New Shidduch Idea

[sky121]

Other problems include lack of quality prospects.
Girls refusing to go out with Yeshivish boys if they have any sort of education or have been working at all.
Boys refusing to go out with girls without money.
Etc etc etc.

[notanonymous]

When did this age gap thing start? One year a hundred boys suddenly decided to marry girls four years younger?

I happen to believe that pickiness and obstinance, along with a limited desire to marry is the bigger problem.

I am an am haaretz when it comes to this topic, and I, myself am not sure of the opinions, but...

I hear your side, and think that pickiness, way of life, etc is a factor.  But, who says this 'crisis' is new.  It could be even in the alte heim and before this problem existed, except that: 1) with communication more advanced, we are more aware nowadays; 2) it was more accepted that unfortunately there would be girls who did not marry, where as nowadays with our wealth and education it is less accepted

Just an observation, feel free to tear it apart.  I will not defend my points, as they may just be pointless!

[SamKey]

i'd say 25% of the frum single community is sleeping around, roughly the same as the married ppl,

Get a life

[yehuda S]

i'd say 25% of the frum single community is sleeping around, roughly the same as the married ppl,

That is a LOT of lashon Horah. Or Rechilus (hopefully) slander. Let's put the breaks on this now.

[george]

That is a LOT of lashon Horah. Or Rechilus. Let's put the breaks on this now.

Motzi Shem Ra is what I'd call it.

[whYME]

i'd say 25% of the frum single community is sleeping around, roughly the same as the married ppl,

You must be using an extremely broad definition of "frum."


Not a chance in hell the number is anywhere close to that in my circles.

[SamKey]

That is a LOT of lashon Horah. Or Rechilus. Let's put the breaks on this now.

I'd rather make him feel like an idiot: Seriously 1/4 frum people that we all know sleep around??

[chevron]

You gotta be outta your mind, or you are one of those people who systematically exaggerate things for effect, and end up doing so even subconsciously.

On singles ? no.. maybe they lie, but oh they are at it, 1 night stands, friends with benefits, etc..married couples yes im just guesstimating based on what I hear.

i'm addressing 25% of singles, you need to address why the other 75% are not married.. you're ideas are no more substantiated than mine,. we are all just theorizing.

[Dan]

i'd say 25% of the frum single community is sleeping around, roughly the same as the married ppl,

You must be involved in some really strange circles.
Or is it triangles

[Saver2000]

You must be involved in some really strange circles.

+1

[sky121]

I don't know numbers but more and more with the things I hear all I can say is it's more people than we all think.
So while he may be exaggerating the numbers unfortunately I don't think he's making stuff up out of thin air.

[chevron]

I'd rather make him feel like an idiot: Seriously 1/4 frum people that we all know sleep around??

The BMG freezer accounts for chabad singles how ? I dont mind being made an idiot, i'm stating what ive seen.  i'm not saying the 25% are daily engaged in said activity's, but its the mindframe that really changes you, as a single adult male in this situation im being honest.

[SamKey]

I don't know numbers but more and more with the things I hear all I can say is it's more people than we all think.

True but even 1% is more than most think

[chevron]

You must be involved in some really strange circles.
Or is it triangles

Explain to me how we have a shiduch crisis in chabad thanks to the BMG freezer? or is it just Shmuli Boteach's imagination?

Vote to ban me, I stand by my words here.

[yehuda S]

I am an am haaretz when it comes to this topic, and I, myself am not sure of the opinions, but...

I hear your side, and think that pickiness, way of life, etc is a factor.  But, who says this 'crisis' is new.  It could be even in the alte heim and before this problem existed, except that: 1) with communication more advanced, we are more aware nowadays; 2) it was more accepted that unfortunately there would be girls who did not marry, where as nowadays with our wealth and education it is less accepted

Just an observation, feel free to tear it apart.  I will not defend my points, as they may just be pointless!

Here's another possibility. It would have been an issue in the heim. Ur so many women died in childbirth that many single girls became second wives. So everyone got married eventually. Today dying in childbirth B"H is extremely rare.

[sky121]

Is there such a shidduch crisis in chabad? I do get the feeling there aren't as many older singles walking around Chabad.

[aygart]

A demographer once told me that he is very unconvinced that there is a shidduch crisis at all. Assuming there is he is even less convinced that it has anything to with the age gap. He then gave a lengthy explanation why.

[Achas Veachas]

I am an am haaretz when it comes to this topic, and I, myself am not sure of the opinions, but...

I hear your side, and think that pickiness, way of life, etc is a factor.  But, who says this 'crisis' is new.  It could be even in the alte heim and before this problem existed, except that: 1) with communication more advanced, we are more aware nowadays; 2) it was more accepted that unfortunately there would be girls who did not marry, where as nowadays with our wealth and education it is less accepted

Just an observation, feel free to tear it apart.  I will not defend my points, as they may just be pointless!

In the Alte Heim out was unfortunately all too common for women to die in childbirth, second marriages were therefore fairy common which took many older girls of the market.

[SamKey]

as a single adult male in this situation im being honest.

[yehuda S]

I don't know numbers but more and more with the things I hear all I can say is it's more people than we all think.
So while he may be exaggerating the numbers unfortunately I don't think he's making stuff up out of thin air.

These people are only ruining their own lives.