Author Topic: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread  (Read 911136 times)

Online stooges44

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9405 on: May 01, 2019, 01:27:40 PM »
Doesn't your phone have them ?😂🙃🤣🤪

It does but:
1) then it looks like this: which doesn't suffice
2) i dont post from my phone normally
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Offline Something Fishy

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9406 on: May 01, 2019, 02:03:01 PM »
when is smf going to get a better laughing emoji? this ;D doesn't suffice

https://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=51666.0

Offline myi

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9407 on: May 01, 2019, 02:38:19 PM »
Doesn't your phone have them ?😂🙃🤣🤪
All I see if someone with payis. ;)

 
Don't try to be someone else , be who you are because everyone else is taken.

Offline davidrotts63

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9408 on: May 01, 2019, 04:14:58 PM »
It does but:
1) then it looks like this: which doesn't suffice
2) i dont post from my phone normally
looks like a @whYME emoji
(Quit) pulling out the flowers, and watering the weeds. -Peter Lynch

Online stooges44

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9409 on: May 01, 2019, 04:34:45 PM »
https://forums.dansdeals.com/index.php?topic=51666.0

Woo Hoo!!

Thanks! I knew this existed but I couldn't find it IMO should be stickied somewhere
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Offline whYME

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9410 on: May 01, 2019, 04:41:27 PM »
IMO should be stickied somewhere
Agreed.

can we get this stickied somewhere?

