New Shidduch Idea

[sky121]

Crisis or not shidduchim can still be very hard and there does seem to be many older singles nowadays compared to even 10 and 20 years ago. 

[yehuda S]

In the Alte Heim out was unfortunately all too common for women to die in childbirth, second marriages were therefore fairy common which took many older girls of the market.

Plagiarism?? 

[chevron]

Is there such a shidduch crisis in chabad? I do get the feeling there aren't as many older singles walking around Chabad.

Go to CAY, look around.. the thing with chabad is that these singles are often in college, pursuing careers or just learning in 770, on shlichus etc.. but they are there

[sky121]

These people are only ruining their own lives.

I literally was just speaking to a 34 year old girl yesterday who basically said young guys don't want to date older girls and older guys "date" but many are all just sleeping around and having a good time and not even necessarily interested in getting married.

[Achas Veachas]

Plagiarism?? 

Sorry I'm on my phone so by the time I finished writing that up I saw a notice that there were 5 new responses, instead of trading through all of them I just took the risk and posted. Forgiveness requested...

[chevron]

These people are only ruining their own lives.

Maybe, but the fact remains... I can get off topic and compare to other issues the frum community has denied but I wont.

[Dan]

Is there such a shidduch crisis in chabad? I do get the feeling there aren't as many older singles walking around Chabad.

Chabad girls grow up knowing they're going to marry someone with an "unattractive" beard.  So the inverse of the normal situations happens, it's the guys with the worst beards that get the prettiest girls

At any rate I'm not involved close enough to know if there's a crisis or not but judging from marriage rates from my yeshiva classes it doesn't seem like it's a "crisis." But what do I know.

[Dan]

I literally was just speaking to a 34 year old girl yesterday who basically said young guys don't want to date older girls and older guys "date" but many are all just sleeping around and having a good time and not even necessarily interested in getting married.

There's usually a reason they're older and haven't found anyone...creeps will be creeps

[churnbabychurn]

you obviously have very little exposure to the yeshivish/heimishe frum  communities. The convo here is off because some are talking about apples , others oranges.
No disrespect.

[sky121]

Maybe that's where the shidduch crisis comes from... No guys for the older girls to date.

[chevron]

I literally was just speaking to a 34 year old girl yesterday who basically said young guys don't want to date older girls and older guys "date" but many are all just sleeping around and having a good time and not even necessarily interested in getting married.

Its a rough issue, I will tell you off hand, i'm single and lead a fairly productive life, my friend who is an attorney told me that I need to look for older women, simply because I want someone accomplished in life.

If you're doing 7 years to get a law degree or 11 for a doctor, you hit the age where you're ready in life to hit the ground running.

[sky121]

you obviously have very little exposure to the yeshivish/heimishe frum  communities. The convo here is off because some are talking about apples , others oranges.
No disrespect.

Most of the people I'm referring to are modern yeshiva and Baja yaakov people.

I would imagine and hope these things aren't going on as much with yeshivish people but they def still happen unfortunately.

[whYME]

Go to CAY, look around.. the thing with chabad is that these singles are often in college, pursuing careers or just learning in 770, on shlichus etc.. but they are there

Is that where the 25% who are sleeping around hang out?
I'm glad I stay far away from that place...

[chevron]

you obviously have very little exposure to the yeshivish/heimishe frum  communities. The convo here is off because some are talking about apples , others oranges.
No disrespect.

Thats all 1990, nowdays we have a more complex situation

[Dan]

Maybe that's where the shidduch crisis comes from... No guys for the older girls to date.

Makes sense. I do think the older girls tend to be more "normal" than the older guys on the market.

Though I think people naturally get pickier with each passing date as they realize traits they don't like and that makes things more difficult.
Odds of a "green" girl agreeing to marriage is much higher than one who has been out with many guys.

[Dan]

Is that where the 25% who are sleeping around hang out?
I'm glad I stay far away from that place...

ALOL!

[sky121]

Its a rough issue, I will tell you off hand, i'm single and lead a fairly productive life, my friend who is an attorney told me that I need to look for older women, simply because I want someone accomplished in life.

If you're doing 7 years to get a law degree or 11 for a doctor, you hit the age where you're ready in life to hit the ground running.

Lets make a shidduch!! I'm sure we can find a nice girl for you somewhere on the forums. 

[sky121]

Makes sense. I do think the older girls tend to be more "normal" than the older guys on the market.

Though I think people naturally get pickier with each passing date as they realize traits they don't like and that makes things more difficult.
Odds of a "green" girl agreeing to marriage is much higher than one who has been out with many guys.

Def. Young and dumb is the way to go.

[SamKey]

Please nobody link Mesh's girl!

[chevron]

Is that where the 25% who are sleeping around hang out?
I'm glad I stay far away from that place...

Look,
It depends how YOU define frum, I think of it is a shomer shabbat, shomer kosher person.. for a male that puts on tefillin daily..