Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz Article

[aygart]

Kollel is part of the lifecycle of the people who are affected by the Shiduch crisis. It's as fair game as any other aspect of life. However it stands out more because it occurs at a critical time in terms of Shiduchim. Also, learning in Kollel generally impedes one's ability to earn a living, etc.
I don't think it's a matter of for/against Kollel. I'm for everyone doing what is right for them. But if you pick the wrong thing, don't go yelling about a crisis (as if it's some natural disaster). Fix your ways and stop being stupid

There is certainly a possibility that the current system of support is a contributing factor. Even so, what you wrote is more like a rant than simply stating that possibility. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that it is not the case and that the incidence of singles is not significantly correlated to wealth.

[PlatinumGuy]

I think the main factor is that the average chisronos of girls (age and weight) are more significant that the average chisronos of guys, which are usually changeable (bread earning capability, maturity, etc). I know a few guys married to girls ~10 years younger than them (I'd have to marry a 10yr old to do that), but not a single couple vv. Same with weight.

The result is that there are far more boys in the 'prime category' than girls.

[aygart]

Geography is likely a factor as well. Boys are mostly concentrated in the ny area even if their family is elsewhere. This is not the case with girls.

[PlatinumGuy]

Geography is likely a factor as well. Boys are mostly concentrated in the ny area even if their family is elsewhere. This is not the case with girls.

That would suggest NY girls are better off than NY boys which isn't the case. Though it's likely why LA is much worse off

[aygart]

As I stated previously, the question is not a cause, but a factor. It is highly unlikely that there is one cause and one cause only.

[moko]

But who's to say that learning 20% of the day isn't something to be proud of supporting

+1000

[Achas Veachas]

Kollel is part of the lifecycle of the people who are affected by the Shiduch crisis....

Chabad yungerleit generally don't spend more than a year in kollel and the  crisis is just as strong...

[bubkiz]

Geography is likely a factor as well. Boys are mostly concentrated in the ny area even if their family is elsewhere. This is not the case with girls.

Which is why having more Yeshivos/marriage mills for boys returning from EY spread out across the US should make an impact. BMG has an almost monopoly on this market and this may be exacerbating the problem.

[yitzf]

Which is why having more Yeshivos/marriage mills for boys returning from EY spread out across the US should make an impact. BMG has an almost monopoly on this market and this may be exacerbating the problem.

From what I understand, Rechnitz believes the problem is the age gap, in that case having Yeshivos spread out will just make the problem more uniformly spread out, but will not increase the sum of girls getting married.

[AnonymousUser]

From what I understand, Rechnitz believes the problem is the age gap, in that case having Yeshivos spread out will just make the problem more uniformly spread out, but will not increase the sum of girls getting married.

From what I understood, he believes the problem, at least in LA, is die to the fact that boys don't want to fly out there, which is why he created a fund to subsidize that. This issue would be helped if there was a yeshiva in LA, which was something also suggested in a letter to the editor in the following issue of the Mishpacha.

[MC]

From what I understand, Rechnitz believes the problem is the age gap, in that case having Yeshivos spread out will just make the problem more uniformly spread out, but will not increase the sum of girls getting married.

While the age gap is certainly a large part of the issue, I don't think SYR is myopic enough to believe that it is the only problem.

From what I understood, he believes the problem, at least in LA, is die to the fact that boys don't want to fly out there, which is why he created a fund to subsidize that. This issue would be helped if there was a yeshiva in LA, which was something also suggested in a letter to the editor in the following issue of the Mishpacha.

Not sure LA is truly an ideal place to start a yeshiva and bring guys out to. All the pritzus flak that LA gets in other threads is quite well-grounded. You're much better off encouraging guys to fly out for dates, or encouraging LA girls to move to NY.

[aygart]

Why would a boy voluntarily put himself in a situation where he either has a quite limited selection of available girls or he has to fly out somewhere for every date?

[AnonymousUser]

Not sure LA is truly an ideal place to start a yeshiva and bring guys out to. All the pritzus flak that LA gets in other threads is quite well-grounded. You're much better off encouraging guys to fly out for dates, or encouraging LA girls to move to NY.

I didn't say I agree with the suggestion. Maybe in the valley?

[MC]

Why would a boy voluntarily put himself in a situation where he either has a quite limited selection of available girls or he has to fly out somewhere for every date?

Oh yeah, that too

[efflpetzel]

There is obviously going to be a difference in opinion here but..
      I believe learning torah is a great thing. I just don't believe half the boys sitting in kollel should be there. There are too many boys either wasting their time or just not developing themselves as they personally need to be with their own kochos and abilities. It's just a shame.   It's all the boys that shouldn't be sitting in kollel that give kollel a bad name in recent years.  And teaching boys that kollel is everything and everything else is a waste of time doesn't help promote good earners or good middos towards others for that matter. Fathers and husbands are supposed to take care of their families.