Online stooges44

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9411 on: May 07, 2019, 05:01:34 PM »
The following is based on approximately 412 true stories.
10:34 PM: Hello, thank
you for calling Avalon Electronics.
For quality and training purposes,
your call may be monitored or recorded. Your call is very important
to us. To continue in English, please
press…
10:34: [#1]
10:34: Hola, gracias por llamar
Avalon Electrónica…
10:34: <CLICK>
10:35: Hello, thank you for calling
Avalon Electronics. For quality and
training purposes, your call may be
monitored or recorded. Your call is
very important to us. To continue in
English, please press 2 now.
10:35: [#2]
10:35: Please listen to all options
before making your selection as our
menu has recently changed. To place
an order, press one. For questions
about an order already received,
press two. For information about an
order not yet received, press 3. For
billing questions…
10:36: [#0]
10:36: I’m sorry, that is not a valid
option. Hello, thank you for calling
Avalon Electronics. For quality and
training purposes, your call may be
monitored or recorded. Your call is
very important to us. To continue in
English, please press 2 now…
10:36: <SLAM>
10:55: Hello, thank you for calling Avalon Electronics. For quality
or training purposes, your call may
be monitored or recorded. Your call
is very important to us. To continue
in English, please press 2 now…
10:55: [#2]
10:55: Please listen to all menu
options before making your selection
as our menu has recently changed.
To place an order, press one. For
questions about an order already
received, press two. For information about an order not yet received,
press 3. For billing questions, press
4. For information about returning
an order, press…
10:56: Operator!
10:56: I understand you wish to
speak with a representative, is that
correct?
10:56: Yes.
10:56: Okay. Before I connect
you to the correct representative, I
need to know the nature of your call.
Please tell me in a few words…
10:56: Tech support.
10:57: You want to speak with our
sales department, is that correct?
10:57: What? No! No that is not
correct.
10:57: Okay, sorry. In a few words,
please tell me…
10:58: TECH SUPPORT!
10:58: You would like tech support, is that…
10:58: Yes!
10:58: Great! If your product is
under warranty, please…
10:59: [#1]
10:59: Please enter your account
number, followed by the pound key.
10:59: [AV49283]
10:59: Please enter your account
number, followed by the…
10:59: [AV49283 #]
11:00: Please enter your order
number.
11:00:
11:00: If you do not have your order number, please press…
11:01: *
11:00: If you do not have your
order number, please press the star
key.
11:00: @&%$*!
11:00: If you do not have your order number, please press…
11:01: *
11:01: Please hold for the next
available representative.
11:01-11:24: ♬♪♫♪
11:25: <SLAM!>
11:32-12:04 AM: (REPEAT)
12:04-12:19: ♬♪♫♪
12:20: <SLAM!!>
12:35-12:52: (RINSE AND REPEAT)
12:52-1:07: ♬♪♫♪
1:07: Hello, this is Vijay, how can
I help make your day better?
1:07: Zzzzzzzzzzzz….
1:07: Hello?
1:07: REP-RE-SEN-TA-TIVE!!!
1:08: Hello?
1:08: Hel…you mean you’re a human being?
1:08: Oh yes, yes sir. And with
whom do I have the pleasure of
speaking?
1:08: Not sure I remember anymore.
1:09: Sorry?
1:09: Never mind.
1:09: Am I speaking with Mr.
Robert…Zweeg?
1:09: It’s Ronald. And it’s pronounced Zwyge.
1:09: So sorry, sir. So it’s Ronald…
Zwilde?
1:10: Hashem Yishmoreini…
1:10: Excuse me?
1:10: It’s spelled Z-W-E-I-G! Z as
in Zebra, W-E-I-G as in George! And
it’s pronounced Zwyge! Okay? Got
it??
1:11: Yes, sir. So sorry, sir.
1:11: Look, I’m sorry for the attitude, but I’ve been on the phone for
almost three hours trying to get a
human being to talk to, so I’m just
about fried, okay?
1:11: I understand, sir, and I’m
terribly sorry. You happened to call
during our peak hours, and…
1:11: Peak hours? It’s one o’clock
in the freaking morning!
1:12: Yes, sir, sorry, sir. May I call
you Robert?
1:12: You may call me Caitlin for
all I care. Can we please just move
on?
1:12: Yes, sir, of course, sir. I just
need to verify your account. May I
have your mother’s maiden name?
1:12: I-N-D-I-C-H.
1:12: Okay, one second…I…
M…D…
1:13: EN!
1:13: Sorry, sir?
1:13: It’s Not EM like Mary! It’s
EN like Nancy! I-EN-D-I-C-H!
1:13: Yes, yes, that is correct.
1:13: No kidding.
1:14 Father’s middle name?
1:14: Sheesh. Jacob.
1:14: Yes. And just one last question: your Zip Code?
1:14: 11229.
1:15: Excellent. Now how can I be
of assistance, Mr. Caitlin?
1:15: @&%$*!
1:15: Excu…
1:15: NOTHING! NEVER MIND!
My AvTab is broken.
1:16: Yes, sir. I’m terribly sorry for
the inconvenience, Mr. Caitlin, sir.
But don’t worry, we’ll take care of it.
Do you happen to have your original
sales receipt?
1:16: My what? My receipt? What
receipt? I bought it on Amazon!
1:16: Hmm. May I place you on a
brief hold?
1:16: Oh, for crying out…yes, but
please make it snappy!
1:16: No worries, Mr. Caitlin sir,
be right back.
1:17-1:19: ♬♪♫♪
1:20: Hello, Sir?
1:20: Zzzzzz…..
1:20: Um, hello? Mr. Caitlin? Sir?
1:20: Yes, I’m here.
1:21: So sorry for the wait, sir. So
what seems to be the problem with
the unit, sir?
1:21: Well, the screen fades out in
the lower left hand corner, the most
of the icons are missing, and the F,
W, and B keys on the virtual keyboard do not function.
1:21: I see. So sorry for the inconvenience. May I ask: was the unit
dropped in any way?
1:21: No, it wasn’t dropped. I did
spill coffee on it, but I bought the
special AvTec Warranty, so I’m covered for that kind of thing for another 2 years.
1:22: Okay, sir. Fine, no worries.
Ummmmmm…may I just place you
on one more brief hold?
1:22: COME ON! Do you know
what time it is?
1:22: Yes, yes, of course, sir. I’m so
sorry, I promise I’ll be right back this
time, Mr. Caitlin.
1:22: Well, then hurry up! AND
MY NAME IS ZWEIG! ZWEIG! NOT
CAITLIN! ZWEIG!
1:23: But I thought…but you
said…
1:23: Well, don’t think! You don’t
get paid to think! And never mind
what I said! Let me speak to a supervisor!
1:23: I’m so sorry, Mr. Zweeg.
Hold on, I’ll be right back.
1:23: @&%$*!@&%$*!@&%$*!
1:24-1:26: ♬♪♫♪ - & -
@&%$*!@&%$*!@&%$*!
1:27: Thank you so much for holding. Mr. Zweeg, I’ve spoken to my supervisor and he informs me that unfortunately, your warranty does not
cover this repair.
1:27: What are you talking about?
Of course it covers it! That’s specifically why I bought the coverage in
the first place! I use the tablet on my
desk, I drink five or six cups of coffee
a day, so I bought…
1:27: Yes, sir, I understand, sir.
But if you read your warranty, you
will see that it does not cover opaque
liquids.
1:27: WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
1:28: The LDC, the Liquid Damage Clause, specifically states that it
covers only clear liquids, like water,
tea, chicken soup…
1:28: CHICKEN SOUP? WHO
EATS CHICKEN SOUP AT HIS
DESK??
1:28: I’m sorry, Mr. Zweeg, but
there’s nothing I can…
1:28: <SLAM!>
1:30: Hello...
1:30: Hello, I...
1:30: ...and thank you for calling
Bellevue Hospital. To continue in
English, please press one now.
Rocky Zweig has been writing since he
was sixteen and was the Editor-in-Chief
of the late and decidedly unlamented
Modieinu, the mimeographed (remember mimeographs?) newspaper of the
Tenth Avenue Pirchei of Boro Park,
where he wrote everything from stories
to news articles to hashkafa articles to...
yes (now it can be told!)...letters to the
editor. Rocky was sixteen a very long
time ago. He is the proud father of three
marginally neurotic children. He has
been married three — count ‘em — three
times and has finally determined that
he’s probably not very good at matrimonial bliss. He lives in his Fortress of
Solitude in Flatbush with a small menagerie: Clarice, a European Starling; Rabbi Horatio LeZard, a Bearded Dragon;
an aquarium filled with Lake Malawi
African Cichlids; and a ten gallon tank
that functions as a Home for Unwanted
Goldfish, or H.U.G., collected over the
years by his grandkids and great nieces
and nephews at myriad street fairs and
carnivals (rather than face the unpleasant task of flushing these unfortunate
piscine creatures when they are eventually, inevitably ignored by their own obnoxious progeny, the parents simply call
Uncle Rocky who then feeds them and
cares for them until their ultimate natural demise three or four or even ten years
down the pike). So apparently Rocky
seems to get along better with animals
than with his fellow homo sapiens. Or
sapienses. Or whatever. Rocky’s column
will be appearing every other week in
The Jewish Home.

