Stuff Your Kid Tells You

[YitzyS]

7 year old son: "My Rebbi gave me a jelly bean and I sold it for 10 cents"
Older brother: "10 cents is a lot of money for a jelly bean!"
7 year old: "Well, the price of everything is going up nowadays!"

No, I am not going to make a joke about the username checking out

[EliJelly]

No, I am not going to make a joke about the username checking out

Especially when that garners more likes

[drosenberg88429]

7 year old son: "My Rebbi gave me a jelly bean and I sold it for 10 cents"
Older brother: "10 cents is a lot of money for a jelly bean!"
7 year old: "Well, the price of everything is going up nowadays!"

If you can buy a half eaten Paskez jelly bean for a nickel, it stands to reason that 10 cents is within range for a jelly bean.

[Yehuda57]

https://twitter.com/Squilled/status/1619850578259222529

[yesitsme]

While I was walking in the street a goy yelled at us "Dirty Jew"

[~King Lake~]

Son came home today from Cheder and repeating the story of Yisroi becoming jewish:
…and Yisroi became a Jew, he bought a Kapel, Tzitzis made Payois & broke his smartphone…
 

Not sure if should be angry or don’t know what…
Was on the tip of my tongue to tell my son that there were no phones back then

[koplonko]

made Payois & broke his smartphone…

I heard that he was still in his phone while waiting for his peyos to be made

[jj1000]

We're making a chart.
 

@Yehuda57 How did this work out?

[Yehuda57]

@Yehuda57 How did this work out?

That was a long time ago, I don't recall.

Unrelated, I'm looking for cleaning help in Brooklyn, if anyone knows of someone looking for work, please pm.

[drosenberg88429]

That was a long time ago, I don't recall.

Unrelated, I'm looking for cleaning help in Brooklyn, if anyone knows of someone looking for work, please pm.

How many likes per hour are you offering?

[Moshe Green]

How many likes per hour are you offering?

or stars. or crowns.

[Yehuda57]

How many likes per hour are you offering?

Keep up

We're making a chart.

[ckmk47]

I hear what you are saying. Good point. It could be very damaging what the Rebbe is saying.
If so, you should really talk to the principal about it. Especially if this isn't the first time.

Not interested in entering this discussion, but I would talk to the Rebbe before  you go to his boss. It may be easily worked out.

[Euclid]

That was a long time ago, I don't recall.

Unrelated, I'm looking for cleaning help in Brooklyn, if anyone knows of someone looking for work, please pm.

is your 12 year old not accepting charts anymore?

[mevinyavin]

My almost nine-year-old said, "I don't want to go to school today! On Yom Shlishi we have a teacher that screams too much, and my ears hurt for the entire day..."

I said to her, "You are almost an adult! One of the differences between big people and little people is that we sometimes have to spend time with people we don't like. Every time you do something you don't like because it is the right thing, you become bigger."

"Well, I don't want to go today!"

"Hmm... We'll have to push off your birthday by one day..."

"Okay, fine, I'll go. I want to be nine already."

(I didn't expect this to work.)

[ExGingi]

Son came home today from Cheder and repeating the story of Yisroi becoming jewish:
…and Yisroi became a Jew, he bought a Kapel, Tzitzis made Payois & broke his smartphone…
 

Not sure if should be angry or don’t know what…
Was on the tip of my tongue to tell my son that there were no phones back then

וילך משה וידבר.

He obviously had a mobile phone, not a  corded landline.

[Yehuda57]

Wasn't sure which thread, so I'm x posting. Forgive me.

My son (6) holding up what is left of his pizza, "this is a shalom of pizza."
"What? A shalom?"
"Yes. Shalom is peace. This is a shalom of pizza."

[Euclid]

Wasn't sure which thread, so I'm x posting. Forgive me.

you come in piece

[Yehuda57]

you come in piece

Thanks for the peace of mind, I was worried I'd get a piece of mind

[Euclid]

Thanks for the peace of mind, I was worried I'd get a piece of mind

We're getting close to "Italian man who went to Malta"