Poll

Do you hit your children, and why/why not?

Heck yeah!
11 (14.1%)
Never!
15 (19.2%)
I try not to but when they really get crazy...
9 (11.5%)
Only for Chinuch or life threatening situations.
33 (42.3%)
I don't but my spouse does.
1 (1.3%)
You mean people still do this? *shocked*
9 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 78

Author Topic: Do you hit your kids?  (Read 32412 times)

Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2014, 02:26:35 PM »
I gotta admit you make DDF an exciting place to hang out.
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #41 on: February 19, 2014, 02:29:16 PM »
Interesting that exactly 7 out of 21 voters don't hit their kid.

2/3rds perfectly represents the ABC poll of Americans that I linked.
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Offline meshugener

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #42 on: February 19, 2014, 02:30:29 PM »
I have another question: for those who do hit, at what age was the first time your kid got that lovely slap ?
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Online Lou Bob

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #43 on: February 19, 2014, 02:31:28 PM »
I have another question: for those who do hit, at what age was the first time your kid got that lovely slap ?
and why?
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Offline george

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2014, 02:32:42 PM »
Any situation where the child's well being is in grave danger (such as running in the street) and your hitting them is the most effective way to prevent this from happening. I would add that even in such situations the parent must be certain that they are not hitting out of anger or frustration.
I'm unsure if you are referring to preventing the child from doing dangerous things in the future, or if you're talking about stopping a child who is in the act of doing something dangerous. Either way, I disagree:

 If you are referring to the most effective way to stop a child who is in the act of running into the street or touching the stove, hitting is certainly not the best way to accomplish that. If you are in close enough proximity to hit, then you would be much wiser to grab the kid by the arm and forcibly move them away from the street or stove. That action would save more lives than hitting would, most definitely. If you are not in close enough proximity to grab the child, and the child is about to run into the street or touch the stove, you should scream for them to stop and hope it works.

If you are referring to the most effective way to prevent the child from running into the street and touching the stove in the future, hitting, again, is a far cry from the most effective method. Depending on the child's age, different methods may be the most effective, but hitting is not even in the discussion in my book.

Offline elit

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2014, 02:32:48 PM »

Interesting that exactly 7 out of 21 voters don't hit their kid.

2/3rds perfectly represents the ABC poll of Americans that I linked.
is there a poll that i don't see on the app?
21 people is not exactly a scientific study

Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #46 on: February 19, 2014, 02:37:01 PM »
In principle, I agree. However, I personally believe you can make the same point verbally. Chastise the kid to the point of tears and you accomplish the same thing

Verbally abusing kids by yelling at them to the point of tears is the same as hitting. I would argue that "sticks and stones..."
My point is, that if you believe that today's children are extra sensitive and cannot deal with a potch, they most certainly cannot deal with a "verbal potch" either. 

Offline AnonymousUser

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #47 on: February 19, 2014, 02:46:46 PM »
is there a poll that i don't see on the app?
21 people is not exactly a scientific study
Polls don't show on Tapatalk.

Offline Something Fishy

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #48 on: February 19, 2014, 02:47:47 PM »
is there a poll that i don't see on the app?
21 people is not exactly a scientific study

No polls on Tapatalk.
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #49 on: February 19, 2014, 02:57:22 PM »
What kids are missing these days is a little discipline. Smack em till they learn the lesson.

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Offline CountValentine

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #50 on: February 19, 2014, 02:58:42 PM »
I have another question: for those who do hit, at what age was the first time your kid got that lovely slap ?
At birth.
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Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #51 on: February 19, 2014, 02:59:24 PM »

Offline Sport

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #52 on: February 19, 2014, 03:02:06 PM »

I'm unsure if you are referring to preventing the child from doing dangerous things in the future, or if you're talking about stopping a child who is in the act of doing something dangerous. Either way, I disagree:

 If you are referring to the most effective way to stop a child who is in the act of running into the street or touching the stove, hitting is certainly not the best way to accomplish that. If you are in close enough proximity to hit, then you would be much wiser to grab the kid by the arm and forcibly move them away from the street or stove. That action would save more lives than hitting would, most definitely. If you are not in close enough proximity to grab the child, and the child is about to run into the street or touch the stove, you should scream for them to stop and hope it works.

If you are referring to the most effective way to prevent the child from running into the street and touching the stove in the future, hitting, again, is a far cry from the most effective method. Depending on the child's age, different methods may be the most effective, but hitting is not even in the discussion in my book.
I was referring to preventing the child from running in the street in the future. As to whether hitting is the most effective way to accomplish this was not my point ( although I was assuming it is). My point was that although hitting (or other quick fixes) may be the most effective way to get quick results it is almost never warranted because parenting is not just about getting  children to behave. It's a life long process and trading quick results for long term ones is short sighted.That being said there are situations where we need the quick result, like when child is running in the street, And must trade in the long term results for short term gains.

Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #53 on: February 19, 2014, 03:06:58 PM »
Speaking to a 'hitting parent', think about the last time you spanked your child. Think about the mood you were in. If you had just received a huge salary bonus or raise, and had been in a terrific mood, do you think you'd have still hit your child?

Probably not.

That means that the spanking can be attributed to your mood rather than the child's behavior.

Just something to think about.
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Online Lou Bob

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #54 on: February 19, 2014, 03:08:19 PM »
Speaking to a 'hitting parent', think about the last time you spanked your child. Think about the mood you were in. If you had just received a huge salary bonus or raise, and had been in a terrific mood, do you think you'd have still hit your child?

Probably not.

That means that the spanking can be attributed to your mood rather than the child's behavior.

Just something to think about.
ah. So if you just got a nice raise at work, ur gonna let ur kid run into the street, cuz of ur mood?
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Offline Ergel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #55 on: February 19, 2014, 03:09:57 PM »
Verbally abusing kids by yelling at them to the point of tears is the same as hitting. I would argue that "sticks and stones..."
My point is, that if you believe that today's children are extra sensitive and cannot deal with a potch, they most certainly cannot deal with a "verbal potch" either. 
I agree. Again we are talking about a situation where the kid needs to be taught that walking into the street (or climbing into a hot oven, depending on which child we are talking about) is life-threatening. I understand hitting in such a situation. I think verbally chastising is one step below that and that is what I choose to do. If you do anything less in such a situation I believe you are endangering the kid
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Offline Ergel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #56 on: February 19, 2014, 03:11:05 PM »
You need to change the poll "chinuch or life threatening situations" are not the same thing
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Offline rots5

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #57 on: February 19, 2014, 03:12:19 PM »
can we first determine at what age (one who does hit their kids) starts at. my kids to young. OP please put a - i am not sure yet.
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Offline churnbabychurn

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #58 on: February 19, 2014, 03:13:37 PM »
Re Child running in the street "heter": Child breaks expensive glass at shabbos table, father blows up and yells etc.
Child plays with a muktza toy, father gently admonishes.
What really bothers the father? What does the child learn from this?
[/pre][/pre][/pre][/pre]
[/sup][/sup][/sup][/sup][/sup][/sup]

Offline sky121

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #59 on: February 19, 2014, 03:19:12 PM »
Speaking to a 'hitting parent', think about the last time you spanked your child. Think about the mood you were in. If you had just received a huge salary bonus or raise, and had been in a terrific mood, do you think you'd have still hit your child?

Probably not.

That means that the spanking can be attributed to your mood rather than the child's behavior.

Just something to think about.

A hitting parent and one that gives a potch once in a blue moon are two different things.

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