Author Topic: Stuff Your Kid Tells You  (Read 145522 times)

Offline Super Speed

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2013
  • Posts: 4849
  • Total likes: 50
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: SPG Gold, Hilton Gold, Hyatt Platinum, Marriott Gold, Hertz Presidents Circle, Avis First, National Executive Elite, Sixt Platinum.
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #20 on: August 07, 2014, 11:46:07 PM »
It wasn't from my kid but still appropriately belongs here.
Friend: You know my Brother-In-Law went to LA this summer?
Me: Really? Cool!
Friend: Yeh, he got cheap tickets on Craigslist
Me: You sure it was Craigslist
Friend: Some type of site like that, maybe DansDeals?
Me: Sounds more like it!

Offline Sport

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 2332
  • Total likes: 103
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #21 on: August 07, 2014, 11:48:56 PM »

It wasn't from my kid but still appropriately belongs here.
Friend: You know my Brother-In-Law went to LA this summer?
Me: Really? Cool!
Friend: Yeh, he got cheap tickets on Craigslist
Me: You sure it was Craigslist
Friend: Some type of site like that, maybe DansDeals?
Me: Sounds more like it!
how old was this kid?

Offline Super Speed

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2013
  • Posts: 4849
  • Total likes: 50
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 4
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
  • Programs: SPG Gold, Hilton Gold, Hyatt Platinum, Marriott Gold, Hertz Presidents Circle, Avis First, National Executive Elite, Sixt Platinum.
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #22 on: August 07, 2014, 11:50:39 PM »

Offline Chdayshc

  • Dansdeals Gold Elite
  • ***
  • Join Date: May 2013
  • Posts: 174
  • Total likes: 0
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Good Old USA
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #23 on: August 07, 2014, 11:51:53 PM »
Daisy (duck) pull down your shirt your not tznius

Online moko

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2011
  • Posts: 4567
  • Total likes: 1484
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
  • Location: BOS
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2014, 01:13:17 AM »
From a cholov stam eating family
Dad: why are you eating that ice cream? Aren't you fleishigs?
kid: but it's cholov Israel

Similarly: (we lived in some locales at some point with out an Eruv, so when visiting family where there was an Eruv carrying was a novelty)
Dad: why are you tearing? It's shabbos!
Kid: but there's an Eruv.

Offline Nitantnel

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Apr 2011
  • Posts: 2957
  • Total likes: 3
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Brooklyn
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2014, 01:11:07 PM »
"I need a cane! I got a boo-boo on my foot."

Offline stbaum

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Apr 2014
  • Posts: 1336
  • Total likes: 60
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #26 on: August 08, 2014, 01:25:25 PM »
My dd (2.5) keeps telling me she wants to go to the "hopital". When I tell her that only people with very big boo boos go she keeps insisting that her scrapes and mosquito bites ARE big boo boos :)
My greatest achievement? I am fluent in FRIENDS quotes

Offline churnbabychurn

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 7355
  • Total likes: 301
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Lakewood
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #27 on: August 08, 2014, 01:27:47 PM »
Remember last year you told me you're going to give me a dollar?
No!

4YO

Offline nafnaf12

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jan 2012
  • Posts: 4192
  • Total likes: 251
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 79
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #28 on: August 08, 2014, 03:14:23 PM »
4 Y/O niece was walking with my mother (her grandma)
niece: I like your fur top can I get when I become a mommy?
grandma: iyh will see then
niece: without hesitation she says actually forget it when u r going to be nifter ill take anyway :o
A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

Offline Baruch

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jan 2013
  • Posts: 2604
  • Total likes: 335
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #29 on: August 08, 2014, 04:16:57 PM »
From a cholov stam eating family
Dad: why are you eating that ice cream? Aren't you fleishigs?
kid: but it's cholov Israel

Similarly: (we lived in some locales at some point with out an Eruv, so when visiting family where there was an Eruv carrying was a novelty)
Dad: why are you tearing? It's shabbos!
Kid: but there's an Eruv.
Reminds me of my kid a few months ago:
Kid: "Ta, why's the light on in your room?"
Ta: "I by mistake turned it on, now I can't close it cause it's shabbos"
Kid: why don't you just put up an Eiruv"
4yo

Offline whYME

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: May 2008
  • Posts: 3213
  • Total likes: 1241
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #30 on: August 08, 2014, 05:05:33 PM »
I have dozens of these but I can't seem to remember them now. I should really start writing them down...


