Author Topic: Stuff Your Kid Tells You  (Read 41885 times)

Offline whYME

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #30 on: August 08, 2014, 05:05:33 PM »
I have dozens of these but I can't seem to remember them now. I should really start writing them down...


Here's one:
Me to my (then) 6 year old: "______, go get dressed, you cannot run around the house naked!"

Son: "But I'm not running, just walking."

Offline yakov116

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #31 on: August 08, 2014, 05:37:10 PM »
My father called home to find out what my mother needs from the grocery.

Ta: Please ask mommy what she needs

Me: Mommy said she have no more patience I think you should get her some

2yo
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Offline Achas Veachas

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #32 on: August 08, 2014, 05:57:57 PM »
My brother: Ma I have a headache.

Mom: Oy maybe you need to lie down.

Bro: (with all seriousness) No. I think I need a chocolate.

Then 2yo.
Curiosity made the cat smarter.

Offline 12HRS

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #33 on: August 08, 2014, 06:03:17 PM »
WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAA

5.5 weeks (and every day before that)

Offline stbaum

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #34 on: August 08, 2014, 06:59:30 PM »

WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAA

5.5 weeks (and every day before that)
Awwwwww Baruch Hashem!!
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Offline Let3

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #35 on: August 09, 2014, 03:11:28 PM »
Funniest thing I ever heard was from my friends 4 yro.

Kid: Totty how much older are you then mommy?
Father: 3 years
Kid: so your going to be nifter 3 years earlier- cause youl get to 120 first.

Kid: Totty, I want to be the one carrying your body
Father: you'll have to share it with all your brothers
Kid: ok, but I want to be the one to stand up and say "oy reb nissim"!

Offline ganizzy

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2014, 04:53:40 AM »
Kid. How do u say 12, dazillion?
Me. What?  U mean a dozen?

Same kid
Me. Please go get neggel Vasser
Kid. Why,  I'm going to end up in your room anyways.

Offline Am

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2014, 01:26:43 PM »
3 yr old nephew: I don't ever want to be a tzadik!!

Sister(horrified): Why?!

Nephew: I don't want to hang on the wall all day and never speak

Offline Nitantnel

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #38 on: August 11, 2014, 11:38:45 PM »
3 yr old nephew: I don't ever want to be a tzadik!!

Sister(horrified): Why?!

Nephew: I don't want to hang on the wall all day and never speak

Reminds me of my son earlier this year:

As I'm picking him up from school his Morah tells me that "he is such a Tzadik!"

Annoyed, he responds, "I am not a Tzadik!"

"Why not?" I ask him.

After thinking for a few seconds, he shoots back: "I'm a Kuf!"

(as in the Hebrew letter 'kuf')


Offline etech0

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #39 on: August 12, 2014, 01:39:53 AM »
Reminds me of my son earlier this year:

As I'm picking him up from school his Morah tells me that "he is such a Tzadik!"

Annoyed, he responds, "I am not a Tzadik!"

"Why not?" I ask him.

After thinking for a few seconds, he shoots back: "I'm a Kuf!"

(as in the Hebrew letter 'kuf')
:)
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Offline Chaikel

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #40 on: August 12, 2014, 01:34:02 PM »
My 5 year old nephew set up a lemonade stand outside the house.

At the end of the day his mother asked him how much he made. He replied "I don't ask you about your business, you shouldn't ask me about mine"
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Offline icapd1

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #41 on: August 12, 2014, 01:38:03 PM »
My 5 year old nephew set up a lemonade stand outside the house.

At the end of the day his mother asked him how much he made. He replied "I don't ask you about your business, you shouldn't ask me about mine"

Most likely he's running at a deficit.

Offline Chaikel

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #42 on: August 12, 2014, 01:40:01 PM »
Most likely he's running at a deficit.
Impossible, as he has 0 overhead
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Offline etech0

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #43 on: August 12, 2014, 01:40:24 PM »
Most likely he's running at a deficit.
Or he sold all his lemonade. To you and your spouse. Who probably sponsored the supplies in the first place.
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Offline PlatinumGuy

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Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #44 on: August 12, 2014, 01:41:31 PM »
Impossible, as he has 0 overhead
0 expenses
Purpose > Pleasure