Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz Article

[henche]

For one example of the stupidity of the mishpacha article, note how it showed numbers of single girls and then argued it was due to a numbers mismatch.  If it was a mismatch, why not show the numbers of single boys from the same parallel classes in LA?

[Baruch]

For one example of the stupidity of the mishpacha article, note how it showed numbers of single girls and then argued it was due to a numbers mismatch.  If it was a mismatch, why not show the numbers of single boys from the same parallel classes in LA?

+1. All the numbers are being crunched by amateurs. There may be a numbers gap.  I just want real proof. Not anecdotal proof. We don't change society based on speculations. Even if there is strong intuition towards that speculation.

[henche]

+1. All the numbers are being crunched by amateurs. There may be a numbers gap.  I just want real proof. Not anecdotal proof. We don't change society based on speculations. Even if there is strong intuition towards that speculation.

@Henche, you live in Boston. Do you know how many Boston alumni of Bais Yaakov of Boston there are over 22 not married?
Zero. I repeat - ZERO!

How many BY of Boston alumni over 22 are there? 16? lol

But yes, that is the point.  It would a good idea to commission an actual study before we go changing society.  It shouldn't even be too hard. How about start with the elementary school classes in lakewood from 1980 and on, and see who is still single from both girls and boys.

[PlatinumGuy]

How many BY of Boston alumni over 22 are there? 16? lol

But yes, that is the point.  It would a good idea to commission an actual study before we go changing society.  It shouldn't even be too hard. How about start with the elementary school classes in lakewood from 1980 and on, and see who is still single from both girls and boys.

Can check the age gap simply by checking school enrollment across a defined range of families

[plainbachur]

I emailed Reb Shlomo Yehuda this thread he said he will try to reply to this thread stay tuned...

[Baruch]

How many BY of Boston alumni over 22 are there? 16? lol

But yes, that is the point.  It would a good idea to commission an actual study before we go changing society.  It shouldn't even be too hard. How about start with the elementary school classes in lakewood from 1980 and on, and see who is still single from both girls and boys.

With Reb Rechnitz's money, a real study can be done. If a real study is done with black on white hard facts, and there is a major problem going on, I believe our community will agree to change our practices.

(I happen to be a proponent of boys getting married younger, to fend off the yetzer hara.)

[Baruch]

Those are a special breed who deserve all the credit and help we can give them. I know quite a few and respect them immensely.
I think sky was referring to the ones who stay in yeshiva after they get married cuz it's the "in" thing to do.GRanted they deserve the free pass for the first year.  However some stay in kollel even long after they burned out. Those people would be better of being Koivea Ittim and getting a job. They'd probably wind up learning the same amount, theyd be less of a burden on their family, and theyd feel a lot better about themselves too.

I bolded this line from his comment for a reason:  "Every once in a while I'll meet a guy in kollel who makes me proud to support him. It doesn't happen nearly as often as it should unfortunately."

[Baruch]

How many BY of Boston alumni over 22 are there? 16? lol

But yes, that is the point.  It would a good idea to commission an actual study before we go changing society.  It shouldn't even be too hard. How about start with the elementary school classes in lakewood from 1980 and on, and see who is still single from both girls and boys.

I would get a class list of every non chassidic non MO school in America. Girl schools grades that are now 29-33, Boys school 32-37, and see how many are not married. It shouldn't be too hard.

There are big shadchanim who say that the crisis does not exist in Lakewood. Are they wrong? Let's see.

[henche]

With Reb Rechnitz's money, a real study can be done. If a real study is done with black on white hard facts, and there is a major problem going on, I believe our community will agree to change our practices.

(I happen to be a proponent of boys getting married younger, to fend off the yetzer hara.)

I agree that the community would be much more willing to change if the theory became fact. 

But, I'd actually propose the women getting married later, in that case. 

[Baruch]

Another point: There are 105 boys born for every 100 girls.

http://www.livescience.com/33491-male-female-sex-ratio.html

[Chaikel]

But, I'd actually propose the women getting married later, in that case. 

This is something I've always said. Even if these statistics are true, in our generation it is far smarter to push the girl off than the boys in

[Baruch]

I agree that the community would be much more willing to change if the theory became fact. 

But, I'd actually propose the women getting married later, in that case.

What's so terrible if a boy from ages 21 - 23 doesn't walk around with immoral thoughts in his head a whole day?

[henche]

What's so terrible if a boy from ages 21 - 23 doesn't walk around with immoral thoughts in his head a whole day?

I think I could make my case even if I agree that it would not be "so" terrible for a boy to not walk around thinking of sex for a whole day.

I think that:
1. Boys 21-22 are often-usually not mature enough for marriage.
2. It is important that they learn for more years (and the clock starts ticking when you get married).

[PlatinumGuy]

What's so terrible if a boy from ages 21 - 23 doesn't walk around with immoral thoughts in his head a whole day?

What a loaded question. Nobody claimed that part would be terrible and you know it

[sky121]

@sky121, PM me, I'll give you a tour of Lakewood. You are a motzi shem ra. The vast majority of the long term learners are serious masmidim who are moser nefesh for Torah. Shame on you! Come to Bais Shalom, you'll see almost a thousand yungeleit pounding 9-12 hours a day. Many of them drive old cars, don't go on vacations, and wear old suits.
There is Torah Leshma going on in Lakewood on a massive scale. If you are only meeting the minority who are coming along for the ride, maybe you should start choosing who you hang out with differently.
SHAME ON YOU!

No one is knocking the guys who are seriously learning and learning well. If that's what you heard I'm sorry and I'd read over what I said again. And in a place like Lakewood (which I did not single out, you did) where you have THAT many people learning I should hope there are many honest learners there. I know a couple personally. And I thought we were here to have a discussion. Not sure why you think I should be shamed. I'm not here to have a bashing fest, just to have a serious helpful respectful discussion.  No need to start making silly comments about who I hang out with, don't you agree ?

[smurf]

This is something I've always said. Even if these statistics are true, in our generation it is far smarter to push the girl off than the boys in

That might be true. But they'd be to scared given that their statistical chances of getting engaged will go down

[sky121]

That might be true. But they'd be to scared given that their statistical chances of getting engaged will go down

+1 I've heard quite a few girls say they wish they could have waited and focused more on their education etc but were scared.

[Chaikel]

That might be true. But they'd be to scared given that their statistical chances of getting engaged will go down

I don't understand. Isn't the entire theory that the chances to get engaged will go up? Also this will stem the tide of new girls coming "of age" and will give us 2 years to catch up

[henche]

That might be true. But they'd be to scared given that their statistical chances of getting engaged will go down

How's it been working out convincing the 19 year old boys to date?

[henche]

I don't understand. Isn't the entire theory that the chances to get engaged will go up? Also this will stem the tide of new girls coming "of age" and will give us 2 years to catch up

Yes, but there would also be a sudden glut when 4 years worth of girls went on the market in one shot. I guess that may be why the girls waiting can't work. 

Still, it was the girls' fault all along for getting married too early all along. They should have kept pace with the boys.