Author Topic: Playgroup Issues (Read 4048 times)

judahk88 · « **on:** March 10, 2014, 06:53:11 PM »

Just wanted to hear other DDFers take on this.

My 2 year olds teacher called yesterday saying that my daughter is very smart and funny etc. etc. but she can't keep her for the summer program because she requires too much attention and she can't give her the attention she needs because new kids are coming to the playgroup. I was a little taken aback at this since she is a playgroup teacher and she should be able to handle kids since this is what she does for a living. I am a little worried also because when my wife picks up my kid she keeps telling my wife that she got a timeout so my wife asked the teacher what she did and the teacher keeps telling her stuff like "she takes off her shoes" or "she throws her food on the floor". I personally don't think that those reasons warrant a timeout every day. I may be wrong with how I am looking at it since it is my daughter so any input is appreciated. TIA.

how · « **Reply #1 on:** March 10, 2014, 07:27:03 PM »

Quote from: judahk88 on March 10, 2014, 06:53:11 PM

Just wanted to hear other DDFers take on this.

My 2 year olds teacher called yesterday saying that my daughter is very smart and funny etc. etc. but she can't keep her for the summer program because she requires too much attention and she can't give her the attention she needs because new kids are coming to the playgroup. I was a little taken aback at this since she is a playgroup teacher and she should be able to handle kids since this is what she does for a living. I am a little worried also because when my wife picks up my kid she keeps telling my wife that she got a timeout so my wife asked the teacher what she did and the teacher keeps telling her stuff like "she takes off her shoes" or "she throws her food on the floor". I personally don't think that those reasons warrant a timeout every day. I may be wrong with how I am looking at it since it is my daughter so any input is appreciated. TIA.

sounds like a normal 2 year old to me. why the timeouts?

george · « **Reply #2 on:** March 10, 2014, 07:35:41 PM »

I think this is a blessing in disguise.
You need a different playgroup with a better morah. Her calling you to tell you that she can't keep your kid will force you to find a better playgroup, which you probably would not have done otherwise. Your daughter will benefit from a better morah.

elit · « **Reply #3 on:** March 10, 2014, 07:42:36 PM »

If the teacher doesn't want your kid there you certainly don't want to send your kid there

george · « **Reply #4 on:** March 10, 2014, 07:51:03 PM »

Quote from: elit on March 10, 2014, 07:42:36 PM

If the teacher doesn't want your kid there you certainly don't want to send your kid there

Well said!

churnbabychurn · « **Reply #5 on:** March 10, 2014, 07:59:27 PM »

My wife is a former teacher. Bottom line is that one kid can ruin her year, I guess it can be called part of the job but....

She still has nightmares from "Meir"...

Achas Veachas · « **Reply #6 on:** March 10, 2014, 08:02:39 PM »

Quote from: churnbabychurn on March 10, 2014, 07:59:27 PM

My wife is a former teacher. Bottom line is that one kid can ruin her year, I guess it can be called part of the job but....

She still has nightmares from "Meir"...

Hey! Don't you talk about my kid that way

lunatic · « **Reply #7 on:** March 10, 2014, 08:04:37 PM »

Take her out now. My 18 month old also throws food and plenty of other things

judahk88 · « **Reply #8 on:** March 10, 2014, 08:28:36 PM »

I agree that if a kid is hitting other kids and doing other similar stuff then that warrants a timeout, but the reasons the teacher gave were she takes off her shoes and she throws food on the floor. She is 2. From my experience most 2 year olds do that.

Fan of Dan · « **Reply #9 on:** March 10, 2014, 08:33:23 PM »

Which 2 year old doesn't throw their food on the floor! My 1 year old is already an expert at that and just keeps on getting better at it.

judahk88 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 10, 2014, 08:43:52 PM »

I know that's what I said, but it's not that simple. I can't take her out now because I have no clue where I will put her.

TMHJR · « **Reply #11 on:** March 10, 2014, 09:23:14 PM »

Quote from: george on March 10, 2014, 07:35:41 PM

I think this is a blessing in disguise.
You need a different playgroup with a better morah. Her calling you to tell you that she can't keep your kid will force you to find a better playgroup, which you probably would not have done otherwise. Your daughter will benefit from a better morah.

