Stuff Your Kid Tells You

[m65]

its not a dot that makes the difference, sechita is with a samach not a sin...

it most definitely is a sin

[moko]

Is she vaccinated?

no. Though they are offering vaccines in school.

[yungermanchik]

Me (making the cholent): What's the next thing that goes in the cholent?...Meat!
My 4-year-old: Right! because cholent with no meat is soooo silly!



@ExGingi

[Yehuda57]

My son is adamant that קער א וועלט means care for the world. Is he a Tikun Olam crusader?

[jj1000]

My son is adamant that קער א וועלט means care for the world. Is he a Tikun Olam crusader?

Next thing you know he'll be live streaming the siyum hashas, this is the start of a long dark road.

[ExGingi]

My son is adamant that קער א וועלט means care for the world. Is he a Tikun Olam crusader?

I guess he needs some Yiddish immersion before he heads on his crusade.

[koplonko]

My son is adamant that קער א וועלט means care for the world. Is he a Tikun Olam crusader?

ווי אלט איזה ער? האט ער שוין געקערט זיבן? י

[Yehuda57]

ווי אלט איזה ער? האט ער שוין געקערט זיבן? י

ער האט גאר נישט געקערט, אבער ער דרייט זיך א סאך

He's 5, but been saying this since 3 or 4.

[~King Lake~]

ער האט גאר נישט געקערט, אבער ער דרייט זיך א סאך

He's 5, but been saying this since 3 or 4.

מ'דארף קערן נאָך אים

[AsherO]

ער האט גאר נישט געקערט, אבער ער דרייט זיך א סאך

He’s living on the farm, if he doesn’t know אקערינג then perhaps he’s צודרייט…

[Yehuda57]

A first grade relative's school work.



Does this count as substantially equivalent, @biobook?

[biobook]

A first grade relative's school work.

Does this count as substantially equivalent, @biobook?

Truly impressed that weird is spelled right.

Reminds me of the time I was speaking to a professor and he used the word "flatus".  He looked questioningly at my amused and shocked expression.  "I hadn't realized you know Yiddish!" I said.

How was I to know?  It sounds like Yiddish, doesn't it?

[Yehuda57]

https://twitter.com/Squilled/status/1558919157134938112

[Something Fishy]

A first grade relative's school work.



Does this count as substantially equivalent, @biobook?

My wife's student out a note on her spelling test that she couldn't study last night because she had her sister's fart.

[ExGingi]

My 5 year old's friend called her on the phone. During the conversation overheard her saying: "Do you know my Tatty, my Tatty has a white beard. He's my nieces' zaidy".

[YitzyS]

This is something my kid might be telling me if he gets ahold of my computer...


Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Can I please go night-night at 6:30 tonight instead of at 6:00? I know I usually have to go at 6:00, but I'm really tired and I feel like I need a little extra time to rest. Plus, I'll be able to wake up feeling more better and ready for tomorrow.

I promise I'll still be awake and ready for school in the morning, and I'll make sure to get all my homework done before night-night time.

Please can I stay up a little bit longer tonight? I really want to get some extra rest.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

[jj1000]

This is something my kid might be telling me if he gets ahold of my computer...


Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Can I please go night-night at 6:30 tonight instead of at 6:00? I know I usually have to go at 6:00, but I'm really tired and I feel like I need a little extra time to rest. Plus, I'll be able to wake up feeling more better and ready for tomorrow.

I promise I'll still be awake and ready for school in the morning, and I'll make sure to get all my homework done before night-night time.

Please can I stay up a little bit longer tonight? I really want to get some extra rest.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

Boo, this thread is for real quotes only please. Don't ruin my favorite thread on DDF.

[mevinyavin]

My four-year-old ticked off on her hands: "We will have the malkat hagan, the Shabbos Mommy, and a birthday!" The three highlights of every kid's gan year, apparently.

[Yehuda57]

I have a select group of contacts I occasionally allow my son (5) to make whatsapp statuses for. Today he was helping me share a status going out to all my contacts, and suggested I say something that only "his group" would understand. I explained that this was going to all my contacts, and he wanted to know who was included in that list.
"Everyone in my phone who I call or that calls me."
"You mean Scam Likely?"

[jj1000]

Me: Stop dropping your soda cap!
Kid, exasperated: OK, but I can't control what Hashem does.
----------
Me: I love you to the moon and back!
Kid: I love you to all the planets and back!
---------
Me: Finished explaining what Prime day is.
Kid: Can I call it Black Amazon Day? Prime day is too hard to remember.