Walmart, that is the only alternative if you cannot use money gram or Western Union.

I shall leave Los Angeles to meet you once the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate is updated in Florida.

Note: this guy already has my "address", would it hurt him to say that he will arrive in New York rather than "in your city"?


Bonus points to anyone who can figure out what a Diplomatic Immunity Certificate is.

[Live N Learn]

I love these type of stories.
Send him a fake money order receipt.

[SearchGuy]

ROTFL, this guy couldn't even make the date without cutting in to the watermark

[Achas Veachas]

ROTFL, this guy couldn't even make the date without cutting in to the watermark

Yup he also spelled cheque the British way.

[@Yehuda]

Lol that is TOO funny!

[Achas Veachas]

Follow up:

This is fun!

After last email I sent him:

OK What is the address of the office in Miami? If not Paypal I would rather send a check.

This morning I got this:

MESSAGE FROM CHIEF IMMIGRATION OFFICER.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999

Attention My Friend,

My friend find below the information as requested and kindly send the money today so that i can make the final clearance and proceed to your address with the consignment box.

Recipient name: Roy Gerald Kessler
Address: 4200 NW 21st Street
Concourse D - North Terminal 2nd Floor
Miami, FL 33122
Amount: $200

You should send the money to Florida using Walmart or Money Gram. Also when you send the money kindly send me the following:

Sender's name:
Reference number:
Sender's address:

I shall leave Los Angeles to meet you once the Diplomatic Immunity Certificate is updated in Florida today.

I wait your urgent compliance.

Warmest regards,

I sent him the following:

If you insist, I sent the moneygram to Miami. Here is the info you requested:

Name: Samuel Munkes
Reference number: 13641562
Address: 770 Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11213

Waiting to hear from you.

[Live N Learn]

[quote name="Achas Veachas" post=1199042 timestamp=1436325517]Name: Samuel Munkes
Reference number: 13641562
Address: 770 Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11213

Waiting to hear from you.[/quote]

Ah, so you're a grandson of the famous R' Shmuel Munkes?

[Achas Veachas]

Ah, so you're a grandson of the famous R' Shmuel Munkes?

My name is Shmuel Munkes like I live at 770

[elikay]

they've ramped up their game with me now, they started with phonecalls from Microsoft telling me that have evidence that my computer is infected, meanwhile I never had one...

I told them I have a Mac

[Achas Veachas]

This is fun!

After last email I sent him:
This morning I got this:

I sent him the following:

After not hearing from my friend for a day I emailed to ask what's up. Here is what he answered:

MESSAGE FROM CHIEF IMMIGRATION OFFICER.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999

Attention My Friend,

I will deliver your package in the year 2070.

Warmest regards,


Thank you.

Regards,
Mr. Kalstrom S. James,
Chief Immigration officer.
Los Angeles International Airport.
3435 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 1025
Los Angeles, CA 90010.
Tel: (213) 355-6999
Cell:(415) 891-4192

I am currently on hold with henche's scam insurance for 2 hours and waiting...

[Venilla]

We are sorry for not providing you with the level of service you deserve.

We appreciate that you recently took the time to contact Aeroplan's Call Centre. We are making improvements to our systems to provide you with better service and give you easy access to the information you need. Regrettably, as a result, you may have had a difficult time connecting with an agent.

Our goal is to continuously improve your experience and to be there to help you when you need us. We hope that your future calls reflect this objective.

I have no clue what they did so they have to apologize...

[Live N Learn]

Project Fi, invite.

[grodnoking]

Project Fi, invite.

Got mine months ago. If anyone wants it I'm not using it.