Poll

Do you hit your children, and why/why not?

Heck yeah!
11 (14.1%)
Never!
15 (19.2%)
I try not to but when they really get crazy...
9 (11.5%)
Only for Chinuch or life threatening situations.
33 (42.3%)
I don't but my spouse does.
1 (1.3%)
You mean people still do this? *shocked*
9 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 78

Author Topic: Do you hit your kids?  (Read 22861 times)

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #200 on: February 19, 2014, 09:45:24 PM »
I think there is actually a Rashi that his actions were based on. That to girls you always teach in a positive manner. To boys, sometimes you got to be tough. I never asked him why he never hit the girls. But the distinction is not silly.


(כה תאמר לבית יעקב ותגיד לבני ישראל" (שמות יט-ג

,רש"י - לבית יעקב - אלו הנשים תאמר להן בלשון רכה
ותגיד לבני ישראל - עונשים ודקדוקין פרש לזכרים

Just a bit silly. It's not that I don't see a distinction between boys and girls.

Maybe girls just listen better. :)
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Baruch

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #201 on: February 19, 2014, 09:48:52 PM »
Just a bit silly. It's not that I don't see a distinction between boys and girls.

Maybe girls just listen better. :)
Even when my sisters did really really bad stuff :)

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #202 on: February 19, 2014, 09:51:50 PM »
BTW, my kid looks more hurt when I put him in timeout, than when I give him the rare potch.

I can hear that. A potch is usually anger or frustration. Those are human traits, and kids can understand and forgive that... Timeout, on the other hand, is rejection. Kids hear "Mom/Dad aren't interested in seeing me now"
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline Baruch

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #203 on: February 19, 2014, 09:52:35 PM »
I can hear that. A potch is usually anger or frustration. Those are human traits, and kids can understand and forgive that... Timeout, on the other hand, is rejection.
a potch is NEVER (hopefully) anger or frustration.

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #204 on: February 19, 2014, 09:54:09 PM »
a potch is NEVER (hopefully) anger or frustration.

C'mon. I think it usually is. I'm not saying that's the sole reason, but that is usually what fuels it.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline elit

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #205 on: February 19, 2014, 09:55:17 PM »

C'mon. I think it usually is. I'm not saying that's the sole reason, but that is usually what fuels it.
in that case it is certainly is wrong

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #206 on: February 19, 2014, 09:55:57 PM »
It's not always like that. I know plenty of kids who know when their parents potch it means they are really not happy with you. My cousin gives a light slap on the hand. The kids get so insulted. It hurts their feelings more than anything.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline Baruch

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #207 on: February 19, 2014, 09:56:08 PM »
C'mon. I think it usually is. I'm not saying that's the sole reason, but that is usually what fuels it.
Then it's wrong. If to potch or not to potch is not a big decision by you, than you should never potch. I don't think you should potch on the spur of the moment.

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #208 on: February 19, 2014, 10:03:21 PM »
I'm not saying potching is ideal.

I'm saying there are far worse things a parent can do to their child than a small potch, even one that is caused by anger or frustration.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #209 on: February 19, 2014, 10:04:58 PM »
I'm not saying potching is ideal.

I'm saying there are far worse things a parent can do to their child a small potch, even one that is caused by anger or frustration.

I've seen People potch their kids out of frustration and I've seen people potch out of frustration/anger/dislike  and it's different.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline wayfe

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #210 on: February 19, 2014, 10:06:51 PM »
I've seen People potch their kids out of frustration and I've seen people potch out of frustration/anger/dislike  and it's different.

Dislike? That's a completely different issue.
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned."
Richard Feynman

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #211 on: February 19, 2014, 10:09:43 PM »
Dislike? That's a completely different issue.

I agree. It's the same thing with yelling at your kid etc. When it's combined with dislike it's a big problem.

"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #212 on: February 19, 2014, 10:22:39 PM »
When we were growing up, not that long ago, the rebbeim in school used to slap daily. Now kids are to emotionally weak to handle it.

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #213 on: February 19, 2014, 10:24:44 PM »
When we were growing up, not that long ago, the rebbeim in school used to slap daily. Now kids are to emotionally weak to handle it.

The Rebbeim also used to belt kids and basically beat them up.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline meshugener

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #214 on: February 19, 2014, 10:29:39 PM »
The Rebbeim also used to belt kids and basically beat them up.
please tell me you're not serious.
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Offline Menachem613

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #215 on: February 19, 2014, 10:29:49 PM »

When we were growing up, not that long ago, the rebbeim in school used to slap daily. Now kids are to emotionally weak to handle it.

My pre-1a rebbe would even hang his different length sticks on the wall for ease of access. His wooden ruler, however, was kept in his desk.

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #216 on: February 19, 2014, 10:32:51 PM »
please tell me you're not serious.

Why wouldn't I be serious? Most the stories I know happened in Israel. I have plenty of relatives with crazy stories. Most of these guys are in their 30's now.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline newcomer

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #217 on: February 19, 2014, 10:49:58 PM »
Why wouldn't I be serious? Most the stories I know happened in Israel. I have plenty of relatives with crazy stories. Most of these guys are in their 30's now.
And we grew up in the states and all my brothers had stories of that happening to them, so it wasn't just Israel.

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #218 on: February 19, 2014, 11:04:16 PM »
The Rebbeim also used to belt kids and basically beat them up.
I had one rebbe who used to really let lose.
The rest were standard "come here, take of your glasses" . those were the days :)

Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #219 on: February 19, 2014, 11:49:45 PM »
When we were growing up, not that long ago, the rebbeim in school used to slap daily. Now kids are to emotionally weak to handle it.

Maybe the rebbeim then were too emotionally weak to not hit. That surge of violence is the result of Hitler and the holocaust, and thank goodness the effect has started to wear off.

I used to listen to the horror stories from somewhat older relatives - and they were sickening. I myself wasn't hit as often by rebbeim but the few times were more than enough.
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