« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 19 20 21 22 23 24 [25] 26 27 28 29 30   Go Down

Author Topic: New Shidduch Idea  (Read 70720 times)

Offline Expert Flyer

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 1
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: 1K or somewhere in transit
  • Programs: EL AL PLATINUM, *A G, *O SAPPHIRE, HUMAN RACE PLATINUM FOR LIFE, IRAN AIR PLUTONIUM
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #480 on: March 10, 2014, 11:51:41 AM »
Why not meet girls on your own or be set up by friends? Has worked best for me this way.
One problem is that feminism has infiltrated frum circles way too much
Logged

Offline ushdadude

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Apr 2013
  • Posts: 6379
  • Total likes: 974
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
  • Location: NY
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #481 on: March 10, 2014, 12:07:50 PM »
Quote from: Expert Flyer on March 10, 2014, 11:51:41 AM
Why not meet girls on your own or be set up by friends? Has worked best for me this way.
One problem is that feminism has infiltrated frum circles way too much

agreed
I was a hybrid. I was setup by a girl I went to school with but she acted like a shaddchin (which actually worked out really well)
Logged

Offline Menachem613

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Jun 2012
  • Posts: 1209
  • Total likes: 61
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: NYC
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #482 on: March 10, 2014, 12:10:04 PM »

Quote from: Expert Flyer on March 10, 2014, 11:51:41 AM
Why not meet girls on your own or be set up by friends? Has worked best for me this way.
One problem is that feminism has infiltrated frum circles way too much

Feminism in what way?
Logged

Offline Expert Flyer

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 1
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: 1K or somewhere in transit
  • Programs: EL AL PLATINUM, *A G, *O SAPPHIRE, HUMAN RACE PLATINUM FOR LIFE, IRAN AIR PLUTONIUM
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #483 on: March 10, 2014, 12:13:57 PM »
Quote from: Menachem613 on March 10, 2014, 12:10:04 PM
Feminism in what way?

When women on dates make me feel ashamed for who I am yet insist that I must be tolerant.
Example 2: considering halacha like a choice like mustard vs ketchup instead of viewing it as the right thing to do
Logged

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4789
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #484 on: March 10, 2014, 12:14:39 PM »
Quote from: Expert Flyer on March 10, 2014, 12:13:57 PM

Example 2: considering halacha like a choice like mustard vs ketchup instead of viewing it as the right thing to do
What's feminism got to do with it?
Logged

Offline Expert Flyer

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 1
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: 1K or somewhere in transit
  • Programs: EL AL PLATINUM, *A G, *O SAPPHIRE, HUMAN RACE PLATINUM FOR LIFE, IRAN AIR PLUTONIUM
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #485 on: March 10, 2014, 12:17:40 PM »
Quote from: Achas Veachas on March 10, 2014, 12:14:39 PM
What's feminism got to do with it?

"it's a woman's choice"
Never heard that one before?
Logged

Offline good sam

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jun 2011
  • Posts: 3524
  • Total likes: 558
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 10
    • View Profile
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #486 on: March 10, 2014, 12:44:00 PM »
Quote from: SamKey on March 04, 2014, 06:00:55 PM
simchasociety.com


Just saw this... Any thoughts?
Just saw this thread. Anyone think this is a good idea? Can it work?
Logged
If you don't care why would you comment?
HT: DMYD

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4789
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #487 on: March 10, 2014, 12:46:08 PM »
Quote from: Expert Flyer on March 10, 2014, 12:17:40 PM
"it's a woman's choice"
Never heard that one before?
Unfortunately that's an attitude that many young men have too...
Logged

Offline Sport

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 2365
  • Total likes: 103
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #488 on: March 10, 2014, 12:52:59 PM »
If anything the shidduch system suppress a women's choice. Girls don't get a list if guys names, and portfolios of resumes, they need to be lucky enough for a guy to grace them with a yes.
IMHO the shidduch system has been completely hijacked and abused to the advantage of shadchanim and "top" guys.
Logged

Offline Expert Flyer

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 1
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: 1K or somewhere in transit
  • Programs: EL AL PLATINUM, *A G, *O SAPPHIRE, HUMAN RACE PLATINUM FOR LIFE, IRAN AIR PLUTONIUM
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #489 on: March 10, 2014, 12:55:49 PM »
Quote from: Achas Veachas on March 10, 2014, 12:46:08 PM
Unfortunately that's an attitude that many young men have too...

