Frankly, It sounds to me like you were fed a shallow version of yiddeshkeit, which sadly didn't stand up to the test of life. Perhaps if you'de have taken the time and effort to try and understand these concepts you wouldn't be so troubled by them.
I believe your post mirrors this problem specifically, each one of the issues you raised are presented in a oversimplifies negative context.
The majority of DDF users have no problem with these issues and have developed a deeper understanding of them.
"Ethics" outside of a religious system is undefined and can be abused or used as one sees fit. In truth it is but a practical social construct which has no more inherent value than the quality of life it provides for us.
If society were to begin to begin to find drugs, gun fights, and prostitution to be acceptable and praiseworthy then these could be called "ethical", but that could never happen... right?...listen to a random sampling of 5 rap songs and you won't be so sure anymore.
The first R' Avadiya MeBartenura on Avos makes the point that the reason the chain of Torah ShBal Pe is first listed here of all places (mid-nezikin) is to make sure nobody mistakes the morality and ethics written here for a human construct, rather OUR ETHICS come from Hashem in the very same chain as EVERY other part of the Torah.
He is essentially warning us not to fall into the fallacy of assuming that your own moral meter can decide what is right regardless of what G-d has to say. He is warning us not make the mistakes you proudly portray in your post. You naively yet arrogantly indicate your belief that G-d's morality is skewed and you have got it right.
"Ethics" that are not in line with halacha and Torah hashkafa are meaningless and dangerous, why should we teach that to our children?
+10000000, extremely well said.
It reminds me of the story where a father brought his children to Rav Avigdor Miller, and they were being very polite, saying please and thank you. The proud father said to him, "Don't my children have good manners?" Rav Miller answered, "The Nazis also had good manners, and it didn't stop them from killing millions of people."
Manners and ethics are meaningless, unless one believes there is a Higher Power which dictates what they are, since otherwise every person will define their ethics according to what feel good for them and works for their benefit.
Whenever there is a discussion about whether something is ethical, and someone said his Rav told him it's mutar, there will always be that one person who jumps up and starts disparaging him, saying that he's a terrible Rav and this is clearly unethical and wrong, etc. etc. Guess what? The Torah doesn't care about our small minded definition about what is ethical or not, or right and wrong. If the Torah says something is permitted, it is whether you and I understand it or not. If you believe he's wrong, take it up with your own Rabbi, but don't start knocking this Rav's psak based on how he understands the Shulchan Aruch.
/end rant
I still think that we should shy away from unethical concepts in the torah including amalek and not try to explain it to a 6 year old like it is simple. It is the last thing from simple and it is one of the strongest arguments the Christians use against the Jewish religion. This past weeks parsha talked about how the torah permits rape after a battle. Would you teach that to a 6 year old? Is that ethical?
I believe that almost everything can be brought down to any level, even that of a 6 year old. If you teach him that the Torah permits rape after a battle, then it's almost like you're saying "I don't understand this and I think it's totally wrong, but the Torah says it, so we have to go with it." If you brought it down to his level and just said simply that the Torah permits marrying a non-Jewish woman after a battle, most kids won't even think about the fact that it could be non-consensual. That is besides for the fact that this is not rape like any other pillaging army in history where she gets thrown away like a used tissue after one time, but rather if he indeed marries her, he must treat her like any other wife.
Forget the work "ethics" and think about right, wrong and gray areas. Many of the frum people I know, like to go in the gray area of halacha as well. Davening shachris a few minutes past the zman, talking during prayers etc.... When a child is raised with halacha as the only code of ethics and he sees people bending the small rules (even for a good reason) he will not be able to know the difference between wrong, really wrong and right.
Whatever system of ethics you teach a child, they will see people violating it. So why is that a reason not teach him the only one which is inherently true and really matters?
Thought this might be helpful. Here is a condensed version that skips the intricate details of the story and primarily serves as a warning to others, without getting into the how frum the guy is:
You know me as the guy with lot of miles. I’m also the guy who got scammed out of hundreds of thousands of them. I’ll spare you the details, as they are long and confusing, but I’d like to share a few warnings to help everyone keep their accounts safe.
An individual who follows this site and even attended one of my seminars managed to books dozens of stays for himself, his friends and family using the points in one of my accounts. With only my name, he managed to convince the phone booking agents he was in fact me, and they booked tens of thousands of dollars worth of hotel stays for him.
What can you do to avoid this?
1) Keep your profile up to date
Because the email address associated with the account was an old email address I never check or use, I did not see email confirmations for any of the bookings and it went on for months before I caught on.
Keep your email, phone and address information up to date, and you’ll get notified whenever there is activity on your account.
2) Monitor your accounts
Make a habit of checking your account balances at least once a month, and ensuring there are no unauthorized transactions. You should already be doing this with your credit card statements, do it with your mileage accounts, too.
3) Be careful who you trust.
I gave away free suite nights at various hotels around the world, but no longer can do that after one of the winners spent thousands at the minibar and other incidentals.
Thank G-d, in all the above cases, I had my points reinstated and money refunded. But it caused many stressful days and an unbelievable headache.
Unfortunately, the various loyalty programs we’ve come to know and love seem to have a few exploitable security breaches. Please stay vigilant and make sure it doesn’t happen to you.
Well written. Although, I don't know if it's wise to explain, even briefly, how he pulled it off,.
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