Stuff Your Kid Tells You

[yakov116]

Has an accident in his pants "It was raining in my pants"

[yesitsme]

Has an accident in his pants "It was raining in my pants"

get him this birthday present https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0023EY002/

[YitzyS]

There was a discussion at my Shabbos Seuda about sechita, and we were trying to figure out which melacha it is. My 5-year-old son announces that it's Dosh, and when we tell him that it's not, he holds his ground. We looked it up, and what do you know - it's indeed Dosh.

Full credit for that goes to this

[dasmo801]

There was a discussion at my Shabbos Seuda about sechita, and we were trying to figure out which melacha it is. My 5-year-old son announces that it's Dosh, and when we tell him that it's not, he holds his ground. We looked it up, and what do you know - it's indeed Dosh.

Full credit for that goes to this

Isn't השוחט one of the ל"ט מלאכות?

[YitzyS]

Isn't השוחט one of the ל"ט מלאכות?

sechita, not shechita

Squeezing, not slaughtering

[dasmo801]

sechita, not shechita

Squeezing, not slaughtering

Ouch. The difference a little dot makes ..
In my defense, I'm an old time litvak. We say sechita for both.

[Euclid]

sechita, not shechita

[yungermanchik]

There was a discussion at my Shabbos Seuda about sechita, and we were trying to figure out which melacha it is. My 5-year-old son announces that it's Dosh, and when we tell him that it's not, he holds his ground. We looked it up, and what do you know - it's indeed Dosh.

Full credit for that goes to this

There are two types of schita: schita d'maferek which is a toldah of Dosh, and schita d'melaben, which is a toldah of Melaben.(so, you weren't completely wrong. there is a schita that is not Dosh.)

[joe1234]

Ouch. The difference a little dot makes ..
In my defense, I'm an old time litvak. We say sechita for both.

its not a dot that makes the difference, sechita is with a samach not a sin...

[dasmo801]

its not a dot that makes the difference, sechita is with a samach not a sin...

Double ouch.

[srap]

Ouch. The difference a little dot makes ..
In my defense, I'm an old time litvak. We say sechita for both.

its not a dot that makes the difference, sechita is with a samach not a sin...

Actually, it's neither.  The question was written in English so the difference between sechita and shechita is an 'h'.  It was simply reading the word 'sechita' as if it were the more familiar 'shechita'.

[ExGingi]

its not a dot that makes the difference, sechita is with a samach not a sin...

מתחלפים ואין מקפידין בזה

והא ראיה

הסיגוי והשגב לחי עולמים

[skyguy918]

Ouch. The difference a little dot makes ..
In my defense, I'm an old time litvak. We say sechita for both.

Reminds me of a maaseh I read about over YT. R' Chaim Volozhiner once came into the bais medrash on shabbos afternoon and was disturbed to see 2 guys schmoozing. He told them that shabbos is RT shina (learning) bshabbos taanug - but if you can't do that, at least make it shaina (sleep) bshabbos taanug. One of them shot back, Rebbi we hold of sicha (schmoozing) bshabbos taanug. So R' Chaim said to him, now I understand the pasuk in Koheles "לב חכם לימינו ולב כסיל לשמאלו" - the חכם puts the dot on the right, and ends up learning, while the כסיל puts in on the left and schmoozes.

[gozalim]

...R' Chaim said to him, now I understand the pasuk in Koheles "לב חכם לימינו ולב כסיל לשמאלו" - the חכם puts the dot on the right, and ends up learning, while the כסיל puts in on the left and schmoozes.

gonna get touchy with this one

In my defense, I'm an old time litvak. We say sechita for both.

[th0306]

gonna get touchy with this one

You say it that way - but you still differentiate by spelling them differently.

[~King Lake~]

Son: Tatty what does gay mean?

Father: [thinks to himself] if he's asking he for sure knows athing or 2 about it now I better explain it to him before he goes elsewhere looking for that info, so the father explains him the definition with all the details...

Son: so what does tzalmuves mean?......

גַּם כִּי אֵלֵךְ בְּגֵיא צַלְמָוֶת לֹא אִירָא

Disclaimer Did not happen

[moko]

5 yr old
"My teacher said there's no more cups in school because they're stuck on a ship because the ship driver doesn't want to be vaccinated.
We should make sure to get vaccinated so we can have cups"
And she insisted on bringing a package of cups to school...

[Mordyk]

My 8 year old daughter had to write a story (or a statement, not sure the exact instructions) for extra credit on a test:

How to bake. first you take something next you take another thing. The end. I'm ready for recess

[ExGingi]

5 yr old
"My teacher said there's no more cups in school because they're stuck on a ship because the ship driver doesn't want to be vaccinated.
We should make sure to get vaccinated so we can have cups"
And she insisted on bringing a package of cups to school...

Is she vaccinated?

[sguitarist18]

My 8 year old daughter had to write a story (or a statement, not sure the exact instructions) for extra credit on a test:

How to bake. first you take something next you take another thing. The end. I'm ready for recess

Slightly OT, but I once brought brownies in to work, and a coworker asked me how I make such delicious brownies. I answered, "First, I say 'Wife, make me brownies!'"