I don't get the logic behind the "why do only my children have to die" question. That is not something that anyone other than the ones mandating the draft have to respond to. Second I largely believe that if some of the children in reference did not make the army the place it is (the lowest morality of any army, no respect to religion etc.) than possibly some would be more open to joining the army. Correct me if I'm wrong.
I will give you the benefit of the doubt and allow you to take back the part of "some of the children in reference", when those children are dying so you can continue with your life.
Have you actually set foot inside the army, before you decide on no respect to religion? Every base has a shul, the pkudot specifically require you to be allowed to pray 3x a day in accordance with halacha (at the expense of your not dati friends having to do extra work, btw, and they're fine with it), the food is all kosher with a mashgiach, etc etc etc. The Hesder guys seem to manage with 5 years of learning with a year and a half of army service and then reserves. I don't see why haredim couldn't start a hesder yeshiva, what makes them different?