New Shidduch Idea

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LOL! Real story?

Yep..

[ckmk47]

You're like my father, he tells me any thing besides learning torah all day is a waste of time (I was discussing an issue pertaining to communal work which I think is a mitzvah) so I said "so my whole life is a waste ?"  so he says "yes" I got so mad I said "well then I was a shichvas zera levatala, better go do teshuva"

Man I didnt talk to him for like a year after

Makes me sad that there are parents and children in such bad relationships.
Makes me understand your reluctance to form a long term relationship ie marriage.
I thought in Lubavitch community work was equal to learning Torah.

Emotional neglect doesn't need to be repeated.  You can stay engaged with your child if you make a point to. 

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Makes me sad that there are parents and children in such bad relationships.
Makes me understand your reluctance to form a long term relationship ie marriage.
I thought in Lubavitch community work was equal to learning Torah.

Emotional neglect doesn't need to be repeated.  You can stay engaged with your child if you make a point to.

.... one reason im not in a rush to marry and fear having kids. This is not about lubavitch, its just circumstances.. Also pointing out why I deal with life and service of G-d in a different way, if youve been told that everything you're doing is a waste of time and should be learning torah, you eventually feel you're life is a waste.. "v'gam im yihiye b'einav k'rasha yihiye atzuv velo yachol laavod es hashem besimacha uvetuv levav"

Id like to at least think I serve God and do mitzvos with joy

[aygart]

.... one reason im not in a rush to marry and fear having kids.

it looks like you need to get over some issues from your childhood more than anything.

[aygart]

As are most BTs...

see Igros Moshe about this.

[aygart]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that moving away from home is a terrible idea for singles. They think it'll gain them "independence" but that "independence" will be the beginning of their demise. Once you live alone, or even with roommates, it's hard to adapt back to sharing your life with someone. It becomes very convenient to live without responsibilities. I don't mean the cooking and cleaning type of responsibilities; rather the sharing your life type and having to answer to someone. Obviously there are situations which call for one to move out, but IMO it should be avoided if at all possible. Everyone talks about 'older' singles being stuck in their ways, I think it stems from this.

Go ahead and blast away now...I'm ready.

This is exactly what R Avigdor Miller said frequently

[Achas Veachas]

see Igros Moshe about this.

About women swimming in the ocean?

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This is exactly what R Avigdor Miller said frequently

You're generalizing... some people yes, others CANT get married till they work stuff out..

[good sam]

Id like to at least think I serve God and do mitzvos with joy

Still on the fence about whether this is a positive side effect to getting over guilt 

[Super Speed]

About women swimming in the ocean?

It could help but I would doubt that you can even count on that. Maybe he's referring to the fact that Torah can be mesaken Ben Nidah.

[henche]

About women swimming in the ocean?

IIRC, Rav Moshe said that the pgam of a ben niddah is they have azus. So if you meet a BT and they especially have azus, so maybe they are, but if they don't especially have azus, then you can assume the mother must have been tahor. Perhaps by swimming in ocean.

[Achas Veachas]

Still on the fence about whether this is a positive side effect to getting over guilt 

According to Tanya Perek 1:

תניא [בספ"ג דנדה] משביעים אותו תהי צדיק ואל תהי רשע ואפי' כל העולם כולו אומרים לך צדיק אתה היה בעיניך כרשע וצריך להבין... אם לא ירע לבבו כלל מזה יכול לבוא לידי קלות ח"ו.

[aygart]

You're generalizing... some people yes, others CANT get married till they work stuff out..

Every rule has exceptions, that doesn't mean the rule is wrong.

[good sam]

Question is: When a person is already overtaken by guilt that he's completely removed from avodas Hashem, should the avoda then be to get over the guilt, say OK, I do these aveiros, but I'm still a good person, I can still serve Hashem with happiness.  Not sure if the tanya would apply.

[Achas Veachas]

Question is: When a person is already overtaken by guilt that he's completely removed from avodas Hashem, should the avoda then be to get over the guilt, say OK, I do these aveiros, but I'm still a good person, I can still serve Hashem with happiness.  Not sure if the tanya would apply.

The Tanya addresses that, I only quotes the first line אידך זיל גמור...

[aygart]

see Igros Moshe about this.

About women swimming in the ocean?

It could help but I would doubt that you can even count on that. Maybe he's referring to the fact that Torah can be mesaken Ben Nidah.

IIRC, Rav Moshe said that the pgam of a ben niddah is they have azus. So if you meet a BT and they especially have azus, so maybe they are, but if they don't especially have azus, then you can assume the mother must have been tahor. Perhaps by swimming in ocean.

yes, yes, and yes. Not only the ocean but even a pool and more that is only pasul midirabanan.

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Question is: When a person is already overtaken by guilt that he's completely removed from avodas Hashem, should the avoda then be to get over the guilt, say OK, I do these aveiros, but I'm still a good person, I can still serve Hashem with happiness.  Not sure if the tanya would apply.

What guilt, i have different, bigger problems.. way too much for any of you to handle even if you were bored enough to hear

Ok, maybe a bit of guilt but thats bc I feel I let down some people I respected, but i'm sure they'd try to understand.

[yehuda S]

What guilt, i have different, bigger problems.. way too much for any of you to handle even if you were bored enough to hear

Ok, maybe a bit of guilt but thats bc I feel I let down some people I respected, but i'm sure they'd try to understand.

Are you employed?

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Are you employed?

In between vacations

[good sam]

simchasociety.com


Just saw this... Any thoughts?

Just saw this thread. Seems like a good idea. Anyone try it?