 Every once in a while I'll meet a guy in kollel who makes me proud to support him. It doesn't happen nearly as often as it should unfortunately.

as usual, well said sky. This is exactly the way I feel

[henche]

I think the main factor is that the average chisronos of girls (age and weight) are more significant that the average chisronos of guys, which are usually changeable (bread earning capability, maturity, etc). I know a few guys married to girls ~10 years younger than them (I'd have to marry a 10yr old to do that), but not a single couple vv. Same with weight.

The result is that there are far more boys in the 'prime category' than girls.

I think the opposite. That boys are more likely to have significant "chesronos" (OTD, not being in learning, bread earning ability, creepyness), hence there are more girls in the "prime category".

[PlatinumGuy]

I think the opposite. That boys are more likely to have significant "chesronos" (OTD, not being in learning, bread earning ability, creepyness), hence there are more girls in the "prime category".

Yeah just realized my conclusion is the opposite of the reality

[Baruch]

As it happens, my father once met a frum person with a PhD in demographics and asked him what he felt about the "shidduch crisis". His answer was enlightening.

• He was not convinced that a crisis exists. He said that there is definitely anecdotal evidence that there is an issue, but even if there is it may not be the extent people make it to be. He emphasized that one can only count "unwilling singles" which would not include certain types of "pickiness".
• He felt that there was a decent chance that the age gap can be a contributing factor, but that there are various reasons why that would not be the case as well. There are many factors which can counteract this gap.
• Just that it may be a factor does not mean that it is a primary cause. There can be numerous other causes which can be having more of an effect.
• Even if it is a primary factor he did not feel that it can be responsible for a crisis the way it is being made out to be.

He felt that the only way to figure it out would be to properly do a demographic study with an open mind. Such a study may confirm the current suspicions, but also may point things in a totally different direction. Demographics is a science like any other. It behooves those who we would expect to be responsible not to blindly follow some boich svara and throw cash at it. Anyone who invests a large sum into any venture will not be convinced by the seemingly simple argument about the age gap to invest without doing a proper demographic study. The potential loss of torah study caused by boys marrying earlier certainly merits the same due diligence.

Again, I am not saying that there is or isn't a crisis, or that it is or isn't caused by the age gap. I am saying that the issue should be approached with no less seriousness than a large investment and proper due diligence should be done to insure that our efforts produce the desired outcome and don't hider it (al pi teva of course)

I would suggest to Reb Rechnitz that he throw his money at a team of professional actuaries and Sociologists etc. to do a real comprehensive study if the crisis exists, and what is causing it. The fact is, that although obviously LA has a problem, there are communities with no problems.
I want a professional study, and till there's one done I'm very suspicious.

[Baruch]

There is obviously going to be a difference in opinion here but..
      I believe learning torah is a great thing. I just don't believe half the boys sitting in kollel should be there. There are too many boys either wasting their time or just not developing themselves as they personally need to be with their own kochos and abilities. It's just a shame.   It's all the boys that shouldn't be sitting in kollel that give kollel a bad name in recent years.  And teaching boys that kollel is everything and everything else is a waste of time doesn't help promote good earners or good middos towards others for that matter. Fathers and husbands are supposed to take care of their families.

 Every once in a while I'll meet a guy in kollel who makes me proud to support him. It doesn't happen nearly as often as it should unfortunately.

@sky121, PM me, I'll give you a tour of Lakewood. You are a motzi shem ra. The vast majority of the long term learners are serious masmidim who are moser nefesh for Torah. Shame on you! Come to Bais Shalom, you'll see almost a thousand yungeleit pounding 9-12 hours a day. Many of them drive old cars, don't go on vacations, and wear old suits.
There is Torah Leshma going on in Lakewood on a massive scale. If you are only meeting the minority who are coming along for the ride, maybe you should start choosing who you hang out with differently.
SHAME ON YOU!

[smurf]

@sky121, PM me, I'll give you a tour of Lakewood. You are a motzi shem ra. The vast majority of the long term learners are serious masmidim who are moser nefesh for Torah. Shame on you! Come to Bais Shalom, you'll see almost a thousand yungeleit pounding 9-12 hours a day. Many of them drive old cars, don't go on vacations, and wear old suits.
There is Torah Leshma going on in Lakewood on a massive scale. If you are only meeting the minority who are coming along for the ride, maybe you should start choosing who you hang out with differently.
SHAME ON YOU!

Those are a special breed who deserve all the credit and help we can give them. I know quite a few and respect them immensely.
I think sky was referring to the ones who stay in yeshiva after they get married cuz it's the "in" thing to do.GRanted they deserve the free pass for the first year.  However some stay in kollel even long after they burned out. Those people would be better of being Koivea Ittim and getting a job. They'd probably wind up learning the same amount, theyd be less of a burden on their family, and theyd feel a lot better about themselves too.