New Shidduch Idea

[Dan]

In general I think it's unhelpful when guys get married when they DON'T feel like anything is missing in their lives.

TBH I didn't feel I was missing something at 23 when I got married.  But I was up for the adventure.

[chevron]

You yada yada yada'd over the best part

OH IM SORRY, should I tell you how I cry in my pillow every night? no.. because I dont... should I tell you about the friends that cry to me about their unhappy marriages ?!? that I can tell you...

[sky121]

TBH I didn't feel I was missing something at 23 when I got married.  But I was up for the adventure.

Up for the adventure or the desire to be married?
And obviously I don't speak for everyone but I feel like if a guy doesn't have the desire to want to be married it can cause bigger problems what might otherwise be.

[Dan]

OH IM SORRY, should I tell you how I cry in my pillow every night? no.. because I dont... should I tell you about the friends that cry to me about their unhappy marriages ?!? that I can tell you...

If a quarter of them are cheaters I'm not surprised they're unhappy
Tell their wives and put them out of their misery...

[chevron]

Exactly why older singles tend to stay single.  They become set in their ways and aren't interested in changing. And that's evident from the couple of dates they begrudgingly agree to go on.
Your bashert will be sent like the boat to the person drowning who dies waiving it off as Gd himself will save him.

If you saw the shiduch suggestions sent to my mother, you will realize why even SHE doesnt bother me any more.

As such, one must ask, why for example litvish girls wont date chabad guys ?

[Dan]

Up for the adventure or the desire to be married?
And obviously I don't speak for everyone but I feel like if a guy doesn't have the desire to want to be married it can cause bigger problems what might otherwise be.

In a perfect world I'd probably have waited a couple years.
In our system older guys are suspected of being abnormal so that wasn't really a viable option.

But I have no regrets.

[sky121]

Just out of curiosity in your personal experiences what's the general reason these guys are so unhappy?

If there is one.

Everyone has friends who are unhappy or going through a rough time. 

[Ergel]

OH IM SORRY, should I tell you how I cry in my pillow every night? no.. because I dont... should I tell you about the friends that cry to me about their unhappy marriages ?!? that I can tell you...

You missed the Seinfeld reference. No one got that?
[ Invalid YouTube link ]

[sky121]

In a perfect world I'd probably have waited a couple years.
In our system older guys are suspected of being abnormal so that wasn't really a viable option.

I hear. Makes perfect sense. It would be nice to have a few more years before being considered "old" that is for sure.

[chevron]

If a quarter of them are cheaters I'm not surprised they're unhappy
Tell their wives and put them out of their misery...

V'dal... btw my shirazi friend wont get married because.. get this: hamadani guys are pigs therani guys are meh... the available shirazi guys are bald, fat and over 35.. even my local lebaneese grocery store was shocked at the tribal crap

And as for ashki guys, lets not even venture there

[Dan]

You missed the Seinfeld reference. No one got that?

I got it
But apparently in his circles that comes anyway

[Dan]

I hear. Makes perfect sense. It would be nice to have a few more years before being considered "old" that is for sure.

It's unfortunate that being 25 and single in our world is like being milk on its expiration date.

[sky121]

If you saw the shiduch suggestions sent to my mother, you will realize why even SHE doesnt bother me any more.

As such, one must ask, why for example litvish girls wont date chabad guys ?

Marrying a chabad guy is a bigger deal than marrying someone in their own communities. It means being part of a whole different community, having pretty different minhagin, almost a different culture, sending your kids to a completely different school etc.  I'm not saying a girl can't but I hear why it's a bigger deal.

[Dan]

It's unfortunate that being 25 and single in our world is like being milk on its expiration date.

Even more unfortunate are the plethora of couples who have kids 9 months to the day from their wedding and are divorced before a year is up.

[notanonymous]

TBH I didn't feel I was missing something at 23 when I got married.  But I was up for the tax break.

ftfy

[churnbabychurn]

Even more unfortunate are the plethora of couples who have kids 9 months to the day from their wedding and are divorced before a year is up.

they cheaters?

[sky121]

Even more unfortunate are the plethora of couples who have kids 9 months to the day from their wedding and are divorced before a year is up.

Yeah. I'm kind of pro waiting. Not even as a "just in case" but more to give the couple a chance to get to know each other and get to work on being married and the changes that come with it.

[SamKey]

Where  is my don't feed the trolls sign when I need it

Got it

[Dan]

Marrying a chabad guy is a bigger deal than marrying someone in their own communities. It means being part of a whole different community, having pretty different minhagin, almost a different culture, sending your kids to a completely different school etc.  I'm not saying a girl can't but I hear why it's a bigger deal.

=More likely to have serious disagreements in hashkafa and how to raise the kids.

[Dan]

ftfy

ROFL. Marriage being cheaper than being single.  That's a good one.