Author Topic: Stuff Your Kid Tells You (Read 147832 times)

yerushabubby · « **Reply #400 on:** February 24, 2021, 08:54:25 AM »

On a bus once, someone asked me to hold her infant while she went to pay. My (then) 4 yo noticed and started thinking out loud as follows:

"I'm the littlest in the house, but I'm not a baby....so my mommy takes other people's babies!"
(I am a babysitter)

I could tell who on the bus spoke English by their smiles

YitzyS · « **Reply #401 on:** February 28, 2021, 10:19:15 AM »

"hey, totty, there's a clock on my candy!"

YitzyS · « **Reply #402 on:** February 28, 2021, 10:45:32 AM »

Quote from: YitzyS on February 28, 2021, 10:19:15 AM

"hey, totty, there's a clock on my candy!"

My kids seem to be obsessed with clocks. Another one of my kids just pointed to this and said "clock"

AsherO · « **Reply #403 on:** February 28, 2021, 01:56:40 PM »

Quote from: YitzyS on February 28, 2021, 10:45:32 AM

My kids seem to be obsessed with clocks. Another one of my kids just pointed to this and said "clock"

Is your family slogan “timing is everything”?

AsherO · « **Reply #404 on:** March 10, 2021, 09:32:57 PM »

Me: “Go to sleep, or you’ll be a zombie in the morning”
My kid, the next day (after not going to sleep...) : “Tatty, is I am a zombie?”

AsherO · « **Reply #405 on:** June 14, 2021, 04:08:24 PM »

Before Shavuos my 5y/o (ka"h) was learning the asseres hadibros in school, and he learned that "you're not allowed to marry a married woman", so he came home worried that he won't be able to find a wife one day because all the mommies he knows are married.

One month later this is apparently still on his mind, he recently told my DW that he wishes she wasn't married to me (ch"v) so that he could marry her (Zeidy Freud is shepping nachas), because he was didn't know any other ladies who are not married. When she told him that when he was old he would know about such "other ladies who are not married" he asked if there would be more than 100 available

ROTF LM@O

Yehudaa · « **Reply #406 on:** June 14, 2021, 04:46:07 PM »

Quote from: AsherO on June 14, 2021, 04:08:24 PM

@O

Guy was last seen 3 years ago and just got an email saying he was mentioned

AsherO · « **Reply #407 on:** June 14, 2021, 05:03:43 PM »

Quote from: Yehudaa on June 14, 2021, 04:46:07 PM

Guy was last seen 3 years ago and just got an email saying he was mentioned

You're right. Oops... Sowwi.

M218 · « **Reply #408 on:** June 14, 2021, 05:27:18 PM »

Quote from: grodnoking on December 18, 2016, 08:51:32 AM

There was a mechanic advertising in Lakewood that he would "fix the car before you husband got home from seder".

Reminds me when I newly married and busted my mother in-laws back light of her new car. I called up every mechanic and got it fixed before I drop it back off.

Mordyk · « **Reply #409 on:** June 17, 2021, 09:03:10 AM »

8 year old Nephew to his mother:
Our baby has a מום, so we can't give her for a korban. She had a scratch on her nose. I guess good thing she did!

sguitarist18 · « **Reply #410 on:** June 17, 2021, 09:53:25 AM »

Not my kid, but a family I used to visit...they asked their son if he knows what happens by a pdyon haben, and he said, "I'm not sure, but I think if you don't give the kohen the money, they break the baby's neck!"

YitzyS · « **Reply #411 on:** June 17, 2021, 09:55:51 AM »

Quote from: Mordyk on June 17, 2021, 09:03:10 AM

give her for a korban.

Quote from: sguitarist18 on June 17, 2021, 09:53:25 AM

they break the baby's neck

What are kids these days watching?

AsherO · « **Reply #412 on:** June 17, 2021, 10:08:44 AM »

Quote from: sguitarist18 on June 17, 2021, 09:53:25 AM

Not my kid, but a family I used to visit...they asked their son if he knows what happens by a pdyon haben, and he said, "I'm not sure, but I think if you don't give the kohen the money, they break the baby's neck!"

How old was this kid?

sguitarist18 · « **Reply #413 on:** June 17, 2021, 10:21:20 AM »

When I mentioned one friday night that I was hoping a friend would come over to visit after the meal, my 4-year old burst out laughing. When we asked why that was so funny, she said:" Tatty's don't have friends!"

sguitarist18 · « **Reply #414 on:** June 17, 2021, 10:21:46 AM »

Quote from: AsherO on June 17, 2021, 10:08:44 AM

How old was this kid?

Honestly, don't remember...maybe 5?

skyguy918 · « **Reply #415 on:** June 17, 2021, 03:02:45 PM »

Quote from: YitzyS on June 17, 2021, 09:55:51 AM

What are kids these days watching?

These are both pretty impressive given that they're confusions with other dinei bechor (bechor beheima brought as a korban for the first and arifa of peter chamor for the second), no?

koplonko · « **Reply #416 on:** June 17, 2021, 10:45:01 PM »

Quote from: sguitarist18 on June 17, 2021, 09:53:25 AM

Not my kid, but a family I used to visit...they asked their son if he knows what happens by a pdyon haben, and he said, "I'm not sure, but I think if you don't give the kohen the money, they break the baby's neck!"

ואם לא תפדה, וערפתו

AsherO · « **Reply #417 on:** June 17, 2021, 10:47:23 PM »

Quote from: koplonko on June 17, 2021, 10:45:01 PM

ואם לא תפדה, וערפתו

וכל בכור בניך תפדה

Glad they aren’t tanaim or there might have been a pretty extreme opinion here

Jellybelly · « **Reply #418 on:** June 19, 2021, 11:08:48 PM »

My 8 yr old learned the words male and female last week in school,
so when a lady showed up to give us our mail instead of our usual mailman.
He said today we had a Femaleman and not a Maleman!
🤦‍♂️

YitzyS · « **Reply #419 on:** June 19, 2021, 11:55:35 PM »

Quote from: Jellybelly on June 19, 2021, 11:08:48 PM

My 8 yr old learned the words male and female last week in school,
so when a lady showed up to give us our mail instead of our usual mailman.
He said today we had a Femaleman and not a Maleman!
🤦‍♂️

After reading the first line, I thought this was going somewhere else...

#LeftestWoke