Poll

Do you hit your children, and why/why not?

Heck yeah!
11 (14.1%)
Never!
15 (19.2%)
I try not to but when they really get crazy...
9 (11.5%)
Only for Chinuch or life threatening situations.
33 (42.3%)
I don't but my spouse does.
1 (1.3%)
You mean people still do this? *shocked*
9 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 78

Author Topic: Do you hit your kids?  (Read 15348 times)

Offline Moishel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #30 on: February 19, 2014, 01:54:44 PM »
Actually, negative reinforcement will only prevent your child from doing that behavior in front of the parents but will increase their desire to do it away from the parents.
Hitting is not negative reinforcement, negative reinforcement means removing a positive stimuli, i.e. timeout or taking away a toy.

Online Lou Bob

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #31 on: February 19, 2014, 01:54:50 PM »
What kids are missing these days is a little discipline. Smack em till they learn the lesson.
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Offline Ergel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #32 on: February 19, 2014, 01:55:07 PM »
i think almost universally all present day gedolim do not feel the Talmud and king Solomon's lines about hitting children apply today
I assume they think it applies just define it as discipline
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Offline Moishel

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #33 on: February 19, 2014, 01:56:50 PM »
I think the OP asked not to get personal....

I probably smaked 3 times (my kid is 3) and to mention, smaking does not mean beating up a kid, just taking his hands and give a little Dada is more then enough (it shouldn't hurt them, they get the message anyways)
I still can't believe you smake them, if you would just be smacking them then we can debate pro and con, but smaking is inexcusable.

Offline elit

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #34 on: February 19, 2014, 01:58:30 PM »

In principle, I agree. However, I personally believe you can make the same point verbally. Chastise the kid to the point of tears and you accomplish the same thing
i am not sure that does less negative damage

Offline elit

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #35 on: February 19, 2014, 02:00:29 PM »

I still can't believe you smake them, if you would just be smacking them then we can debate pro and con, but smaking is inexcusable.
so ur the רשי/רן guy

Offline Joe4007

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #36 on: February 19, 2014, 02:01:44 PM »
I still can't believe you smake them, if you would just be smacking them then we can debate pro and con, but smaking is inexcusable.
;D

Offline Sport

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #37 on: February 19, 2014, 02:11:44 PM »

Hitting is not negative reinforcement, negative reinforcement means removing a positive stimuli, i.e. timeout or taking away a toy.
+1 Additionally, the negative outcome that the op described is a result of constant negative reinforcement. The intent in these situations is that it should not be recurring by making a strong enough impact on the kid that he/she doesn't do it again.

Offline meshugener

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #38 on: February 19, 2014, 02:19:03 PM »
Without getting personal please...
I gotta admit you make DDF an exciting place to hang out.
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Offline meshugener

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2014, 02:23:19 PM »
I only hit my children in self defense...
LOL
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2014, 02:26:35 PM »
I gotta admit you make DDF an exciting place to hang out.
;)
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Offline yehuda S

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #41 on: February 19, 2014, 02:29:16 PM »
Interesting that exactly 7 out of 21 voters don't hit their kid.

2/3rds perfectly represents the ABC poll of Americans that I linked.
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Offline meshugener

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #42 on: February 19, 2014, 02:30:29 PM »
I have another question: for those who do hit, at what age was the first time your kid got that lovely slap ?
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Online Lou Bob

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #43 on: February 19, 2014, 02:31:28 PM »
I have another question: for those who do hit, at what age was the first time your kid got that lovely slap ?
and why?
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Offline george

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Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2014, 02:32:42 PM »
Any situation where the child's well being is in grave danger (such as running in the street) and your hitting them is the most effective way to prevent this from happening. I would add that even in such situations the parent must be certain that they are not hitting out of anger or frustration.
I'm unsure if you are referring to preventing the child from doing dangerous things in the future, or if you're talking about stopping a child who is in the act of doing something dangerous. Either way, I disagree:

 If you are referring to the most effective way to stop a child who is in the act of running into the street or touching the stove, hitting is certainly not the best way to accomplish that. If you are in close enough proximity to hit, then you would be much wiser to grab the kid by the arm and forcibly move them away from the street or stove. That action would save more lives than hitting would, most definitely. If you are not in close enough proximity to grab the child, and the child is about to run into the street or touch the stove, you should scream for them to stop and hope it works.

If you are referring to the most effective way to prevent the child from running into the street and touching the stove in the future, hitting, again, is a far cry from the most effective method. Depending on the child's age, different methods may be the most effective, but hitting is not even in the discussion in my book.