I have a feeling you just got married. You're a little inexperienced. I see this with 99% of newlyweds.
Wait, give it time and you'll slowly land from your honeymoon highness.
You'll realize life is not made just of a bed of roses, sometimes we have to hit our spouse, sometimes they hit back.
Thats life, thats what everyone does, thats what your parents did and that's what you'll realize sooner rather than later.
When I was taking Chosson classes and learning Harchakos our teacher told us that only a Negi'ah Derech Chibah was Assur, one Chosson asked jokingly if you are allowed to hit your wife? The teacher answered with the following story.
A woman came to her Rov to complain that her husband was always hitting her, the Rov called in the husband and admonished him and told him that it's Assur to hit his wife. The husband accepted that and left. A few weeks later the Rov sees the wife and asks her how is the Shalom Bayis? The woman replied "Oy! It's terrible! Now he doesn't even hit me anymore...".
The Chosson teacher concluded "Apparently hitting your wife can be Derech Chibah..."
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