+1

E R K · « **Reply #12 on:** March 10, 2014, 09:46:04 PM »

Take her out ASAP. This behavior does not warrent time out for a 2 year old. There are other ways to deal with those minor issues. Time out or better yet, removal from a situation would be for a worse situation like hitting or biting along with a "No..." If you can't remove her now, discuss with the teacher and if possible a supervisor better ways to show her not to do these behaviors. A time out is very extreme for this.
Does the teacher have assistants in the room? Does she have too many kids in the program that she is overwhelmed? Definitely look into something else for summer. You wouldn't want your child in a program where she isn't wanted.

Super Speed · « **Reply #13 on:** March 10, 2014, 10:48:57 PM »

Quote from: E R K on March 10, 2014, 09:46:04 PM

Take her out ASAP. This behavior does not warrent time out for a 2 year old. There are other ways to deal with those minor issues. Time out or better yet, removal from a situation would be for a worse situation like hitting or biting along with a "No..." If you can't remove her now, discuss with the teacher and if possible a supervisor better ways to show her not to do these behaviors. A time out is very extreme for this.
Does the teacher have assistants in the room? Does she have too many kids in the program that she is overwhelmed? Definitely look into something else for summer. You wouldn't want your child in a program where she isn't wanted.

+100

sky121 · « **Reply #14 on:** March 11, 2014, 12:12:51 AM »

If a TWO year old kid is constantly causing disruption and constantly needing to be 'punished' and put in time out (and I personally don't think a 2 year old should be put in time out anyways) then eventually a teacher should realize that a different approach needs to be taken. That being said I agree with the others that if you don't feel as if the head of the playground really has your kids best interest at heart and can give her what she needs then I'd look for a different playgroup with a different teacher. And the teacher may very well be a loving person but she clearly doesn't want to invest the energy your kid is demanding. B'Hatzlacha.

churnbabychurn · « **Reply #15 on:** March 11, 2014, 12:17:25 AM »

Don't take this the wrong way but its possible the morah was being sensitive.
She didn't feel comfortable saying that the kid is impossible.........

These days, kids with behavioral problems can usually be mainstreamed by the time first grade comes about. Its called early intervention. From age 3 evaluation is free in NJ. Don't ignore it if you're concerned. Kids take effort!
Good luck!:)

sky121 · « **Reply #16 on:** March 11, 2014, 12:20:50 AM »

Quote from: churnbabychurn on March 11, 2014, 12:17:25 AM

Don't take this the wrong way but its possible the morah was being sensitive.
She didn't feel comfortable saying that the kid is impossible.........

These days, kids with behavioral problems can usually be mainstreamed by the time first grade comes about. Its called early intervention. From age 3 evaluation is free in NJ. Don't ignore it if you're concerned. Kids take effort!
Good luck!:)

If a kid is impossible a good teacher would still talk to the parents about it and try to work on things. Feeling bad to tell the parents the truth isn't their job.

Obviously different factors come into play. Some parents don't want to hear things and you won't get anywhere anyways and have to try a different approach. Either way in terms of the OPs case he needs to send her somewhere where they are willing to put in the energy and effort.

I don't know what kind of playgroup this kid is going to but many times the issue is just trying to make a 2 year old kid act like they're in school for hours when they should just be playing for most of the time.

Moshe123 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 11, 2014, 12:23:39 AM »

The teacher might not be to blame. From seeing these things up close, one child can give hell to a teacher.
I'm don't think that the story was posted, or even told to you.

sky121 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 11, 2014, 12:25:31 AM »

Quote from: Moshe123 on March 11, 2014, 12:23:39 AM

The teacher might not be to blame. From seeing these things up close, one child can give hell to a teacher.
I'm don't think that the story was posted, or even told to you.

No own blames the teacher but I think we can all agree it's best to send a kid where the teacher wants to put in the effort with the kid.

She's entitled to turn the kid down. And plenty of kids are "impossible".

churnbabychurn · « **Reply #19 on:** March 11, 2014, 12:33:53 AM »

Also worth mentioning that with babysitters you gotta trust your "vibes", if your kid says things, if don't feel comfortable, if the Mora won't look at you in the eye when asking questions find somewhere else.
I posted elsewhere the details but it may be worthwhile to make a surprise visit or two, we were shocked with what we found at one place..