Author Topic: 5 day Kauai/Maui Trip Report with 4 month old and maneuvering tznius issues  (Read 15478 times)

Offline kivabb

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But can I ask you: every time you walk to the pool area or other areas like waterfalls you are putting yourself in a place we're you are likely to see undressed women. So if you keep to haloches, what's your justification for this?


The cheshbon was that at the early/later times there would be much less likelihood of seeing pritzos. As a backup, I also had my wife to quickly scout out the general pool/beach area and give me the heads up (or down) when I needed to.

But point well taken. In the perfect world it's far from ideal and I hope others can learn from my mistakes/experiences if nogea them
« Last Edit: January 21, 2015, 01:57:48 PM by kivabb »

Offline @Yehuda

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The cheshbon was that at the early/later times there would be much less likelihood of seeing pritzos. As a backup, I also had my wife to quickly scout out the general pool/beach area and give me the heads up (or down) when I needed to.

But point well taken. In the perfect world it's far from ideal and I hope others can learn from my mistakes/experiences if nogea them
Props on keeping a cool head during these discussions.

Offline DMYD

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Props on keeping a cool head during these discussions.
After 8 kids I think he knows how to do that :D

Offline chuchem

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'chuchem' seams to believe that if you cannot be perfect you should do whatever you want.
BTW IMO if you are at a lower level in "ruchnius" in a certain subject than someone else you should not be the one questioning him on that

I never said that, dont make up what I believe.

But if he really wants to do things 100% according to Halacha and I admire him for this, I was asking how thats justified

If he sends his wife in advance then kol hakawod, but it doesnt take away the good chance that someone will come after you are there

What he did was for sure better then most of us that travel to these places, but if you want to keep to 100% shmiras enayim Hawaii Hotel pools isnt a good idea, even being careful

Offline kivabb

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but if you want to keep to 100% shmiras enayim Hawaii Hotel pools isnt a good idea, even being careful

100% shmiras einayim is only in the Beis Medrash. Taking a trip to Shop-Rite in warm months has more pritzus then what I saw in all Kauai. Needless to say walking in Miami Beach even if not on Collins. And yes, I try not to go to Shop-Rite. But agreed that anyplace that has swimming, combined with Hawaii atmosphere lends to a much greater potential of risk. My experience was that Kauai had less of that atmosphere than Maui and using my methods the 2 times I went posed less of a risk, but yes a risk nonetheless and YMMV.

Offline yos9694

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I think that many of the posts we see on this forum are misleading and can cause people reading to think that their authors are not careful in tsnius. A person could read all these trip reports and think that since everyone else is going to these places and spending all that time on beaches, snorkeling boats with other couples, in waterfalls etc, it isn't a big deal to do so himself. Halevai more people would sprinkle their trip reports with caveats as the OP did here so that people don't get the wrong impression.

Online Dr Moose

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I never said that, dont make up what I believe.
when you wrote this:
But can I ask you: every time you walk to the pool area or other areas like waterfalls you are putting yourself in a place we're you are likely to see undressed women. So if you keep to haloches, what's your justification for this?
he assumed (as did I) only if you hold of the halachos do you need justification to walk in places that undressed women will be, otherwise you can walk wherever you want
Hey there! I am using DansDeals Forums.

Offline Buruch

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Could be because I live in L.A., but to me, the least interesting part of (Kauai) Hawaii is the beach. @Yehuda (and others) - its not worth it to go see the incredible lushness and greenery of northern Kauai? Waimea Canyon; Napali coast; Helicopter ride over the the island interior - including the awe-inspiring descent into the crater of Mt. Waialeale; or any of the sensational hikes with the jaw-dropping views? Im sure the other islands have their convincing attractions as well, but I havent been to them yet to say based on experience (Maui is in a couple weeks BEH!).


Offline @Yehuda

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Could be because I live in L.A., but to me, the least interesting part of (Kauai) Hawaii is the beach. @Yehuda (and others) - its not worth it to go see the incredible lushness and greenery of northern Kauai? Waimea Canyon; Napali coast; Helicopter ride over the the island interior - including the awe-inspiring descent into the crater of Mt. Waialeale; or any of the sensational hikes with the jaw-dropping views? Im sure the other islands have their convincing attractions as well, but I havent been to them yet to say based on experience (Maui is in a couple weeks BEH!).
I'm sure those activities are incredible, but Hawaii is famous for its beaches and water. I'm sure there's great horseback riding and boating in Switzerland, but it's famous for its mountains.

Offline Buruch

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I'm sure those activities are incredible, but Hawaii is famous for its beaches and water. I'm sure there's great horseback riding and boating in Switzerland, but it's famous for its mountains.

I did not give examples of things that exist elsewhere.
My point was exactly that. Although it may be famous for beaches, it has sufficient beauty to make it famous independent of the beaches.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2015, 05:38:51 PM by Buruch »

Offline Ergel

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I'm sure those activities are incredible, but Hawaii is famous for its beaches and water. I'm sure there's great horseback riding and boating in Switzerland, but it's famous for its mountains.
I really don't see the logic. So let's say I love horseback riding and boating and I heard that they have great horseback riding in Switzerland and I really want to go do it. I'd love to do the mountains also, but I have a medical condition which doesn't allow me to go to high altitudes. I shouldn't go to Switzerland because I can't do what Switzerland is famous for?
Life isn't about checking the boxes. Nobody cares.

Offline casualchurner

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Thanks for a great TR ! And for showing that Hawaii can (sort of/up for debate) be done while maintaining a high standard of shmiras einayim.

Offline SFS

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Congratulations to you and your wife for making time to get away with the baby, and to such a beautiful place. I think your TR shows that a wonderful trip is what you make of it and not ticking off boxes of top tourist spots.

As a woman with a new baby I'm sure your wife appreciated the slower pace. And while you focused a great deal on the tznius issue for you, it was probably similar for your wife. When I was a new mom, the last thing I wanted to see were other women in a bikini or revealing clothing. So glad you all had a wonderful time and were able to create a beautiful trip given the challenges.

All the best and good health to your new baby.

Offline 3yummyboys

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I really don't see the logic. So let's say I love horseback riding and boating and I heard that they have great horseback riding in Switzerland and I really want to go do it. I'd love to do the mountains also, but I have a medical condition which doesn't allow me to go to high altitudes. I shouldn't go to Switzerland because I can't do what Switzerland is famous for?

+1

Offline Dan

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I really don't see the logic. So let's say I love horseback riding and boating and I heard that they have great horseback riding in Switzerland and I really want to go do it. I'd love to do the mountains also, but I have a medical condition which doesn't allow me to go to high altitudes. I shouldn't go to Switzerland because I can't do what Switzerland is famous for?
Flawed parable.
Better one would be that there was a medication you can search for that would allow you to go to high altitudes but you didn't seek it out...

Either way, if the OP enjoyed without that there's no shame in that. Just saying it's possible to have it all if you want.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.