Here's one:
Me to my (then) 6 year old: "______, go get dressed, you cannot run around the house naked!"

Son: "But I'm not running, just walking."

Offline yakov116

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: May 2014
  • Posts: 1556
  • Total likes: 205
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #31 on: August 08, 2014, 05:37:10 PM »
My father called home to find out what my mother needs from the grocery.

Ta: Please ask mommy what she needs

Me: Mommy said she have no more patience I think you should get her some

2yo
Money talks...mine says goodbye!

Offline Achas Veachas

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Jul 2012
  • Posts: 4399
  • Total likes: 114
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 3
    • View Profile
    • Torah && Tech
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #32 on: August 08, 2014, 05:57:57 PM »
My brother: Ma I have a headache.

Mom: Oy maybe you need to lie down.

Bro: (with all seriousness) No. I think I need a chocolate.

Then 2yo.

Offline 12HRS

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *********
  • Join Date: Jun 2013
  • Posts: 5108
  • Total likes: 575
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 6
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #33 on: August 08, 2014, 06:03:17 PM »
WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAA

5.5 weeks (and every day before that)

Offline stbaum

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Apr 2014
  • Posts: 1336
  • Total likes: 60
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
  • Gender: Female
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #34 on: August 08, 2014, 06:59:30 PM »

WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAAA, WAAAAAA

5.5 weeks (and every day before that)
Awwwwww Baruch Hashem!!
My greatest achievement? I am fluent in FRIENDS quotes

Offline Let3

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Dec 2012
  • Posts: 1103
  • Total likes: 31
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: New Jersey
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #35 on: August 09, 2014, 03:11:28 PM »
Funniest thing I ever heard was from my friends 4 yro.

Kid: Totty how much older are you then mommy?
Father: 3 years
Kid: so your going to be nifter 3 years earlier- cause youl get to 120 first.

Kid: Totty, I want to be the one carrying your body
Father: you'll have to share it with all your brothers
Kid: ok, but I want to be the one to stand up and say "oy reb nissim"!

Offline ganizzy

  • Dansdeals Lifetime Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Mar 2010
  • Posts: 1067
  • Total likes: 6
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2014, 04:53:40 AM »
Kid. How do u say 12, dazillion?
Me. What?  U mean a dozen?

Same kid
Me. Please go get neggel Vasser
Kid. Why,  I'm going to end up in your room anyways.

Offline Am

  • Dansdeals Platinum Elite + Lifetime Gold Elite
  • ******
  • Join Date: Nov 2011
  • Posts: 997
  • Total likes: 13
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 2
    • View Profile
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2014, 01:26:43 PM »
3 yr old nephew: I don't ever want to be a tzadik!!

Sister(horrified): Why?!

Nephew: I don't want to hang on the wall all day and never speak

Offline Nitantnel

  • Dansdeals Presidential Platinum Elite
  • ********
  • Join Date: Apr 2011
  • Posts: 2957
  • Total likes: 3
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 0
    • View Profile
  • Location: Brooklyn
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #38 on: August 11, 2014, 11:38:45 PM »
3 yr old nephew: I don't ever want to be a tzadik!!

Sister(horrified): Why?!

Nephew: I don't want to hang on the wall all day and never speak

Reminds me of my son earlier this year:

As I'm picking him up from school his Morah tells me that "he is such a Tzadik!"

Annoyed, he responds, "I am not a Tzadik!"

"Why not?" I ask him.

After thinking for a few seconds, he shoots back: "I'm a Kuf!"

(as in the Hebrew letter 'kuf')


Online etech0

  • Dansdeals Lifetime 10K Presidential Platinum Elite
  • *******
  • Join Date: Dec 2013
  • Posts: 12862
  • Total likes: 3317
  • DansDeals.com Hat Tips 1
    • View Profile
  • Location: not lakewood
  • Programs: DDF
Re: Stuff Your Kid Tells You
« Reply #39 on: August 12, 2014, 01:39:53 AM »
Reminds me of my son earlier this year:

As I'm picking him up from school his Morah tells me that "he is such a Tzadik!"

Annoyed, he responds, "I am not a Tzadik!"

"Why not?" I ask him.

After thinking for a few seconds, he shoots back: "I'm a Kuf!"

(as in the Hebrew letter 'kuf')
:)
Workflowy. You won't know what you're missing until you try it.