Corny Jokes & Bad Puns Thread

[mevinyavin]

[NTorch]

[mevinyavin]

https://www.tomshardware.com/tech-industry/cyber-security/hackers-demand-frances-schneider-electric-pay-a-usd125k-ransom-in-baguettes

Hand over the dough or your 40GB of secret data is toast.

[NTorch]

[NTorch]

[Randomex]

(For those who don't get it - there's a movie series in which a DeLorean is made into a time machine.)

[YitzyS]

(For those who don't get it - there's a movie series in which a DeLorean is made into a time machine.)

I know nothing about movies but even I know that

[AsherO]

I know nothing about movies but even I know that

סתירה מיניה וביה

[YitzyS]

סתירה מיניה וביה

My kavanah was that I know nothing in the "movie trivia" category, but my extensive knowledge in the "Abie trivia" category (specifically in the MMM3 background of the time machine) has taught me this. (And that the album came out shortly after the release of those movies, and it has a similar plot twist of running out of gas when no unleaded gas was available...)

[NTorch]

[mevinyavin]

[NTorch]

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[NTorch]

[NTorch]

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[NTorch]

[EliJelly]

Oldie but goodie. (and my daughter's class just played this out)

George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice meeting in the Oval Office.

George:   Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi:   Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George:   Great. Lay it on me.

Condi:   Hu is the new leader of China.

George:   That's what I want to know.

Condi:   That's what I'm telling you.

George:   That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi:   Yes.

George:   I mean the fellow's name.

Condi:   Hu.

George:   The guy in China.

Condi:   Hu.

George:   The new leader of China.

Condi:   Hu.

George:   The Chinaman!

Condi:   Hu is leading China.

George:   Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi:   I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George:   Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi:   That's the man's name.

George:   That's who's name?

Condi:   Yes.

George:   Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi:   That's correct.

George:   Then who is in China?

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir is in China?

Condi:   No, sir.

George:   Then who is?

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Yassir?

Condi:   No, sir.

George:   Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi:   Kofi?

George:   No, thanks.

Condi:   You want Kofi?

George:   No.

Condi:   You don't want Kofi.

George:   No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi:   Kofi?

George:   Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi:   And call who?

George:   Who is the guy at the U.N.?

Condi:   Hu is the guy in China.

George:   Will you stay out of China?!

Condi:   Yes, sir.

George:   And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi:   Kofi.

George:   All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Condi:   (picking up the phone) Rice, here.

George:   Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

[NTorch]

[NTorch]