Author Topic: RIP/BDE Master Thread  (Read 86205 times)

Online TimT

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #780 on: May 06, 2019, 10:29:32 PM »
In almost every such case there was a change of plans. Either the parent didnít usually have the kid at that time or the other parent always takes the kid. No excuse but thatís why they forget that the child is in the car.

Online hvaces42

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #781 on: May 06, 2019, 10:31:10 PM »
Read the story . Thats not what happened .
The person in the darn car takes the kid out. Full stop. Miscommunication? WTAH?
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Offline dealfinder11

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #782 on: May 06, 2019, 10:54:16 PM »
The person in the darn car takes the kid out. Full stop. Miscommunication? WTAH?

So you come out firing on a sensitive story, and when you get confronted to get your facts straight and read the actual story, you just double down without reading the story? Sit down.

Excerpt from the story I posted:


At that point, there was a miscommunication about whether the toddlerís mother or father would bring the toddler in from the car, the source said.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2019, 11:06:35 PM by dealfinder11 »

Online TimT

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #783 on: May 06, 2019, 11:00:16 PM »
Who is so lost in their own world that they forget a kid in the car? Mind boggling. My wife and I have raised 4 kids to adulthood. Never, once, did either of us leave a kid in the car for a second by mistake. Yet every year we have one of these in our community. Just cant understand it.
Every one of these parents said the exact same thing before it happened to them. Better to be ďoffensiveĒ & not lose a child.

Offline joey89

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #784 on: May 06, 2019, 11:27:08 PM »
That is so offensive I cant even begin.

Who is so lost in their own world that they forget a kid in the car? Mind boggling. My wife and I have raised 4 kids to adulthood. Never, once, did either of us leave a kid in the car for a second by mistake. Yet every year we have one of these in our community. Just cant understand it.

And to say THIS?!?!?!? A phone? A shoe? A purse? That before your child.  Im sorry..
Sure, shoot the messenger.

If the parents phone/shoe/purse was on the child there is a chance the child might be alive.

Itís unfortunate and tragic that people forget their child in the car and it reflects very poorly on our culture. However in most cases the parent was distracted/under other pressures and leaves the car without the child. You can leave a car without a child and not be physically hindered, itís tough to walk out of the car without your shoe.

« Last Edit: May 06, 2019, 11:30:16 PM by joey89 »

Offline Dan

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #785 on: May 06, 2019, 11:29:43 PM »
Usually these stories happen when someone's routine is changed and they're not supposed to have the kid with them at that point.

Always so sad though. Must be hard to live with yourself.
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Offline cmey

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #786 on: May 07, 2019, 12:07:03 AM »
That is so offensive I cant even begin.

Who is so lost in their own world that they forget a kid in the car? Mind boggling. My wife and I have raised 4 kids to adulthood. Never, once, did either of us leave a kid in the car for a second by mistake. Yet every year we have one of these in our community. Just cant understand it.

And to say THIS?!?!?!? A phone? A shoe? A purse? That before your child.  Im sorry..

Your a saint. Most of us are human.  Itís been over a decade, but I can think of at least a couple of times it almost happened to us. I donít remember the exact circumstances but I seem to remember there were a dozen things going on- doctors visit, another kid missed the bus, other parent had a change in schedule etc., Iím the slightly paranoid type who checks three times anyway, but I honestly thought I was just going through the motions and had already dropped the kid off when I checked. Yes a shoe in the backseat would make the difference.

Then there was the time I pulled into a spot at the local park and started putting up the car windows and my 4 year old decided to stick her head out the window at that second. I happened to see her and stopped with the window just barely resting on her neck. I shudder to think what could have happened in another couple of seconds. And we are attentive, conscientious parents.We can try our best but we are not always in control. Sometimes God has other plans.

Someone who lost a child who was forgotten in a car recently made a wedding for the next sibling. I am sure they are still suffering. All we can do is feel for this poor family, not point fingers.


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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #788 on: May 07, 2019, 12:50:44 AM »
Your a saint. Most of us are human.  Itís been over a decade, but I can think of at least a couple of times it almost happened to us. I donít remember the exact circumstances but I seem to remember there were a dozen things going on- doctors visit, another kid missed the bus, other parent had a change in schedule etc., Iím the slightly paranoid type who checks three times anyway, but I honestly thought I was just going through the motions and had already dropped the kid off when I checked. Yes a shoe in the backseat would make the difference.

Then there was the time I pulled into a spot at the local park and started putting up the car windows and my 4 year old decided to stick her head out the window at that second. I happened to see her and stopped with the window just barely resting on her neck. I shudder to think what could have happened in another couple of seconds. And we are attentive, conscientious parents.We can try our best but we are not always in control. Sometimes God has other plans.

Someone who lost a child who was forgotten in a car recently made a wedding for the next sibling. I am sure they are still suffering. All we can do is feel for this poor family, not point fingers.
I was not judging the parents. They have to live with themselves and I dont envy them.

I am astonished at the suggestions to help someone remember they have a kid in the back. Change of schedule or routine is whats used as the reason in most cases. I just dont understand that. There is routine and sometimes things change. Kids die because of that? Just cant make that leap in my mind. Thank you for bestowing sainthood on someone who can just adjust to changes in "routine". What I think im seeing is failure in critical thinking skills translate into not being able to adjust to simple change in routine.

Maybe its an age thing.
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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #789 on: May 07, 2019, 12:57:36 AM »
We are not discussing where a parent runs out to get some groceries and leaves the child in the car "for a minute". That would be pure negligence and would warrant some of the over the top comments here.

Usually these stories happen when someone's routine is changed and they're not supposed to have the kid with them at that point.

...in most cases the parent was distracted/under other pressures and leaves the car without the child.[/b]

Usually the change in routine where father takes the child to playgroup instead of the mother, father gets distracted from work/personal issue, child falls asleep, father doesn't remember that the child is there and ends up driving to work instead of playgroup...I've read a lot of stories about this, it can and literally does happen to to the most loving parents. We are all familiar with the "Don't leave your kids in the car" warnings, but those warnings only help for people that are aware that their kids are in the car. When they're not in your car 364 days a year, and they fall asleep, its very easy to fall back on routine.

Heck, a couple weeks ago I was dropping off 2 kids instead of 1, I drove past the playgroup because I was so used to only dropping off the other child. Obviously nothing happened, but it goes to show, we think we know everything and this can never happen to me and I'll never forget that my child is in the car, but the truth is some people have to get off their high horse and accept that it is completely human to forget and this is an unfortunate accident.
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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #790 on: May 07, 2019, 01:38:43 AM »
Live forever or die trying.

Offline shwarmabob

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #791 on: May 07, 2019, 02:44:35 PM »
John Lukacs (1924-2019)

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #792 on: May 13, 2019, 10:46:33 PM »


ברוך דיין האמת- By the mir yeshivah on R and Ocean parkway for those who want to know which yeshivah the levaya is at.
Don't try to be someone else , be who you are because everyone else is taken.

Offline ckmk47

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #793 on: May 13, 2019, 11:29:45 PM »
For those that don't think it's normal to defy the laws of human nature, here's a scientific study:
http://www.kidsandcars.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/2019-03-Dr.-Diamonds-Paper-Neuropsychology-and-legal-issues-involving-children-dying-of-heatstroke-in-cars.pdf
The "Bag in the Back" campaign.  Wants everyone to put their pocketbook or other essential in the back so you'll be reminded of the child.   

Online TimT

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Re: RIP/BDE Master Thread
« Reply #794 on: May 14, 2019, 12:39:23 AM »