I do believe it's a woman's choice. But it's also my choice to not marry a girl who treats halacha like a choice
Logged

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4789
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #490 on: March 10, 2014, 12:57:39 PM »
Quote from: Expert Flyer on March 10, 2014, 12:55:49 PM
I do believe it's a woman's choice. But it's also my choice to not marry a girl who treats halacha like a choice
Anyone tried forcing you to marry her? Find a girl who's Hashkafah matches yours.
Logged

Offline Expert Flyer

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 1
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: 1K or somewhere in transit
  • Programs: EL AL PLATINUM, *A G, *O SAPPHIRE, HUMAN RACE PLATINUM FOR LIFE, IRAN AIR PLUTONIUM
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #491 on: March 10, 2014, 01:00:47 PM »
Quote from: Achas Veachas on March 10, 2014, 12:57:39 PM
Anyone tried forcing you to marry her? Find a girl who's Hashkafah matches yours.

Exactly what I am trying to do
Logged

Offline ushdadude

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Apr 2013
  • Posts: 6379
  • Total likes: 974
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 5
    • View Profile
  • Location: NY
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #492 on: March 10, 2014, 01:11:45 PM »
Quote from: Sport on March 10, 2014, 12:52:59 PM
If anything the shidduch system suppress a women's choice. Girls don't get a list if guys names, and portfolios of resumes, they need to be lucky enough for a guy to grace them with a yes.
IMHO the shidduch system has been completely hijacked and abused to the advantage of shadchanim and "top" guys.

Sometimes having too many choices is as debilitating as having too few
Logged

Offline Expert Flyer

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 1
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: 1K or somewhere in transit
  • Programs: EL AL PLATINUM, *A G, *O SAPPHIRE, HUMAN RACE PLATINUM FOR LIFE, IRAN AIR PLUTONIUM
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #493 on: March 10, 2014, 01:12:56 PM »
That's just not true. Let everyone have the choice.
Guys don't have the top advantage as you claim
Logged

Offline Sport

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 2365
  • Total likes: 103
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #494 on: March 10, 2014, 01:14:46 PM »
Quote from: ushdadude on March 10, 2014, 01:11:45 PM
Sometimes having too many choices it's a debilitating as having too few
That's true, personally, When I was dating I tried very hard to keep my choices limited. It still doesn't change the fact that the girls have much more limitations vis a vis shidduch dating.
Logged

Offline MC

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2013
  • Posts: 1748
  • Total likes: 49
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Location: NY
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #495 on: March 10, 2014, 01:15:23 PM »

Quote from: Expert Flyer on March 10, 2014, 01:12:56 PM
That's just not true. Let everyone have the choice.
Guys don't have the top advantage as you claim

There's no comparison. Guys have girls lined up and out the door. Girls wait and wait for one guy to be suggested. Ask any parent who has tried to marry off one of each and they'll tell you it's true.
Logged

Offline MC

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Aug 2013
  • Posts: 1748
  • Total likes: 49
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Location: NY
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #496 on: March 10, 2014, 01:16:53 PM »

Quote from: Sport on March 10, 2014, 01:14:46 PM
That's true, personally, When I was dating I tried very hard to keep my choices limited. It still doesn't change the fact that the girls have much more limitations vis a vis shidduch dating.

I once heard a speaker give a very good exercise. They said to imagine you are only allowed to date ten girls (or guys) before you have to pick. You'll choose/vet your dates much more carefully and really make sure hashkafas match rather than going out with every girl.
Logged

Offline Expert Flyer

  • Dansdeals Bronze Elite
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 39
  • Total likes: 1
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Location: 1K or somewhere in transit
  • Programs: EL AL PLATINUM, *A G, *O SAPPHIRE, HUMAN RACE PLATINUM FOR LIFE, IRAN AIR PLUTONIUM
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #497 on: March 10, 2014, 01:18:13 PM »
Guys usually travel for dates and pick the tab.
I know people who spend over $12k on dates till they got married.

And not every guy has a 'list of girls' to choose from
Logged

Offline etech0

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 12921
  • Total likes: 3381
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Location: not lakewood
  • Programs: DDF
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #498 on: March 10, 2014, 01:20:00 PM »
And then how much does the girl's side pay for a wedding? Plus all that extra clothing she needed while in shidduchim...
don't start yelling about how different ppl do it differently. My point is that the boy's side is not the only side that's paying anything over here.
Logged
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.

Offline henche

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 4461
  • Total likes: 449
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
Re: New Shidduch Idea
« Reply #499 on: March 10, 2014, 01:20:29 PM »
Quote from: Expert Flyer on March 10, 2014, 01:18:13 PM
Guys usually travel for dates and pick the tab.
I know people who spend over $12k on dates till they got married.

And not every guy has a 'list of girls' to choose from

12k? That does not seem like very much. I bet I know people who have spent far more.

But it's still cheaper than being married.
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 19 20 21 22 23 24 [25] 26 27 28 29 30   Go Up
« previous next »