Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz Article

[PlatinumGuy]

This is going in circles. Why are the guys looking for a girl to support them? Because the girl says she wants someone learning.

So he is forced to say he'll learn, her father is forced to promise support etc.

Don't you see that if the girl wasn't as insistent on only marrying a long term learner this cycle would never start off???

Of course there's a destructive cycle. My point is that you have to tackle the part that is morally wrong, not the part that's easiest to fix. The part that's morally wrong is people making commitments they can't keep.

Time to acknowledge that the chasidisha system is the way to go, it has proven to work and will continue to work, no age gaps, no girls left behind etc....

(Hope I didn't start a fire )

It works (arguably) for Chissidishe values. Our values (torah) are different and are more important than a proper shidduch system

[yakov116]

Our values (torah) are different and are more important than a proper shidduch system

?!

[aygart]

Time to acknowledge that the chasidisha system is the way to go, it has proven to work and will continue to work, no age gaps, no girls left behind etc....

(Hope I didn't start a fire )

Is the Chassidishe system of arranged marriages to credit for the lack of an age gap? If so how?

[MarkS]

Of course there's a destructive cycle. My point is that you have to tackle the part that is morally wrong, not the part that's easiest to fix. The part that's morally wrong is people making commitments they can't keep.

Really? So fathers should stop offering support first and let their daughters suffer? How is changing girls expectations not solving the root cause of the problem?

It works (arguably) for Chissidishe values. Our values (torah) are different and are more important than a proper shidduch system

Actually it sounds like the Gedolim are in agreement that there needs to be change (even if Torah suffers) in order to have a proper shidduch system

[Achas Veachas]

Is the Chassidishe system of arranged marriages to credit for the lack of an age gap? If so how?

No. It's the Chassidishe system of marrying young...

[Centro]

Is the Chassidishe system of arranged marriages to credit for the lack of an age gap? If so how?

I'm not sure what is to credit for what, 1 thing I do know is that there's a system (1. Arranged marriages 2. Getting married at 18-20)running for years and it's just working.

[aygart]

No. It's the Chassidishe system of marrying young...

Then he is simply repeating Rechnitz?

[PlatinumGuy]

Really? So fathers should stop offering support first and let their daughters suffer? How is changing girls expectations not solving the root cause of the problem?

The question isn't if it would solve the problem, the question is if its' a morally correct solution.

What about the girls that can afford it? Even according to your numbers, $120k a year isn't really that much and there are plenty of people KaH who can afford it.

Either way AFAIK chassidim have the same problems.

[yakov116]

Actually it sounds like the Gedolim are in agreement that there needs to be change (even if Torah suffers) in order to have a proper shidduch system

!?

[aygart]

Actually it sounds like the Gedolim are in agreement that there needs to be change (even if Torah suffers) in order to have a proper shidduch system

What have they actually told their own talmidim to do differently?

[Toasted]

http://www.kikarhashabat.co.il/%D7%A0%D7%97%D7%A9%D7%A3-%D7%92%D7%95%D7%91%D7%94-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%9C%D7%92%D7%94-%D7%A9%D7%A7%D7%99%D7%91%D7%9C-%D7%9E%D7%A8%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%A8%D7%91-%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%99%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%91.html

Reb Elyashiv got $4000 a month from his kollel(seems like funds were allocated by merit/need). Now doesn't that make more sense than giving 10,000 people $80 a week? Kollel is the responsibility of the community, not individual parents for their kids. This way, regardless of the boy's or girl's financial status, the real serious guys can fully devote themselves. Impossible if husband has 60% responsibility of running household/finances with working spouse.

[Centro]

It works (arguably) for Chissidishe values. Our values (torah) are different and are more important than a proper shidduch system

Huh?! Rather have the system of sitting in kollel and have a broken shidduch system? Really?

Besides, our forefathers and gedoilim who really valued the torah didn't date a dozen girls and they weren't sooo picky and choosy, when the were ready for marriage they just got married (of course after proper research were done), You know what I mean...

[Baruch]

no age gaps, no girls left behind etc....

(Hope I didn't start a fire )

  no love (I'm teasing)

[PlatinumGuy]

Huh?! Rather have the system of sitting in kollel and have a broken shidduch system? Really?

Besides, our forefathers and gedoilim who really valued the torah didn't date a dozen girls and they weren't sooo picky and choosy, when the were ready for marriage they just got married (of course after proper research were done), You know what I mean...

Source?


And yes if it the alternatives were nearly abolishing torah or nearly abolishing marriage, I believe we would go with the former. That's the key differentiatior

[Mordyk]

Of course there's a destructive cycle. My point is that you have to tackle the part that is morally wrong, not the part that's easiest to fix. The part that's morally wrong is people making commitments they can't keep.
It works (arguably) for Chissidishe values. Our values (torah) are different and are more important than a proper shidduch system

chasiddish don't have torah values? doesn't the torah command a father to teach his son a trade so he should be able to work and support his wife the home-maker? shouldn't that be the torah value of chasiddish and not chassidish?

[Achas Veachas]

I assume he meant Yeshivish values...

[Mordyk]

I assume he meant Yeshivish values...

by learning in yeshiva you should also know that...

[yakov116]

Source?


And yes if it the alternatives were nearly abolishing torah or nearly abolishing marriage, I believe we would go with the former. That's the key differentiatior

I hope you have Jewish kids

[Centro]

Source?

Why should I be them חושד?

And yes if it the alternatives were nearly abolishing torah or nearly abolishing marriage, I believe we would go with the former. That's the key differentiatior

No one suggested to wipe the torah, we're talking about not learning the entire day,
If you look back in history there was never a kollel system or any of the kind, then norm was to get married at 18-20 and then they would get a job (if they haven't had one by then...) and they had a sheer in the morning and at night,
אחד מאלף who really meant it didn't go to work and would just sit in shul/Yeshiva and continue his learnings, very few were in this category..

[Yitz]

Huh?! Rather have the system of sitting in kollel and have a broken shidduch system? Really?

Besides, our forefathers and gedoilim who really valued the torah didn't date a dozen girls and they weren't sooo picky and choosy, when the were ready for marriage they just got married (of course after proper research were done), You know what I mean...

Girls are also being picky. No need to blame everything on the male