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Offline Dan

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9412 on: May 07, 2019, 05:19:00 PM »
Woo Hoo!!

Thanks! I knew this existed but I couldn't find it IMO should be stickied somewhere
Done.
Save your time, I don't answer PM. Post it in the forum and a dedicated DDF'er will get back to you as soon as possible.

Online stooges44

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9413 on: May 07, 2019, 06:45:26 PM »
If it's not free shipping it's not worth it.

Online stooges44

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9414 on: May 09, 2019, 02:22:28 PM »
If it's not free shipping it's not worth it.

Offline sky121

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9415 on: May 12, 2019, 11:56:34 AM »
.
"Not all who wander are lost"

Offline gingyguy

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9416 on: May 12, 2019, 03:43:01 PM »
May you slide down the banister of happiness & get many splinters of success up your career.

Offline YitzyS

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9417 on: May 12, 2019, 06:02:09 PM »
.

Offline TimT

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9418 on: May 12, 2019, 07:30:50 PM »
.
Why no mention of all the eggs thrown during 2 nights of protests ? :)

Offline YitzyS

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Re: The funny/strange/interesting/random pictures thread
« Reply #9419 on: May 12, 2019, 10:33:59 PM »
Why no mention of all the eggs thrown during 2 nights of protests ? :)
The piece predates those events. Just re-found it and posted. Maybe it will be in version 2.0.