Poll

Do you hit your children, and why/why not?

Heck yeah!
11 (14.1%)
Never!
15 (19.2%)
I try not to but when they really get crazy...
9 (11.5%)
Only for Chinuch or life threatening situations.
33 (42.3%)
I don't but my spouse does.
1 (1.3%)
You mean people still do this? *shocked*
9 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 78

Author Topic: Do you hit your kids?  (Read 32438 times)

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4399
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #120 on: February 19, 2014, 04:35:25 PM »
Iam not one who just hits his kids all the time for no reason. If I see my child run in to the street or do something dangerous or life threatening I will give him/her a slap to remind them not to do it again. I think that giving a slap will leave more of an impression then just telling a 2-3 year old not to do it.
And if you saw your wife do something dangerous?

Offline Lou Bob

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Apr 2010
  • Posts: 2036
  • Total likes: 152
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
  • Location: Hidden City
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #121 on: February 19, 2014, 04:36:12 PM »
And if you saw your wife do something dangerous?
standby  ;D
Always use an Amex, you'll thank me one day.

Offline yehuda S

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 764
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #122 on: February 19, 2014, 04:36:24 PM »

Iam not one who just hits his kids all the time for no reason. If I see my child run in to the street or do something dangerous or life threatening I will give him/her a slap to remind them not to do it again. I think that giving a slap will leave more of an impression then just telling a 2-3 year old not to do it.

And what an impression! Just not the one you want.
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline judahk88

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 1374
  • Total likes: 3
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #123 on: February 19, 2014, 04:36:46 PM »
Ok.

But you're still are trying to influence what they do. Why not use the best methods?
Because an adult will listen to reason with words a child won't. If you tell an adult "no you can not have that candy" they will understand, but if you tell a child that they will start crying and screaming (not all kids)

Offline yehuda S

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 764
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #124 on: February 19, 2014, 04:38:16 PM »
Think about how incredibly unacceptable it is for adults to hit other adults in society, even when taunted or angered. It is almost universally considered terrible behavior.

Doing it to a little kid is so much worse.
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline judahk88

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 1374
  • Total likes: 3
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #125 on: February 19, 2014, 04:38:39 PM »
And what an impression! Just not the one you want.
Do you think that a child who got smacked as a kid for going into the street or doing something dangerous is scarred?
I know I was hit in those instances as a child and I think I turned out ok.

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 4183
  • Total likes: 447
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #126 on: February 19, 2014, 04:39:01 PM »
Because an adult will listen to reason with words a child won't. If you tell an adult "no you can not have that candy" they will understand, but if you tell a child that they will start crying and screaming (not all kids)

What if your spouse refuses to listen to reason on something?

Offline Ches

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2011
  • Posts: 33
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #127 on: February 19, 2014, 04:39:18 PM »
חושך שבטו שונא את בנו
was said by חכם מכל האדם

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 4183
  • Total likes: 447
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #128 on: February 19, 2014, 04:39:38 PM »
Do you think that a child who got smacked as a kid for going into the street or doing something dangerous is scarred?
I know I was hit in those instances as a child and I think I turned out ok.

What do you mean you turned out ok? You're arguing here to beat little kids!

Offline judahk88

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 1374
  • Total likes: 3
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #129 on: February 19, 2014, 04:39:41 PM »
Think about how incredibly unacceptable it is for adults to hit other adults in society, even when taunted or angered. It is almost universally considered terrible behavior.

Doing it to a little kid is so much worse.
You are correct, but you cannot compare the 2.

Offline judahk88

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 1374
  • Total likes: 3
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #130 on: February 19, 2014, 04:40:26 PM »
What do you mean you turned out ok? You're arguing here to beat little kids!
woah!! I didn't say "beat". Big difference between beat and hit when they do somethong dangerous!

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4399
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #131 on: February 19, 2014, 04:40:51 PM »
You are correct, but you cannot compare the 2.
That's right, adults will fight back...

Offline yehuda S

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 764
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #132 on: February 19, 2014, 04:40:54 PM »

What do you mean you turned out ok? You're arguing here to beat little kids!
LOL!!
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline Ches

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2011
  • Posts: 33
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #133 on: February 19, 2014, 04:40:58 PM »
and not שונא את אשתו
cause hitting is only made for chinuch not for persuasiveness.

Offline judahk88

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 1374
  • Total likes: 3
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: New York
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #134 on: February 19, 2014, 04:41:07 PM »
That's right, adults will fight back...
Lol some adults

Offline elit

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jun 2008
  • Posts: 1349
  • Total likes: 118
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #135 on: February 19, 2014, 04:42:41 PM »

discipline does not equal hitting.
never said it did

Offline yehuda S

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 764
  • Total likes: 11
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #136 on: February 19, 2014, 04:42:53 PM »

חושך שבטו שונא את בנו
was said by חכם מכל האדם
People are so frum when it comes to this.

Why don't we start with the Deoraisas first. Or how about Lashon Hara?
Work is what you do between vacations.

Offline churnbabychurn

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 7355
  • Total likes: 301
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #137 on: February 19, 2014, 04:45:21 PM »
Goodness, the argument for corporal punishment of children is to instill in them the concept of consequences to their actions. This is a very foreign idea to many adults these days.
There is a debate as to whether people today bichlal act after weighing the reward and consequences, or if we are solely a reward based society.
Hitting an adult has no shichus to the discussion.   

Offline Ches

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: Nov 2011
  • Posts: 33
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #138 on: February 19, 2014, 04:45:36 PM »
People are so frum when it comes to this.

Why don't we start with the Deoraisas first. Or how about Lashon Hara?
It's not a mitzvah he said it as a fact.

Offline mod

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 797
  • Total likes: 16
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Do you hit your kids?
« Reply #139 on: February 19, 2014, 04:47:20 PM »
a spouse is Diff as they have the ability to think, as well as life experience.
A kid has neither (or actually, a very limited amount of both)
That's why hitting a spouse makes more sense. An adult understands. The child just thinks you hate them.