Poll

Do you hit your children, and why/why not?

Heck yeah!
11 (14.1%)
Never!
15 (19.2%)
I try not to but when they really get crazy...
9 (11.5%)
Only for Chinuch or life threatening situations.
33 (42.3%)
I don't but my spouse does.
1 (1.3%)
You mean people still do this? *shocked*
9 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 78

Author Topic: Do you hit your kids?  (Read 21888 times)

Offline Penguin711

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2014, 01:41:28 PM »

For example?

Kid running into the street. Touching fire/the stove. Etc. A one time event that they need to learn something crucial that isn't sufficient taught verbally.

Offline Sport

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #21 on: February 19, 2014, 01:42:22 PM »

For example?
Any situation where the child's well being is in grave danger (such as running in the street) and your hitting them is the most effective way to prevent this from happening. I would add that even in such situations the parent must be certain that they are not hitting out of anger or frustration.

Offline elit

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #22 on: February 19, 2014, 01:44:27 PM »

Without elaborating, as King Solomon says when you never hit your kids, it means you don't like them. It definitely has to be done with Seichel, meaning you can't hit your kid because you're posting on DDF and he keeps on shlepping you to play with him, just get off DDF and do what a father has to do. Dont get in Kays and give him a smake. etc etc etc I am always thinking, do I wonna smake him because he shouldn't do it next time OR because im angry, you can't hit because you're angry.
i think almost universally all present day gedolim do not feel the Talmud and king Solomon's lines about hitting children apply today

Offline Moishel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #23 on: February 19, 2014, 01:45:28 PM »
Without elaborating, as King Solomon says when you never hit your kids, it means you don't like them. It definitely has to be done with Seichel, meaning you can't hit your kid because you're posting on DDF and he keeps on shlepping you to play with him, just get off DDF and do what a father has to do. Dont get in Kays and give him a smake. etc etc etc I am always thinking, do I wonna smake him because he shouldn't do it next time OR because im angry, you can't hit because you're angry.
You seriously smake your kids?

Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #24 on: February 19, 2014, 01:45:53 PM »
Kid running into the street. Touching fire/the stove. Etc. A one time event that they need to learn something crucial that isn't sufficient taught verbally.

Any situation where the child's well being is in grave danger (such as running in the street) and your hitting them is the most effective way to prevent this from happening. I would add that even in such situations the parent must be certain that they are not hitting out of anger or frustration.

Actually, negative reinforcement will only prevent your child from doing that behavior in front of the parents but will increase their desire to do it away from the parents.
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Offline Moishel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #25 on: February 19, 2014, 01:46:40 PM »

Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #26 on: February 19, 2014, 01:49:42 PM »
I only hit my children in self defense...

Offline Ergel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #27 on: February 19, 2014, 01:51:58 PM »
Kid running into the street. Touching fire/the stove. Etc. A one time event that they need to learn something crucial that isn't sufficient taught verbally.
In principle, I agree. However, I personally believe you can make the same point verbally. Chastise the kid to the point of tears and you accomplish the same thing
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Offline ilherman

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #28 on: February 19, 2014, 01:52:30 PM »
You seriously smake your kids?
I think the OP asked not to get personal....

I probably smaked 3 times (my kid is 3) and to mention, smaking does not mean beating up a kid, just taking his hands and give a little Dada is more then enough (it shouldn't hurt them, they get the message anyways)
You can say what you think when you think what you say.

Offline Dr Moose

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #29 on: February 19, 2014, 01:54:06 PM »
I only hit my children in self defense...
:))
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Offline Moishel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #30 on: February 19, 2014, 01:54:44 PM »
Actually, negative reinforcement will only prevent your child from doing that behavior in front of the parents but will increase their desire to do it away from the parents.
Hitting is not negative reinforcement, negative reinforcement means removing a positive stimuli, i.e. timeout or taking away a toy.

Offline Lou Bob

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #31 on: February 19, 2014, 01:54:50 PM »
What kids are missing these days is a little discipline. Smack em till they learn the lesson.
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Offline Ergel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #32 on: February 19, 2014, 01:55:07 PM »
i think almost universally all present day gedolim do not feel the Talmud and king Solomon's lines about hitting children apply today
I assume they think it applies just define it as discipline
Life isn't about checking the boxes. Nobody cares.

Offline Moishel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #33 on: February 19, 2014, 01:56:50 PM »
I think the OP asked not to get personal....

I probably smaked 3 times (my kid is 3) and to mention, smaking does not mean beating up a kid, just taking his hands and give a little Dada is more then enough (it shouldn't hurt them, they get the message anyways)
I still can't believe you smake them, if you would just be smacking them then we can debate pro and con, but smaking is inexcusable.

Offline elit

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #34 on: February 19, 2014, 01:58:30 PM »

In principle, I agree. However, I personally believe you can make the same point verbally. Chastise the kid to the point of tears and you accomplish the same thing
i am not sure that does less negative damage

Offline elit

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #35 on: February 19, 2014, 02:00:29 PM »

I still can't believe you smake them, if you would just be smacking them then we can debate pro and con, but smaking is inexcusable.
so ur the רשי/רן guy

Offline Joe4007

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #36 on: February 19, 2014, 02:01:44 PM »
I still can't believe you smake them, if you would just be smacking them then we can debate pro and con, but smaking is inexcusable.
;D

Offline Sport

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #37 on: February 19, 2014, 02:11:44 PM »

Hitting is not negative reinforcement, negative reinforcement means removing a positive stimuli, i.e. timeout or taking away a toy.
+1 Additionally, the negative outcome that the op described is a result of constant negative reinforcement. The intent in these situations is that it should not be recurring by making a strong enough impact on the kid that he/she doesn't do it again.

Offline meshugener

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #38 on: February 19, 2014, 02:19:03 PM »
Without getting personal please...
I gotta admit you make DDF an exciting place to hang out.
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Offline meshugener

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2014, 02:23:19 PM »
I only hit my children in self defense...
LOL
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